I MC Today

Had a stressful monday, duno y though every mon was bz as usual, but the supervisors made it worst by creating a pressurizing n irritating mood. The whole ambience for tt day was tensed n awful. Wasnt easy for everyone.

Went for dinner at Village afterwards. Then to ktv. Wanted to keep it non alcohol, coz ive been drinking too much lately. I told my frenz i will not drink for the next 18 days till my next pay and every laughed. And i so happened to already drink on the 1st day. Lol.

But i didnt exactly go drinking though we did drank, but it was like jus a few bottles. And we had no mood, didnt even bother to finish the last drink and left. We also left early for e ktv. Decided to take mc today wif my colleague though we didnt reach home too late, was still ard 12+am. But lazed ard till 2am.

Wanted to keep e mc till tis thurs coz i had plans. But i was feelin quite sian. And my colleague shared e same sentiments.

Got test tmr as well, sian. Supposed to be today but i mc so got to take it tmr. Got 2 tests tis week, duno y they decided to torture us recently. But i organised a dinner trip to newton after work. Thinking of tt also sian. Grp of 9. Sian. But i cannot dun go, coz if i dun go, it will be cancelled as usual. I dun go some others will drop out also. I had to hold them together. Lol.

Abit wasteful today's mc. Coz i seriously prefer thurs de. But sian to go today also.

3 mcs tis mth le, $240. Urgh, nvm.

16 days more to payday. Hope i dun get fired. Lol.

My sis is downloading naruto from epi 1 to watch. My gawd.

Fruits basket is coming to a end, the last chapter. And i hate the ending.

I got over the deathnote anime coz its exactly e same anyways, and i dun like to wait one epi after one epi after one epi.

Recently no gd movies to watch also. Sian.

Inuyasha manga shd also end soon, its nv ending.

Hunter X Hunter duno will continue or not. Duno wat will happen to the characters.

Bleach, sigh. Nvm.

Tired leh. Though i slpt quite abit, but i got a feeling i wun be able to slp tonight. Haha. C how lor. Sian. Gotta work tmr. Sobz. Who will save me???

Rain Of Glass

I guess i will not quit end of tis yr at the end of e day, might even be able to pull thru my confirmation, but tts if im strong enuff, otherwise it will be byebye jan07.

Not like its so easy anyways, dec n jan r 2 crucial mths for e company to ask u 2 leave. We wouldnt get any bonus if they ask us to leave any day next mth, n u would jus wonder y e hell u tolerated all e crap n shit for.

Unless i noe e exact kind of jobs to look for next n actually make myself do it, i will jus bump ard in tis job 1st though its going to be super lonely coz they r all leaving...

I am rather close wif some of them, and though im trying not to get attached to them, things jus happened. And i noe becoz of tt i will feel sad when they leave but hey, tts life. Nothin is forever. I kinda like some of them though we didnt spend alot of time together. Some r nice n sweet at times, while some r... nvm...

I also need to noe whether will i be able to survive without them after they left. I wan to noe how far i can tolerate in tt circumstance. If i cant i'll jus leave as well. But at least a few will still be ard though, so its not tt bad i guess.

They hired another batch of newbies. Its kinda strange n amazing at the same time how many ppl came n left. Its like u will wonder how many ppl actually worked in tis co. be4. Lol

Coz of my work location, it jus so happened one day me n colleague hopped to acid bar on a sudden decision and ive been hangin ard there ever since. I did try to stop going there last week, lol, coz its drying my bank. But i went there again twice tis week.

And every time i go there, i will definately bring a new person there.

Yest i brought SZ there, then saw Kenneth who i reprimanded for not contacting me for 1.5 yrs. Lol. He was wif a grp of frenz, Jiayi, Sheena, Salley, Meiyue.

Oh and then something happened also. The customers above me knocked the glass off the table, shattered and rained directly on me. I was shock and the bar froze. Everyone working there was very worried but fortunately i wasnt injured.

It was all within a split second, i heard glass shattering and the next moment i realised i was showered by the glass pieces. I touched my hair and dropped the pieces. Its not the bar's fault. And they haf been very nice to me as well. It jus e dumb customers who didnt even apologise sincerely.

I was still very nice n polite n i did not pursue at all. I was in a gd mood. So i jus let it be.

Will be meeting Kenneth wif SZ again tis comin thurs coz hes leaving for India in dec for half a yr.

Start of a new week again. 6 days of ... Sigh, nvm i will not think abt it.

Tuesday Bluez

Yo yoz. Surprise surprise...

I am so tired but i dun feel like slpin. Duno y leh. I noe if i now jus rest myself alittle i would fall aslp immediately... But i dun wan to. Dun wan my night to jus go lidat. I am mad i noe.

Strangely, i developed tuesday bluez after tis job. Somehow tues seemed to be so much more miserable than mons which of coz doesnt seem to be tt way for the rest. Perhaps like one of my colleagues who mentioned, its due to my retardation. lol.

But really mah, mon still ok de lor, but tues is like shit lor. Mon i very hyper de though lack of slp. But tues i am like dead fish.

Today, forgetting tt it was tues and i was in gd mood. I went wif a very goofy mood. Actually i noe where tt goofiness came fr lah, jus tt i wun say it here...

I was happy and filled wif energy. But then hor, when it came to lunch time, my energy suddenly all drained away. Lol. I found it very hard to concentrate and time crawled. I told tt colleague who said i am retarded tt i no mood, and he said, of coz mah, its tues for u...

YA HOR~ Hahahahah...

I feel like mc-ing again, but then last week i jus took one leh... 80 bucks leh... Sigh...

But cannot take it liao...

