It is damn frustrating, whereby during new yr hols, early in e morning, somebody called and woke u up... And then engaged in tis irritating conversation and e somebody ended up screaming to get his "wrong" pt across wif a demeaning, condescending tone of speech...
Damn, after he shouted, i shouted back, "HE..." And then i thot wtf, waste my time to even try to get my obvious right reasons across since he never ever listen to me anyways, coz he always think he is the greatest, he is always right and tt he is more superior than anyone in sg... I didnt finish my sentence after my 1st word, n mumbled out e "waste my time", and i jus hung up my phone... At times like tis, i would prefer my hp to be clam shell, so tt i can hear e slamming of the phone... Lol...
Then i couldnt get back to sleep... Coz i was so pissed... Leaving the "not appreciating my effort to help" aside, i certainly do not like ppl to spoil my mood early in e day, and somemore its lunar new yr...
He didnt call back until jus now, but i didnt pick up... Not worth my time bickering, besides, its lunar new yr, i dun like to quarrel... In fact, i never do, any part of any day... I hate ppl who shout, who scream... I do get angry, but i usually dun throw temper or shout unless e person is so unreasonable beyond reckoning, when e person begins screaming, watever u say in normal tone will be like mute to e person, so at times like these i would scream back... But rarely, coz to be fair, ultimate unreasonable scums are not so frequently met...
Further more, guys will never remember e quarrels anyway, they would jus move on wif it like nothing happened... Whereby i would get so upset over it...
I also hate e fact tt, ppl shout at me to vent their anger... Dun try to be nice and tell me things like, he/she is just stressed, dun blame him/her! If this theory stands valid, imagine wat e world will becum... Stress means i can shout at ppl arh? Havin probs give me rights to scold ppl arh? Bullshit mah! Wat e hell is wrong wif ppl who say tis is OK!
I mean sometimes when i am really down, i do get harsh in my tone, but then when i do, i will apologise to e person sincerely... But for those who purposely vent their anger on u, u think how many will apologise?
I smsed sz some time after, and she said, next time dun pick up his call liao...
Sigh, all i noe is, i am never gonna help him again...
I never learn my lesson, i had it at me so many times in the past, and yet every time i still choose to help... Sigh... I guess tts me... I jus cant turn cold hearted and jus ignore ppl like tt...
Maybe tts y many say i deserves e frustration, coz i shd haf known better... Maybe tts y they always say i am stupid!
Sometimes i really thot tt, if i continue to put in the effort, irregardless of how e person treats me, maybe somehow, eventually e person will understand n appreciate my efforts... I even naively thot tt if u can show goodness (from e bottom of ur heart) to a bad person, overtime, e person would be touched and change for the better...
But then, of coz, i learned the hard way tt it doesnt work... Ppl jus dun change... Even e closest person to u can misunderstand after so many yrs, even e closest person dun see wat u haf done... Which is y, at the end of e road, ppl always say, "The person u love e most will be the one who can hurt u the most"...
Which explains pretty much y i always get hurt... Becoz be it family, frenz, or relationships, i would just give it all... I eventually grew up and realised my theories are too idealistic, it almost doesnt exist in tis practical world anymore...
U see once very very close poly mates, can just automatically stop the frendship once both graduated... I used to think tt it was real, but of coz, ppl nowadays treat each other according to circumstances...
Such ppl would always ask me, "Wat more do u wan?"... Frenz are lidat wat, bfs are lidat wat, family is jus a term wat...
I haf 2 frenz, the guy knoe e girl for some time, but they only meet up wif each other like once in every few mths, and its grp outings somemore...
Apparently, they dun even noe each other... The guy doesnt even remember most of the things about e gal, and every time when they meet up, he would ask her over n over again, wat she was studying, wat she wan to do after grad etc...
And then one fine day, the guy asked if e girl wans to be his gf all of a sudden... Which of coz shocked e hell out of e girl, who thot they werent even normal frenz to start wif... They were like jus ppl who meet every few mths, for a ktv or something...
So e girl said something along e line like, "We need to noe each other better 1st"
To which e guy actually replied, "To me, tis is as far as u can go for frenz, anything beyond will be e next level (relationship)."
???????!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
U do not even noe wat she was studying, wat she has been doing, u dun even noe her emotionally, personally, u dun even noe wat she likes to do, wat she likes to eat, where she goes, all he knew very well is tt, shes is alive and she looks like tt...
Basically a person who doesnt noe a single thing about another person... The kind tt u occassionally bumped into and say, "Hey, wanna go for a movie or ktv tmr, i am free?"... The trip usually ends after e dinner of e trip and then the next time u meet up will be like few mths later...
If tis is e standard tt ppl judge for friendships, if knowing nuts about a person is as far as a friendship can go... I really shudder to think how superficial ppl haf becum nowadays...
Then again, wat am i saying... Since nowadays e trend even for relationships are such tt, u can meet up and felt comfortable enuff and then get together, jus meeting once or within a few days... And since relationships are deemed by ppl more superior, wat am i even saying about frenship...
To them, it is logical to noe nuts about ur frenz, u dun haf to, coz if u put in effort to noe someone, means its e next level liao... Frenz r lidat wat... No meh? Tts y they always say theres no such things as best frenz, close frenz... Only clubbing buddies, drinking buddies, ktv buddies, movie khakis, those activities which u dun even need to tok much... Lol... And those activities takes place once every 3/4 mths...
Maybe bitch about their work, studies, lecturers, colleagues, frenz, parents, siblings...
Wow, wat a bunch of interesting, true frenships...
I knoe alot of ppl, and sometimes they would tell me they haf their best frenz... So when i asked wat their best friend's doing, they replied, "Hmm, not sure leh.", then i will say, "Ok, so when was e last time both of u met up?", "Oh, not long ago, about half a yr lor!", "!!!!!!!!!", "Aiyah, we both bz mah!"...
O ____ O
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Rms For Rental
A master bedroom and room (4 Rm Flat) for rental at Yishun. Landlord is male, alone. Master rm comes wif attached toilet (heater), tv cable, private line to be activated at ur wish... Of coz, u can choose to rent one or both rooms...
Anyone who noes anyone who r looking for rented rooms, pls kindly let me noe...
Thks!!!
No need liao... I am not helping e person anymore.
-----------------------
I watched moon child again... Urrgghh, HYDE, Gackt!!! Depressing, depressing... But i didnt cry over e movie though, not becoz i watched 2nd time (ending 3rd time) liao, i dun remember crying e 1st time...
But i knew its very depressing... So sad... *sob* Everybody died in the show... Sigh... Of coz, HYDE & Gackt last 2 to die... Sigh, sad sad...
Today when i was at Yishun, i saw tis huge bus vehicle, which was red in color... Very suspicious looking... I even thot it was a donation drive bus... Lol... And then it belongs to the special police force (those against terrorists), who were carrying huge guns patrolling in the central area...
It was kinda funny seeing them in a neighbourhood, somemore they were laughing, chatting so loud while patrolling, i bet they were enjoying themselves... o_o"
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Counter Missing
My inuyasha counter had been gone for weeks... Apparently the old site operator died (though 2 yrs ago it stated), and they are repairing them now...
I think wat happened is tt they tried to be funny and do changes and then screw up the whole system... They said its hard to understand the program... And they dun haf e notes and cant check wif e deceased anymore... Obviously!
I had to reregister, coz somehow my old ID etc is missing, and i had no idea wat they r anyways... But then the new ones i dun really like their counters and even though i saw the old inuyasha one, i jus decided to change...
Now it becum so not user frendly, i dun even understand a single instruction they said...
Nvm i'll jus leave it... And the site more or less in Korean somemore... Which is worst, i dun understand e viewing of statistics... It used to be so straight forward, now i got to log in and duno go where to see the breakdown... Wat crap!