So sian sian sian... I went to eat outside jus now and bought some things too. Tok abt saving money, sigh. But i didnt drink hor, though i did alittle on sat. But it was jus a harmless bottle.

I tried to organise another grp outin for my colleagues. Bringing 11 ppl together is so tiring lor... If not for others i wun do it de. Though tentatively its set on next wed or thurs, and 4 haven replied me yet.

U may ask y i so urgent, coz if i ask them tmr, cfm no replies de. I noe their dead patterns inside out. Took me whole night to at least get some answers lor. But it was abt 65% so i am happy.

I still haf not thot of where to eat though. Lazy to think now. And they also no ideas de.

One new guy (Daniel) smsed me, asking if i was leaving soon then wan to gather up coz it was so sudden. I told him i did think of leaving but trying hard to hold back. I think i can tolerate bah... U think?

Ok lah, think i go sleep le... Gotta wake at 5am... Sian...

Can i mc?

Sigh...

Congrats! Congrats!

Congrats to me~~~ *throws confetti all ard* But tis is no happy post.

Ive finally survived the 3 mths agency bond in my current job. 18 Nov was my official 3 mth, and i cancelled my OT on tt sat coz i knew i couldnt take it anymore.

It might haf been a very short time for most of u, but not so for me. Its been a long haul. It felt more like 6 mths.

Nevertheless, i am proud to haf endured through tis 3 mths of torment. *GIVES MYSELF A BIG PAT ON MY BACK (LUCKY I CAN STILL REACH.)*

I had on so many occasions when i just wanted to disappear from work, reach home, type my resignation and throw it on my manager's desk. Though its nothing to do wif her. But the frustration made me lost my mind on so many occasions.

I became more n more nasty. Having to deal with horrible and nasty ppl every day... If i continue in tis job for any longer. I would most prob becum cold, sian and heartless. Which in a way is wat i wan and dun wan to becum. Dun get it? Nvm. Tts jus me.

I intended to quit end of tis mth, coz i already had advanced pay, if i leave now i haf to retn them alot of money. But it would be quite silly at tis pt coz to endure another mth, i would get pro-rated bonus, which is like abt 300+... I dun really care abt e money, wats 300+ for another mth of mental torture, but its jus dumb to leave now...

I noe i haf not blogged for so long, blogger prompted me for my user id and i forgot wats tt. Lol.

Cross my heart, I had really genuinely wanted to stay in tis job for 1-2 yrs. At least to make it more stable coz none of my jobs ive held previously for the past 3 yrs lasted more than 3 mths... Sounds like a useless, spoilt person toking, but who cares. If i explained in details which i wun, u noe its not my fault and i am not procrastinating nor am i in self denial mode.

Being in the job itself got tougher each day. Recently, it became so boring. I narrowed from 2 yrs plan to 1 yr, to jus cross my confirmation which is 6 mths, to after dec, to tis mth.

It wasnt easy.

I am abit stubborn though, i wan to leave, but i feel fucked up to pay them back my mcs. Coz our mcs are unpaid leave. I took one in oct, and i paid back. Tis mth though they changed the system, i took 2 mcs which is like 160 bucks. So if i leave before 6 mths, i would haf to pay alot of money back... And in a way, i am not willing to do so.

However, its not easy to survive till 18 feb 07 which happen to my chinese new yr which also happened to be my gd fren, SZ's bday.

But watever, they might even jus fire me before the end. And hire a bunch of newbies. Its already 12 new ppl after my batch, and abt the same no. of ppl left & fired as well during tis period of time.

If i strangely, magically managed to survive till feb, i would most prob jus stay till end of next yr. Though its going to be very lonely coz everyone i knew will be gone by jan. But i highly doubt so as well, since the last time they cfm someone is like 2 yrs back. And unless i stumbled upon some numbing potion, its unimaginable to even think tt i will stay till then.

Sigh. But i am trying my best u noe. I gave my best le. It took me alot of strength to tahan tis 3 mths u noe.

My prev company wanted me back, but its hard for me to retn u noe. But tts even harder to start everything all over again. And seriously i haf no idea wat to look for or rather i haf lost the confidence in looking for another one, fearing all the jobs would end up like the ones ive had for the past yrs again.

I of coz understand tt jobs r jobs, most of the time, they r fucked up and we had to endure it and we at the end of the day still haf to earn a living, especially when we all haf so much commitmts.

But if i forever think tis way, and stick to watever shit im facing. I will nv be able to break away fr tis.

Though i haf no idea how much time ive left in tis world, but i noe i shdnt jus stop here. At least its still easier for me to continue searching in hope of finding where i wan to go then to do it 10 yrs later.

I wan to leave le. But i mus tahan. Must ren till jan... But if i can ren till next jan i might as well cross my confirmation right, or wait till they fire me (fire u = ask u to leave = no compensatn btw).

I very scared to go work tmr... I haf 1 big shitty case, caused by one dumb counter staff who screwed tis cust. And now i got to clear tt stupid girl's shit. I hope she gets wat she deserved. Coz i am so going to complain abt her after hopefully i managed to resolve e case tmr.

I haf 2 small shit cases to follow up also.

Sian sian sian sian...

Oh and i am kinda broke until the next pay which is 4 weeks away. Urgh.

See how lor, maybe for next 2 weeks or so, i go supermarket buy bread and make sandwich everyday to eat.

And i shall not go drinking nor eat at fancy restaurants. But see how lah. Lol.

I plan to come back straight after work for next 2 weeks, to save money and eat maggie mee. But 1st i would need to go and buy maggie mee 1st... Lol.

But if i dun go out haf fun hor, i would feel even worst lor. Hmmmmmmmmm...

Ok lah, i blog another time le. Soon, i hope.