Everything is jus so wrong about it... The numbers everything is so wrong, and even the timing is wroong... Urrgghhh... I think its a diff of 1 hr difference...
The pinky kid is jus a total clash to my site, and doesnt even suit me, then again, it doesnt really matter... I chose it randomly... Went thru their stocks but cant find one i like, so hack lah...
I think wat happened is tt they tried to be funny and do changes and then screw up the whole system... They said its hard to understand the program... And they dun haf e notes and cant check wif e deceased anymore... Obviously!
I had to reregister, coz somehow my old ID etc is missing, and i had no idea wat they r anyways... But then the new ones i dun really like their counters and even though i saw the old inuyasha one, i jus decided to change...
Now it becum so not user frendly, i dun even understand a single instruction they said...
Nvm i'll jus leave it... And the site more or less in Korean somemore... Which is worst, i dun understand e viewing of statistics... It used to be so straight forward, now i got to log in and duno go where to see the breakdown... Wat crap!
Everything is jus so wrong about it... The numbers everything is so wrong, and even the timing is wroong... Urrgghhh... I think its a diff of 1 hr difference...
The pinky kid is jus a total clash to my site, and doesnt even suit me, then again, it doesnt really matter... I chose it randomly... Went thru their stocks but cant find one i like, so hack lah...
Afterlife
Hope u guys (e chinese) had enjoyed ur reunion dinner last night... I guess today mus be busy visiting relatives ya? Tmr i'll be paying visit to my Dad...
Anyways, regarding my 2nd dream... I'll jus keep it short coz i cant really remember... I dreamt of who u guess?
Guess
I dreamt of HYDE leh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually i also dreamt of Gackt, jus tt he played too insignificant a role in my dream, i haf no idea y... Now i wan him to come back my dream also cannot liao... Hhahahaa...
I used to cannot really figure out which one i like more... Coz theres something about e 2 tt i jus love so much... So i thot my dream sort of decided on tt... Hahahaha...
Anyways, i dreamt tt i died (how i cannot remember), so i went into tis afterlife world... Afterlife world is more or less like our current world, but the environment was different... It was a very whitish environment, u r sort of always in tis white building, there is no sky, sea, trees, grass or watever... Most of the spirits are in white, but those who jus died are usually in their own clothes...
So i had no idea wat to do, so i jus walked n walked ard the building which had numerous unlimted doors n corners that u can jus explore infinately...
Then while i was making a sharp turn, i bumped into GACKT!!!
But then he looked kinda weird in my dream... So i didnt pay much attention to him... He told me i can go over that place which looked like a small stage and a small audience seating area... Then i bid him farewell... Sobs, then he disappeared liao...
Hmm, i am very sure e next time i see him in my dreams, it would be right tis time... Lol...
And then i happen to sit at the 1st row, and then i saw some of my frenz, or rather the 2 guys beside me, left n right, i knoe them... I did not noe whether to feel happy or sad, coz they died too...
And then i saw tis guy, wif his guitar... Standing in front of me on e stage, of coz, its HYDE SAMA!!! Muahahahahah... I was so shocked when i saw him... He was in his Stay Away Image, the layered shoulded length black hair tt i used to like alot when i was in my teens... And then he just started singing and melted my soul right away...
I forgot wat he sang though, but didnt sound japanese to me... Muahahahah... Then i was so excited, i kept telling e guys beside me how much i love him... Lol...
And then, (aiyah, say liao i also paiseh) halfway thru his songs, he came over and held my hand, looked into my eyes, and sang ever so lovingly... I almost died again, or rather died in my dreams... I was so sure my heart stopped for a moment in real life...
And then his so called concert ended...
He actually came over to tok to me... It turns out tt he actually knoes me for a long time, jus tt i had never noticed etc... He also said he wans to be wif me, but he cant... Something like tt... Hahahah... *blushes*
Anyways, i am not e kind tt will swoon to him, anyways, i left him and went away...
Actually e dream's main thingy is me, not Hyde... Lol...
So there was more going on, like i cannot remember how i died, e whole thing was jus too strange, so i left to find out more...
Then i came to tis place, where e spirits are trapped in this long spiral area, i found out all these spirits had died prematurely, and should not be here at all... However, there was a conspiracy going on (which i cant recall wat), tt makes use of us spirits for their own benefits tt kind... There was something big going on...
Spirits who died prematurely would appear red in tt place... And then i realised i am one of them too... I cant let the bad guys continue their wrong doings... So i investigated, struggled, fought, and managed to reveal their secrets...
I got to noe a spirit who was a dashing chap as well... He helped me and we both went thru the shit together...
And then i managed to open the gate of life... And at tis instance, whoever passes thru it will be able to regain back their life n body... So both of us hurried as many of e innocent spirits as we can...
But at tis instance i found out a conspiracy tt they were actually making use of Hyde and were actually going to kill him at the end of it...
The gate of life wasnt going to hold out any longer... The guy grabbed my hand and wanted to pull me thru... But i stopped him...
I told him i wanted to go back and save Hyde... lOL...
Then there was tis evil voice over tt said, "If u escape now, u would be able to regain ur life! But if u turn back, we will make sure we hunt u down and kill both u n Hyde!"... I think once the gate opened, it would not be able to close for some time... So they cant do anything about it, even though they had been trying to stop me n tt guy...
I couldnt think anymore, i jus ran n ran... I did not noe whether did tt guy go thru e gate or not... I jus ran n ran, it was such a long run... I finally found Hyde, and i told him e truth... I told him he needed to leave and i knoe e way...
And then stupidly, my dream ended...
DAMN!!! I dun even noe e ending...
After i got up, i suddenly got into tis crazy cant get enuff of Gackt & Hyde mood... So i kept watching their videos online... Lol... But now e feelin more or less died down liao...
Yest i again dreamt of a person i used to noe when i was a child... And again i told him so many things tt i always wanted to say in real life... But i do not haf e chance anymore unless we r so fated... Its sort of heart wrenching every time i dreamt of him...
Sigh, coz i really really haf alot of things to say to him lor...
But nvm lah, if its meant to be its meant to be...
Anyways, regarding my 2nd dream... I'll jus keep it short coz i cant really remember... I dreamt of who u guess?
Guess
I dreamt of HYDE leh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde Hyde!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually i also dreamt of Gackt, jus tt he played too insignificant a role in my dream, i haf no idea y... Now i wan him to come back my dream also cannot liao... Hhahahaa...
I used to cannot really figure out which one i like more... Coz theres something about e 2 tt i jus love so much... So i thot my dream sort of decided on tt... Hahahaha...
Anyways, i dreamt tt i died (how i cannot remember), so i went into tis afterlife world... Afterlife world is more or less like our current world, but the environment was different... It was a very whitish environment, u r sort of always in tis white building, there is no sky, sea, trees, grass or watever... Most of the spirits are in white, but those who jus died are usually in their own clothes...
So i had no idea wat to do, so i jus walked n walked ard the building which had numerous unlimted doors n corners that u can jus explore infinately...
Then while i was making a sharp turn, i bumped into GACKT!!!
But then he looked kinda weird in my dream... So i didnt pay much attention to him... He told me i can go over that place which looked like a small stage and a small audience seating area... Then i bid him farewell... Sobs, then he disappeared liao...
Hmm, i am very sure e next time i see him in my dreams, it would be right tis time... Lol...
And then i happen to sit at the 1st row, and then i saw some of my frenz, or rather the 2 guys beside me, left n right, i knoe them... I did not noe whether to feel happy or sad, coz they died too...
And then i saw tis guy, wif his guitar... Standing in front of me on e stage, of coz, its HYDE SAMA!!! Muahahahahah... I was so shocked when i saw him... He was in his Stay Away Image, the layered shoulded length black hair tt i used to like alot when i was in my teens... And then he just started singing and melted my soul right away...
I forgot wat he sang though, but didnt sound japanese to me... Muahahahah... Then i was so excited, i kept telling e guys beside me how much i love him... Lol...
And then, (aiyah, say liao i also paiseh) halfway thru his songs, he came over and held my hand, looked into my eyes, and sang ever so lovingly... I almost died again, or rather died in my dreams... I was so sure my heart stopped for a moment in real life...
And then his so called concert ended...
He actually came over to tok to me... It turns out tt he actually knoes me for a long time, jus tt i had never noticed etc... He also said he wans to be wif me, but he cant... Something like tt... Hahahah... *blushes*
Anyways, i am not e kind tt will swoon to him, anyways, i left him and went away...
Actually e dream's main thingy is me, not Hyde... Lol...
So there was more going on, like i cannot remember how i died, e whole thing was jus too strange, so i left to find out more...
Then i came to tis place, where e spirits are trapped in this long spiral area, i found out all these spirits had died prematurely, and should not be here at all... However, there was a conspiracy going on (which i cant recall wat), tt makes use of us spirits for their own benefits tt kind... There was something big going on...
Spirits who died prematurely would appear red in tt place... And then i realised i am one of them too... I cant let the bad guys continue their wrong doings... So i investigated, struggled, fought, and managed to reveal their secrets...
I got to noe a spirit who was a dashing chap as well... He helped me and we both went thru the shit together...
And then i managed to open the gate of life... And at tis instance, whoever passes thru it will be able to regain back their life n body... So both of us hurried as many of e innocent spirits as we can...
But at tis instance i found out a conspiracy tt they were actually making use of Hyde and were actually going to kill him at the end of it...
The gate of life wasnt going to hold out any longer... The guy grabbed my hand and wanted to pull me thru... But i stopped him...
I told him i wanted to go back and save Hyde... lOL...
Then there was tis evil voice over tt said, "If u escape now, u would be able to regain ur life! But if u turn back, we will make sure we hunt u down and kill both u n Hyde!"... I think once the gate opened, it would not be able to close for some time... So they cant do anything about it, even though they had been trying to stop me n tt guy...
I couldnt think anymore, i jus ran n ran... I did not noe whether did tt guy go thru e gate or not... I jus ran n ran, it was such a long run... I finally found Hyde, and i told him e truth... I told him he needed to leave and i knoe e way...
And then stupidly, my dream ended...
DAMN!!! I dun even noe e ending...
After i got up, i suddenly got into tis crazy cant get enuff of Gackt & Hyde mood... So i kept watching their videos online... Lol... But now e feelin more or less died down liao...
Yest i again dreamt of a person i used to noe when i was a child... And again i told him so many things tt i always wanted to say in real life... But i do not haf e chance anymore unless we r so fated... Its sort of heart wrenching every time i dreamt of him...
Sigh, coz i really really haf alot of things to say to him lor...
But nvm lah, if its meant to be its meant to be...
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Happy Lunar New Yr
No matter wat happens, i still wan to wish all of u
Happy Lunar New Yr & Happy Hols for the other races...
Hope u haf a great time enjoying urself during e break... Be it during e reunion dinner, family gatherings, visitings, shopping, etc...
Just make sure u haf a great time, otherwise, its ptless to haf e hols eh? Haf a gd celebration...
PS: Try not to comment on my personal entries, coz most of e time i try not to think about it after i write something, its like an avenue of destress or vent of frustration, noe wat i mean? Its over once i am done... And i will feel less intense as the words described after i am over it. Unless of coz, u haf something sweet and constructive to say... Lol..
Anyways, my next entry on e 2nd dream will be up soon, most prob tonight...
Happy Lunar New Yr & Happy Hols for the other races...
Hope u haf a great time enjoying urself during e break... Be it during e reunion dinner, family gatherings, visitings, shopping, etc...
Just make sure u haf a great time, otherwise, its ptless to haf e hols eh? Haf a gd celebration...
PS: Try not to comment on my personal entries, coz most of e time i try not to think about it after i write something, its like an avenue of destress or vent of frustration, noe wat i mean? Its over once i am done... And i will feel less intense as the words described after i am over it. Unless of coz, u haf something sweet and constructive to say... Lol..
Anyways, my next entry on e 2nd dream will be up soon, most prob tonight...
The Show Must Go On
Tis is a very wrong entry... It would be better if u dun read it... Coz its about my family and most r sensitive to ppl toking about their families anyway... Otherwise i would be labelled immature, inconsiderate, unfillial, etc...
I would love to tell u i haf a wonderful, loving mother who takes care of me, and supports me all the way... I would love to tell u tt although my parents had divorced, but my mum had done a great deal to bring us up...
I would love to tell u my mum brought us up thru hard work, wif her bear hands...
I deluded myself thinkin i am very fortunate coz there are many ppl worst off... And tat no matter wat happens, we are still bounded by blood, flesh and watever...
Therefore i do not resign to fate, and think tt tis is e end...
But some times, u jus cant fool urself... It doesnt make me any happier...
My mum woke me up today... She was complaining, nagging, grumbling... I knew it, every time she do something, she will becum so god damn grouchy, like e whole world owe her...
Every lunar new yr eve, she will prepare steamboat for the reunion dinner...
Then, for the whole week, she will complain n complain n complain... Complain alot of things to do lah, alot of things to buy lah, no money lah, food cost so much lah, mus clean house lah, tis n tt... And for me every yr, i would haf to tolerate n listen to her...
I am the only one she complained to, coz other than me, nobody bothered to tok to her... And yet, she is always toking bad about me, saying tt i am unfilial, tis n tt...
My family never gave thot y i still chose to remain here, they never gave thot tt they abandoned me when i was 13 yrs old, she abuses me till i bleed whenever she feels like it, cheat my money whenever she feels like it, and when i was 14, told me to drop my education, go M'sia and becum a prostitute to support her, coz her man had left her...
She stopped supporting my education since secondary 2... I had to rely on my own means to pull off thru poly since then... I had to find alternatives to financial avenues to pull thru all tt...
At one pt i was seriously considering marrying off to a guy who was 11 yrs older than me... I was thinkin it would be so much better than to continue living here... At least, it would haf ensured me tt i would be able to go to university... Or at least wat the guy promised...
But of coz, tat was another story, i didnt of coz... Coz we didnt work out...
I am not expecting anyone to be sympathetic, or to even comprehend wat i had gone thru... Coz i truly believed ppl who haf not gone thru e similar shit will never get it... TO them, all things will always work out, nothing cant be solved, all u need to do is to communicate, etc, all tt crap...
Shes a housewife, but she doesnt clean her house... Coz she grew up in a kampong in m'sia, and shes used to live in undesirable conditions...
I woke up, i vacuumed my house, i clean my dog's toilet tray, etc... Then i tried to make some bread for lunch, i knew she was in terrible mood, so i tried to tok to her, and she bit my sentence every time and throw in her temper...
Then i left her alone, and ate my lunch quickly... Then i went to hide in my room, coz i do not wish to provoke her...
Then my sis came back and wan to sleep... I was watching videos, so i had to go to living rm instead... Jus as i wan to watch tv, she asked me to help her...
So i did, she wanted me to prepare some things, but i had no idea where she kept those things coz her kitchen is so messy and shes e only one who knoes where she kept them coz she does tt every yr... So i had to ask her every time...
Then i asked her, "Done liao right?", and she replied yah... But jus as i was about to walk out, she screamed at me and said, "spoons leh? plates leh?" etc... Then she started saying i whole day never help wan to throw temper, then we quarelled...
Its like "Hello, u never even help during spring cleanin i also never scold u lor... jus becoz u r my mother, i do not provoke u, and becoz i am ur daughter, u haf e right to throw ur temper on me arh, coz ur other children cant be bothered wif u!" I of coz didnt say tis, it was on my mind, if i said it, she would either hit me till i bleed, or cry and threaten to leave home...
She always tell me, its either me or her in e house whenever we quarrel... Of coz, her wish will be granted some day...
And now i hide in my rm, not knowing wat to do... While her disgusting bf is watching tv outside...
How would u feel if ur mum tells u almost every week tt, "It is becoz of u, i got to sleep wif a guy tt i hate so much, jus coz u didnt wan to quit ur educ and work to support me!"...
According to her, it is becoz of me, coz she cooked dinner for me... I ate every bit of the rice wif sin...
Also, my sis who told her she was pampering me and spoiling me, and thus i am lazy and do not wan to work... She told my mum tt she shd stop cooking for me, and when all my money runs out, i would be desperate...
Tis is the real reason y i cook my own food... But of coz, i couldnt coz i would be burdened wif e sin of using their electricity, etc...
I am jus a outsider, unless i bring in alot of money to pay for their housing, electricity/water/gas bills... Then i can stay happily... If not, i jus haf to watch my every step...
It is very tough... I weep thinking of all these...
I hear things like other mums' cooking breakfast for their children, making sure they eat enuff fruits n tonics, taking care of their daily neccessities, asking them home to eat dinner, even though their children are all capable working adults...
And i am like, so envious and also so sick of my life at the same time...
It is not easy... Sz always tell me to not give up, i will haf my own life soon, someday...
Of coz, i can always choose to move out, but the thing is i stayed coz i felt its a responsibilty, coz nobody takes care of the house n my mum...
Jus tt i cant help feeling foolish...
Living is not easy... Living my life is worst... Which is y sometimes i jus felt there is no pt anymore... Tt i shd jus give up...
I tell myself i shd jus carry on, no matter how unhappy or how miserable i am... Coz i am believing there will be a turning pt... And some tell me, of coz not meant to be rude, tt my mum eventually will leave someday, and my life will becum better...
It is jus so gd for ppl who do not haf any burdens of financial, family, issues... I am always envious of carefree ppl...
There is no pt toking about it, coz i noe nothing helps... I had mentioned it so many times, how much it hurts for me to confide in ppl and get replies like, "i cant help u"... I knoe u cant help, but it hurts to hear tt... It makes e whole issue even harder to accept n carry on...
Like i said before, i hate those who tell me, "only u can help urself, i cannot help u" "u got to solve ur own prob" etc... Selfish! I haf never said these words to anyone... Coz by simply listening, being wif e person, cheering e person up, accompanying e person, i gurantee u tt if u can jus make these extra simple minute efforts, e person will feel so much better...
U will feel tt at least there is someone there for u... And life isnt as empty as u thot...
It gives more reason for e person to continue than anything else...
But then again, most ppl always say they r afraid, coz if they say something like they r there for spiritual support, they are scared tt they cannot live up to expectations, or they felt tt e person will always cum to them whenever small things (to them) comes up, and they wouldnt be able to stand it...
Well then, dun, coz u r e ones who bring hell to these ppl anyways...
It is true tt most of the times, e person will haf to depend on oneself to stand up, coz it is their own issue... But if u r a sincere fren, u wouldnt say all tt... U r jus being supercial, and it clearly shows u dun even empathise wif ppl, u dun even understand ppl at all... U dun jus find out a prob of ur fren, then tell ur fren tt u cannot help him/her, and then leave it to entirely to them and hack care and move on wif ur own life...
But ppl do tt... U will be surprised how many of these selfish selfcentered idiots are ard... And how seemingly gd or popular they becum...
Life isnt fair balance in e 1st place...
It is disgusting to me tt, i got to pretend nothing happens during e dinner later... I got to be happy, and enjoy e food, etc... Sigh...
But i haf no choice... I jus got to act tt show... I cant make others unhappy can i? I cant haf a black or sad face and show my other family members tt can i?
The show must go on...
I would love to tell u i haf a wonderful, loving mother who takes care of me, and supports me all the way... I would love to tell u tt although my parents had divorced, but my mum had done a great deal to bring us up...
I would love to tell u my mum brought us up thru hard work, wif her bear hands...
I deluded myself thinkin i am very fortunate coz there are many ppl worst off... And tat no matter wat happens, we are still bounded by blood, flesh and watever...
Therefore i do not resign to fate, and think tt tis is e end...
But some times, u jus cant fool urself... It doesnt make me any happier...
My mum woke me up today... She was complaining, nagging, grumbling... I knew it, every time she do something, she will becum so god damn grouchy, like e whole world owe her...
Every lunar new yr eve, she will prepare steamboat for the reunion dinner...
Then, for the whole week, she will complain n complain n complain... Complain alot of things to do lah, alot of things to buy lah, no money lah, food cost so much lah, mus clean house lah, tis n tt... And for me every yr, i would haf to tolerate n listen to her...
I am the only one she complained to, coz other than me, nobody bothered to tok to her... And yet, she is always toking bad about me, saying tt i am unfilial, tis n tt...
My family never gave thot y i still chose to remain here, they never gave thot tt they abandoned me when i was 13 yrs old, she abuses me till i bleed whenever she feels like it, cheat my money whenever she feels like it, and when i was 14, told me to drop my education, go M'sia and becum a prostitute to support her, coz her man had left her...
She stopped supporting my education since secondary 2... I had to rely on my own means to pull off thru poly since then... I had to find alternatives to financial avenues to pull thru all tt...
At one pt i was seriously considering marrying off to a guy who was 11 yrs older than me... I was thinkin it would be so much better than to continue living here... At least, it would haf ensured me tt i would be able to go to university... Or at least wat the guy promised...
But of coz, tat was another story, i didnt of coz... Coz we didnt work out...
I am not expecting anyone to be sympathetic, or to even comprehend wat i had gone thru... Coz i truly believed ppl who haf not gone thru e similar shit will never get it... TO them, all things will always work out, nothing cant be solved, all u need to do is to communicate, etc, all tt crap...
Shes a housewife, but she doesnt clean her house... Coz she grew up in a kampong in m'sia, and shes used to live in undesirable conditions...
I woke up, i vacuumed my house, i clean my dog's toilet tray, etc... Then i tried to make some bread for lunch, i knew she was in terrible mood, so i tried to tok to her, and she bit my sentence every time and throw in her temper...
Then i left her alone, and ate my lunch quickly... Then i went to hide in my room, coz i do not wish to provoke her...
Then my sis came back and wan to sleep... I was watching videos, so i had to go to living rm instead... Jus as i wan to watch tv, she asked me to help her...
So i did, she wanted me to prepare some things, but i had no idea where she kept those things coz her kitchen is so messy and shes e only one who knoes where she kept them coz she does tt every yr... So i had to ask her every time...
Then i asked her, "Done liao right?", and she replied yah... But jus as i was about to walk out, she screamed at me and said, "spoons leh? plates leh?" etc... Then she started saying i whole day never help wan to throw temper, then we quarelled...
Its like "Hello, u never even help during spring cleanin i also never scold u lor... jus becoz u r my mother, i do not provoke u, and becoz i am ur daughter, u haf e right to throw ur temper on me arh, coz ur other children cant be bothered wif u!" I of coz didnt say tis, it was on my mind, if i said it, she would either hit me till i bleed, or cry and threaten to leave home...
She always tell me, its either me or her in e house whenever we quarrel... Of coz, her wish will be granted some day...
And now i hide in my rm, not knowing wat to do... While her disgusting bf is watching tv outside...
How would u feel if ur mum tells u almost every week tt, "It is becoz of u, i got to sleep wif a guy tt i hate so much, jus coz u didnt wan to quit ur educ and work to support me!"...
According to her, it is becoz of me, coz she cooked dinner for me... I ate every bit of the rice wif sin...
Also, my sis who told her she was pampering me and spoiling me, and thus i am lazy and do not wan to work... She told my mum tt she shd stop cooking for me, and when all my money runs out, i would be desperate...
Tis is the real reason y i cook my own food... But of coz, i couldnt coz i would be burdened wif e sin of using their electricity, etc...
I am jus a outsider, unless i bring in alot of money to pay for their housing, electricity/water/gas bills... Then i can stay happily... If not, i jus haf to watch my every step...
It is very tough... I weep thinking of all these...
I hear things like other mums' cooking breakfast for their children, making sure they eat enuff fruits n tonics, taking care of their daily neccessities, asking them home to eat dinner, even though their children are all capable working adults...
And i am like, so envious and also so sick of my life at the same time...
It is not easy... Sz always tell me to not give up, i will haf my own life soon, someday...
Of coz, i can always choose to move out, but the thing is i stayed coz i felt its a responsibilty, coz nobody takes care of the house n my mum...
Jus tt i cant help feeling foolish...
Living is not easy... Living my life is worst... Which is y sometimes i jus felt there is no pt anymore... Tt i shd jus give up...
I tell myself i shd jus carry on, no matter how unhappy or how miserable i am... Coz i am believing there will be a turning pt... And some tell me, of coz not meant to be rude, tt my mum eventually will leave someday, and my life will becum better...
It is jus so gd for ppl who do not haf any burdens of financial, family, issues... I am always envious of carefree ppl...
There is no pt toking about it, coz i noe nothing helps... I had mentioned it so many times, how much it hurts for me to confide in ppl and get replies like, "i cant help u"... I knoe u cant help, but it hurts to hear tt... It makes e whole issue even harder to accept n carry on...
Like i said before, i hate those who tell me, "only u can help urself, i cannot help u" "u got to solve ur own prob" etc... Selfish! I haf never said these words to anyone... Coz by simply listening, being wif e person, cheering e person up, accompanying e person, i gurantee u tt if u can jus make these extra simple minute efforts, e person will feel so much better...
U will feel tt at least there is someone there for u... And life isnt as empty as u thot...
It gives more reason for e person to continue than anything else...
But then again, most ppl always say they r afraid, coz if they say something like they r there for spiritual support, they are scared tt they cannot live up to expectations, or they felt tt e person will always cum to them whenever small things (to them) comes up, and they wouldnt be able to stand it...
Well then, dun, coz u r e ones who bring hell to these ppl anyways...
It is true tt most of the times, e person will haf to depend on oneself to stand up, coz it is their own issue... But if u r a sincere fren, u wouldnt say all tt... U r jus being supercial, and it clearly shows u dun even empathise wif ppl, u dun even understand ppl at all... U dun jus find out a prob of ur fren, then tell ur fren tt u cannot help him/her, and then leave it to entirely to them and hack care and move on wif ur own life...
But ppl do tt... U will be surprised how many of these selfish selfcentered idiots are ard... And how seemingly gd or popular they becum...
Life isnt fair balance in e 1st place...
It is disgusting to me tt, i got to pretend nothing happens during e dinner later... I got to be happy, and enjoy e food, etc... Sigh...
But i haf no choice... I jus got to act tt show... I cant make others unhappy can i? I cant haf a black or sad face and show my other family members tt can i?
The show must go on...
Friday, January 27, 2006
Can U Write In Ur Dreams?
I was actually comtemplating on whether to blog or not, coz i wanted to bath instead... But my lazy huge ass refused to budge from the bed and thus i thot my fingers shd do some exercising, lol...
I was reading some blogs and i actually laughed out loud, lol, hahahha, i didnt control myself... And then as expected, my mum said im crazy, laughing myself... She said tt every time, so i usually dun laugh out... I told her im reading some things, but she never get it...
I am not cooking tonight, coz my mum said yest tt she felt like eating fried bee hoon, but if i cooking myself then she wun cook it... Say until lidat liao, how to refuse right? Anyways, i also wan to eat her bee hoon, its very nice...
Anyways, haf u tried writing in ur dreams? For example, u haf to fill in ur particulars on a form in ur dream, can u do it exactly wifout fail?
It seems to me i can never do it... I had tried many times over e years, but i never managed to do it... Especially, recently, when i haf more time, and thus i can control my dreams better, so i tried to do it properly... But cannot leh...
Like jus e other day, i dreamt tt i was playing some huge rides or something, then after tt, e boss need me to fill up some particulars... I filled up some but when it comes to my mobile number... I jus cant complete the numbers... At one pt, i would forget my number and need Sz (she was beside me) to prompt... But i knew she got e last number wrongly, she said 249, so i said, cant be, its 248...
Then i tried to write it, i jus cant get e numbers right, i ended up writing 249 or something, then i got to do it all over... I was so impatient and e boss too... Lol...
It had occured many times whenever i dream... I jus cant write wat my mind wans to... And then i hate it, coz my dream will stuck there for hrs (dream time), and i will get frustrated coz its wasting my time for the story... I wan it to get over n done wif, but its always stuck there... I had to put in so much effort to either wake up to change my dream, or give up e writing in the dream, which i seldom do... Coz i am also stubborn in my dream, and its a task somemore...
I had 2 quite interesting dreams tis week, i couldnt remember these 2 days ones though...
1st one was tt, i dreamt tt i was in a military base, (think its due to full metal), i was a colonel or something, then it set in a huge place, where i think we are at war or some operation where e world is basically military based... For my country, we haf like Base Camp 1, 2, 3, etc... I was in charge of the Base 1, and we travel by train in order to get to the next base...
Base 1 was basically guarding the border, so we had a huge gate, and i forever carry a walkie talkie wif me... I dun really remember the details, anyways, theres tis huge gooey dripping monster, which invaded my camp... The thing is, the monster gives off tis smoke or gas tt turns anyone a zombie... So no one can get near it...
The monster was able to control ones mind too... He had a traitor from the military (a big shot), which led the monster in to my camp... Its intentions was of coz, to kill all of us in our country, or rather change all of us into walking dead zombies...
So as colonel, i haf to stop them... But i was helpless too, as i see one by one, all my man turn into zombies, trying to kill me too... But somehow their ultimate target was me... Typical! So i boarded the train, and tried to contact the next base, so as to stop the spreading...
But of coz, e monster got in e train wif me, and i had to be as far away as possible, then e fatest way was to contact my technical agent, to spread e message across e whole military base, but wif evidence... So i needed to meet up wif tt technical agent who happened to be a female...
She was on another train... Due to some battle wif e monster, my train was off course and it collided wif her train, and we nearly died... We were severely injured and almost crashed the computer control room...
Cut things short, anyways, somehow it was impossible to send out e message, and so we ended up running... E monster was bent on killing us now... My pt of view from meeting up wif her, kept switching between her n e colonel (whos a man btw)...
It was a lot struggle... Alot of ppl i noe died... And i saw one man desperately helping me, and then i saw his exposed brain, and knew he became a zombie, and hes fighting against the virus inside him wif his will power... I wept when i saw tt... It was so touching...
He sacrificed of coz... *sob*
I managed to escape from e bloody monster wif e colonel, i became e gal permanently there after... We went to a staircase and went upstairs... The higher we climed, we saw all these eggs along the way, and knew they were e eggs of the monster... Somewat... We then discovered accidentally tt the eggs will melt away when we spray water on them... So we destroyed the eggs somehow, and e huge monster realised where we were and came to save her eggs and also to kill us...
And then we were pinned to e highest level wif no where to run... There was tis emergency water hose thingy... The monster was so near us, so we jus ended up sprayin the monster... It was life or death, we couldnt think of how to escape... In fact, i didnt think e monster would die do easily and thus i knew we are goin to die..
I hate dreams when i die in e end, its hurts...
Jus at tis moment, i think my brain (in real life) went dried... It doesnt noe how to continue the dream, so my brain woke me up... Lol, as if to tell me, "Hey Gal, duno how to continue liao lah! E dream so long liao, next time keep e dream short n simple leh!".. Hahahaha...
I thot it was bloody funny, coz i seriously felt my brain reaching a standstill... Hahahah... Coz i noe if i can still continue e dream, it will go on, coz i dun wake up due to nothing... But my brain had to wake me up, if not e frame will jus freeze there... Lol... So i thot...
But it was a gd adventure n action... There were alot of things involved... Like helicopters, guns, etc... Cool...
Jus last week, i dreamt tt i was overseas, then i bumped into 2 old pri frenz, Yong wei and Nelson... Duno y also... And then i knew it, later in e evening, Yong wei actually smsed me, asking me out for clubbing... Yongwei seldom or rarely contact me... It can be like once in few yrs tt kind... Lol...
Its very funny one lor, every time i dream of someone whom ive not contact or met for a long long time, i will be like bound to meet or contact in real life...
E entry's getting long, i will continue my nxt dream in e next entry... Go bath then eat e beehoon... Or shall i eat 1st? Lol... I think eat 1st...
I was reading some blogs and i actually laughed out loud, lol, hahahha, i didnt control myself... And then as expected, my mum said im crazy, laughing myself... She said tt every time, so i usually dun laugh out... I told her im reading some things, but she never get it...
I am not cooking tonight, coz my mum said yest tt she felt like eating fried bee hoon, but if i cooking myself then she wun cook it... Say until lidat liao, how to refuse right? Anyways, i also wan to eat her bee hoon, its very nice...
Anyways, haf u tried writing in ur dreams? For example, u haf to fill in ur particulars on a form in ur dream, can u do it exactly wifout fail?
It seems to me i can never do it... I had tried many times over e years, but i never managed to do it... Especially, recently, when i haf more time, and thus i can control my dreams better, so i tried to do it properly... But cannot leh...
Like jus e other day, i dreamt tt i was playing some huge rides or something, then after tt, e boss need me to fill up some particulars... I filled up some but when it comes to my mobile number... I jus cant complete the numbers... At one pt, i would forget my number and need Sz (she was beside me) to prompt... But i knew she got e last number wrongly, she said 249, so i said, cant be, its 248...
Then i tried to write it, i jus cant get e numbers right, i ended up writing 249 or something, then i got to do it all over... I was so impatient and e boss too... Lol...
It had occured many times whenever i dream... I jus cant write wat my mind wans to... And then i hate it, coz my dream will stuck there for hrs (dream time), and i will get frustrated coz its wasting my time for the story... I wan it to get over n done wif, but its always stuck there... I had to put in so much effort to either wake up to change my dream, or give up e writing in the dream, which i seldom do... Coz i am also stubborn in my dream, and its a task somemore...
I had 2 quite interesting dreams tis week, i couldnt remember these 2 days ones though...
1st one was tt, i dreamt tt i was in a military base, (think its due to full metal), i was a colonel or something, then it set in a huge place, where i think we are at war or some operation where e world is basically military based... For my country, we haf like Base Camp 1, 2, 3, etc... I was in charge of the Base 1, and we travel by train in order to get to the next base...
Base 1 was basically guarding the border, so we had a huge gate, and i forever carry a walkie talkie wif me... I dun really remember the details, anyways, theres tis huge gooey dripping monster, which invaded my camp... The thing is, the monster gives off tis smoke or gas tt turns anyone a zombie... So no one can get near it...
The monster was able to control ones mind too... He had a traitor from the military (a big shot), which led the monster in to my camp... Its intentions was of coz, to kill all of us in our country, or rather change all of us into walking dead zombies...
So as colonel, i haf to stop them... But i was helpless too, as i see one by one, all my man turn into zombies, trying to kill me too... But somehow their ultimate target was me... Typical! So i boarded the train, and tried to contact the next base, so as to stop the spreading...
But of coz, e monster got in e train wif me, and i had to be as far away as possible, then e fatest way was to contact my technical agent, to spread e message across e whole military base, but wif evidence... So i needed to meet up wif tt technical agent who happened to be a female...
She was on another train... Due to some battle wif e monster, my train was off course and it collided wif her train, and we nearly died... We were severely injured and almost crashed the computer control room...
Cut things short, anyways, somehow it was impossible to send out e message, and so we ended up running... E monster was bent on killing us now... My pt of view from meeting up wif her, kept switching between her n e colonel (whos a man btw)...
It was a lot struggle... Alot of ppl i noe died... And i saw one man desperately helping me, and then i saw his exposed brain, and knew he became a zombie, and hes fighting against the virus inside him wif his will power... I wept when i saw tt... It was so touching...
He sacrificed of coz... *sob*
I managed to escape from e bloody monster wif e colonel, i became e gal permanently there after... We went to a staircase and went upstairs... The higher we climed, we saw all these eggs along the way, and knew they were e eggs of the monster... Somewat... We then discovered accidentally tt the eggs will melt away when we spray water on them... So we destroyed the eggs somehow, and e huge monster realised where we were and came to save her eggs and also to kill us...
And then we were pinned to e highest level wif no where to run... There was tis emergency water hose thingy... The monster was so near us, so we jus ended up sprayin the monster... It was life or death, we couldnt think of how to escape... In fact, i didnt think e monster would die do easily and thus i knew we are goin to die..
I hate dreams when i die in e end, its hurts...
Jus at tis moment, i think my brain (in real life) went dried... It doesnt noe how to continue the dream, so my brain woke me up... Lol, as if to tell me, "Hey Gal, duno how to continue liao lah! E dream so long liao, next time keep e dream short n simple leh!".. Hahahaha...
I thot it was bloody funny, coz i seriously felt my brain reaching a standstill... Hahahah... Coz i noe if i can still continue e dream, it will go on, coz i dun wake up due to nothing... But my brain had to wake me up, if not e frame will jus freeze there... Lol... So i thot...
But it was a gd adventure n action... There were alot of things involved... Like helicopters, guns, etc... Cool...
Jus last week, i dreamt tt i was overseas, then i bumped into 2 old pri frenz, Yong wei and Nelson... Duno y also... And then i knew it, later in e evening, Yong wei actually smsed me, asking me out for clubbing... Yongwei seldom or rarely contact me... It can be like once in few yrs tt kind... Lol...
Its very funny one lor, every time i dream of someone whom ive not contact or met for a long long time, i will be like bound to meet or contact in real life...
E entry's getting long, i will continue my nxt dream in e next entry... Go bath then eat e beehoon... Or shall i eat 1st? Lol... I think eat 1st...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Wat Can U Do For Money?
I didnt blog yest, due to something funny (which i will tell u later in e next entry) ... So i went to do other things instead... Lol...
If u read my archives... I posted a pic long time ago showing the inside of my wardrobe doors, pictures n pictures of myself, and of coz some frenz, my dogs, etc... I was so god damn happy about it...
However, i had to take everything down... Coz the bloody new 2nd hand wardrobe all sliding doors one!!! How to put lidat!!! Sigh...
I had to take down lots of tapes n blue tags... And then i accidentally tore a pic of me and SZ, and i tore a part of her away...
I do not like torn photos, coz i am superstitious on tis and felt tt its bad luck, much like broken mirror n crystals... To me, it would meant something like e relationship will turn bad or something (whoever is in e photo)... I used to not tear away pics of myself too, coz i felt i will be giving myself bad luck or misforutunate... (Yeah, some weird facts tt u noe about me now)... Until my mum usually pick up those photos, look at them, and criticises them...
So from then on i tear all unwanted pics of myself, but unwanted photos of me n others i still throw away as a whole... Coz i do not wan things to happen to them... Bad things happen to me all the time anyways, so i hack...
But then i like e photo tt i torn tis time, and i am not sure whether i can develop it again or not... So i scotch-taped it, hopin to mend the watever bad thing's tt may or may not happen between us...
But i am very sad, coz i got no place to put them anymore... If i place them inside the wardrobe, i cant see them coz they will be covered by my clothes... I dun even haf a place to put my 3 peacock feathers... Urgh... I still need to see see look look on tis, for now, those things are on my table in the living room... Which i believe very soon, someone will ask me to throw them away due to the untidiness...
Ok, enuff of the tidyin, i am so sick of it now... After my sis put her humongous double queen size mattresses in the rm for herself, theres no place to put my chair for the computer desk... So i am sitting on her bed, blogging... Her bed is huge, it only makes me feel tt my single mattress is so small, and my son is squeezing wif me...
Theres no place to walk or to sit, except on her huge bed or my small bed... My backaches haf gotten worst... My wardrobe has a huge gap when u close the door, so i had to chunk a piece of ugly cardboard at the door, so minimise the gap... So ugly... I missed my old wardrobe, but tis one is huge... I put alot alot of rubbish inside now...
During my spring cleaning, I actually thot of how nice it would be if i got a bf to help... Coz i was doing everything myself, including pushing in the heavy huge ass wardrobes, (yes i dragged, how to lift by myself?) I even had to do my sis one, coz she is workin and she said she got no time...
Then again, most guys are not strong anyways... And i used to haf bfs, like they helped? I told myself, nvm, mus depend on myself... Tis is nothing compared to painting the whole house then, and shifiting all the furnitures in the house, jus me n my sis... We did not even haf a place to sleep, i slept on her luggage bag, and her bf came and bought us food, and then left!!!
It was a horrible experience, maybe i'll tok about it someday...
Back to tt day, i moved the wardrobes n e heavy furnitures myself... My mum was complaining if its not CNY, she would haf fled... It was jus a small prob, i dun understand y she give up so easily when she doesnt even help...
It did not help wif her complaining, n grumbling e whole day... I was extremely helpless n frustrated till i ended up not toking at all at e end of e day...
I do not haf great strength or wat... But i noe theres something called endurance n will power... When she went to buy her meals, i immediately started moving the things, coz i noe i can do it when shes not ard, critising tis n tt...
When she came back, she was surprised... I jus told her, when u got the will power to do something, u can do it one...
I cannot carry heavy things, but i tell u arh, when u r helpless and u noe theres no one to help and u got to do it urself... U can do the craziest things over ur limits... Jus tt i suspected i hurt my backbone e other time (during e painting of house)... But i noe i can solve probs, myself... And not give up like her, when she need not even do anything in e 1st place... During e painting, she did ran away... And of coz, her bf didnt come back during tt period...
So when i see girls, acting all weak n wimpy, complaining the bag too heavy or something, i will roll my eyeballs... Rubbish one lah... Can carry one lah, u can even break ur limit, jus tt, most of e time, e heaviness isnt even near ur limit...
Weak or not doesnt depend on ur figure... Even Sz is alot stronger than me... So dun tok about rubbish tt says skinny girls r weak etc, and fats girls mus be strong all tt bullshit...
Anyways, when my mum's bf and me brought the old wardrobes downstairs to throw... We were caught!!! I noe its our fault, but how u expect me to dispose them? Then of coz, the cleaner wans MONEY!!! Money will do the trick, so tt cleaner came up to our door to get money from us... Damn suay!!! No wonder i saw neighbours throw away furnitures in e middle of the night...
I jus felt ppl are so corrupted... Then again, its our fault too... Aiyah... But to me, the money thingy is jus so wrong... He stil bargained somemore... We gave him 10 bucks, i noe its ONLY JUST A MERE 10 BUCKS TO U, but, i jus find it so wrong... It is jus so disgusting...
I am disgusted wif how some ppl think, got money can solve anything and also, those who request for money to take advantage of situations... Appalling!!!!
Money, money... Sigh...
I was dressed in utter mess as well, my hair was all over the place, i had it bunned and clipped, but it all kind of fell apart when i was moving things n cleaning... I was wear a white lousy tee wif purple paint all over (e paint was fr the painting of my house tt time), and a shorts wif holes somemore! My face was red coz i had rashes due to the dust...
And i actually spent so much time outside... To think i even had a long conversation wif a malay guy in e lift, up n down somemore... I forgot how i looked e whole time, coz i was too frustrated n engaged wif e whole situation...
When i finally settled everything at the end of tt day, and i looked in the mirror, i felt so embarrassed..
Not forgetting i was nearly killed twice by my mum's bf, jus becoz of some stupid mistakes by him... He nearly killed me n my son by near dropping a 20 kg door on us, and then he nearly dropped the whole wardrobe on me later... I moved away in time, and the wardrobe crashed to small bits of wood, and alerted the whole storey of neighbours, coz it sounded like explosion!
Let me sort my things out when i haf time... Then maybe it will becum a better place to live in...
I cooked the raddish chicken soup yest, and it tasted so good... I am going to do it again soon... I wan to blog e next entry, but its 530 now, and i got to cook my dinner...
Tonight i am cooking Black Pepper Chicken Udon... Yummy!!!
My next entry's to do wif Gackt & Hyde & dreams... Lol...
If u read my archives... I posted a pic long time ago showing the inside of my wardrobe doors, pictures n pictures of myself, and of coz some frenz, my dogs, etc... I was so god damn happy about it...
However, i had to take everything down... Coz the bloody new 2nd hand wardrobe all sliding doors one!!! How to put lidat!!! Sigh...
I had to take down lots of tapes n blue tags... And then i accidentally tore a pic of me and SZ, and i tore a part of her away...
I do not like torn photos, coz i am superstitious on tis and felt tt its bad luck, much like broken mirror n crystals... To me, it would meant something like e relationship will turn bad or something (whoever is in e photo)... I used to not tear away pics of myself too, coz i felt i will be giving myself bad luck or misforutunate... (Yeah, some weird facts tt u noe about me now)... Until my mum usually pick up those photos, look at them, and criticises them...
So from then on i tear all unwanted pics of myself, but unwanted photos of me n others i still throw away as a whole... Coz i do not wan things to happen to them... Bad things happen to me all the time anyways, so i hack...
But then i like e photo tt i torn tis time, and i am not sure whether i can develop it again or not... So i scotch-taped it, hopin to mend the watever bad thing's tt may or may not happen between us...
But i am very sad, coz i got no place to put them anymore... If i place them inside the wardrobe, i cant see them coz they will be covered by my clothes... I dun even haf a place to put my 3 peacock feathers... Urgh... I still need to see see look look on tis, for now, those things are on my table in the living room... Which i believe very soon, someone will ask me to throw them away due to the untidiness...
Ok, enuff of the tidyin, i am so sick of it now... After my sis put her humongous double queen size mattresses in the rm for herself, theres no place to put my chair for the computer desk... So i am sitting on her bed, blogging... Her bed is huge, it only makes me feel tt my single mattress is so small, and my son is squeezing wif me...
Theres no place to walk or to sit, except on her huge bed or my small bed... My backaches haf gotten worst... My wardrobe has a huge gap when u close the door, so i had to chunk a piece of ugly cardboard at the door, so minimise the gap... So ugly... I missed my old wardrobe, but tis one is huge... I put alot alot of rubbish inside now...
During my spring cleaning, I actually thot of how nice it would be if i got a bf to help... Coz i was doing everything myself, including pushing in the heavy huge ass wardrobes, (yes i dragged, how to lift by myself?) I even had to do my sis one, coz she is workin and she said she got no time...
Then again, most guys are not strong anyways... And i used to haf bfs, like they helped? I told myself, nvm, mus depend on myself... Tis is nothing compared to painting the whole house then, and shifiting all the furnitures in the house, jus me n my sis... We did not even haf a place to sleep, i slept on her luggage bag, and her bf came and bought us food, and then left!!!
It was a horrible experience, maybe i'll tok about it someday...
Back to tt day, i moved the wardrobes n e heavy furnitures myself... My mum was complaining if its not CNY, she would haf fled... It was jus a small prob, i dun understand y she give up so easily when she doesnt even help...
It did not help wif her complaining, n grumbling e whole day... I was extremely helpless n frustrated till i ended up not toking at all at e end of e day...
I do not haf great strength or wat... But i noe theres something called endurance n will power... When she went to buy her meals, i immediately started moving the things, coz i noe i can do it when shes not ard, critising tis n tt...
When she came back, she was surprised... I jus told her, when u got the will power to do something, u can do it one...
I cannot carry heavy things, but i tell u arh, when u r helpless and u noe theres no one to help and u got to do it urself... U can do the craziest things over ur limits... Jus tt i suspected i hurt my backbone e other time (during e painting of house)... But i noe i can solve probs, myself... And not give up like her, when she need not even do anything in e 1st place... During e painting, she did ran away... And of coz, her bf didnt come back during tt period...
So when i see girls, acting all weak n wimpy, complaining the bag too heavy or something, i will roll my eyeballs... Rubbish one lah... Can carry one lah, u can even break ur limit, jus tt, most of e time, e heaviness isnt even near ur limit...
Weak or not doesnt depend on ur figure... Even Sz is alot stronger than me... So dun tok about rubbish tt says skinny girls r weak etc, and fats girls mus be strong all tt bullshit...
Anyways, when my mum's bf and me brought the old wardrobes downstairs to throw... We were caught!!! I noe its our fault, but how u expect me to dispose them? Then of coz, the cleaner wans MONEY!!! Money will do the trick, so tt cleaner came up to our door to get money from us... Damn suay!!! No wonder i saw neighbours throw away furnitures in e middle of the night...
I jus felt ppl are so corrupted... Then again, its our fault too... Aiyah... But to me, the money thingy is jus so wrong... He stil bargained somemore... We gave him 10 bucks, i noe its ONLY JUST A MERE 10 BUCKS TO U, but, i jus find it so wrong... It is jus so disgusting...
I am disgusted wif how some ppl think, got money can solve anything and also, those who request for money to take advantage of situations... Appalling!!!!
Money, money... Sigh...
I was dressed in utter mess as well, my hair was all over the place, i had it bunned and clipped, but it all kind of fell apart when i was moving things n cleaning... I was wear a white lousy tee wif purple paint all over (e paint was fr the painting of my house tt time), and a shorts wif holes somemore! My face was red coz i had rashes due to the dust...
And i actually spent so much time outside... To think i even had a long conversation wif a malay guy in e lift, up n down somemore... I forgot how i looked e whole time, coz i was too frustrated n engaged wif e whole situation...
When i finally settled everything at the end of tt day, and i looked in the mirror, i felt so embarrassed..
Not forgetting i was nearly killed twice by my mum's bf, jus becoz of some stupid mistakes by him... He nearly killed me n my son by near dropping a 20 kg door on us, and then he nearly dropped the whole wardrobe on me later... I moved away in time, and the wardrobe crashed to small bits of wood, and alerted the whole storey of neighbours, coz it sounded like explosion!
Let me sort my things out when i haf time... Then maybe it will becum a better place to live in...
I cooked the raddish chicken soup yest, and it tasted so good... I am going to do it again soon... I wan to blog e next entry, but its 530 now, and i got to cook my dinner...
Tonight i am cooking Black Pepper Chicken Udon... Yummy!!!
My next entry's to do wif Gackt & Hyde & dreams... Lol...
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Shagged
Im shagged today... No, i didnt haf sex... I was shagged by unlimited amt of chores since i woke up till now...
Worst is i dun really like e result... I prefer my old room... Sigh... More chores tmr, i would re-arrange wat i did jus now, coz i hate it... Also i will need to get some things fr Ikea or Watsons (if they haf)...
I did haf dinner, but i didnt cook e soup coz i was too exhausted... But im hungry now... Very hungry, will go scout for food...
If everyday continues like tis, my bruise is not going to get any better... It had gotten worst... Darker n slightly bigger...
More stories later or tmr...
Worst is i dun really like e result... I prefer my old room... Sigh... More chores tmr, i would re-arrange wat i did jus now, coz i hate it... Also i will need to get some things fr Ikea or Watsons (if they haf)...
I did haf dinner, but i didnt cook e soup coz i was too exhausted... But im hungry now... Very hungry, will go scout for food...
If everyday continues like tis, my bruise is not going to get any better... It had gotten worst... Darker n slightly bigger...
More stories later or tmr...
Moi Dinner Yest: Grilled Dory
Ok, before all e food thingy...
I wan to post a pic of my bruise, so tt in April be4 i donate my blood again, i will prepare myself and not move my right arm at all...
I duno whether it turns u off, but i will compensate it wif food pics later...
Tada! Can see? 2 holes, one small one by the painkiller injection, bigger more obvious one by tt huge blood sucker needle... 3 CM LE!!! But not really painful (unless u press on it hard) liao and my arm is free to go... Except it felt more restricted n pains faster compared to e left when i do exercises jus now... I felt the right vein aches when i do stretching...
Anyways, i went to the market... Oh it turned out there was no tt Korean Drama tt i was waiting for... Damn it...
So i ended up bringin my dog down walk walk 1st... And he was so happy... Later on in the night, my big sis came wif Bondie, and he was soooooooooo happy... I think besides his bday, yest can easily be one of his happiest days alive... Tt is only if he can actually remembers, but i doubt so...
I gave him some bak gua to eat too, wah, so gd life eh... So many humans dun even get the chance to eat bak gua... I dun like it though, its too hard for me...
Then i went to e supermarket, i didnt loiter long coz the basket was too heavy and i cant switch 2 arms... I was also worried tt i would pack more n more stuffs into it... I seriously thot of grabbing everything, coz i wan to cook everything... All kinds of dishes floated in my mind...
I broke my umbrella on e way back... Damn, now i need to get a new one...
I bought these, and some personal female stuffs, lol... Nothing paiseh to show, jus tt food n personally things shd never be put together for me, it turns me off...
White raddish, cherry tomatoes, celery, oyster mushroom, red cabbage, lettuce, cholesterol margarine (for cookin), drumsticks, and dory fillet!
Speaking of e oyster mushroom hor... I saw something creepy there...
The 1st pack of mushroom i picked up, i saw something tt looked like twicks... With a closer look, i realised its a GOD DAMN BROWN DEAD SPIDER WHICH IS LIKE E SIZE OF MY PALM!!!
GROSS!!! It nearly grossed me out to exclude mushrooms in my menu... Then again, i love osyter mushrooms... I jus need to be more careful... I always thot tt its quite clean, now it changed my mind totally! I didnt complain, i jus took another pack...
I cooked white porridge to go wif e dory, vege n shrooms... I wanted to buy shark meat ut dun haf, then i saw dory so cheap! (SZ, no need eat Dory outside, cheat money!!!!) So i bought to try, i haven tried cooking dory be4...
But becoz of e dory, it changed my receipe... I decided to keep it western, lol...
Grilled Black Pepper Dory, Vege (some green vege, celery, carrots, garlic, onions), Grilled Shrooms!!! (I like to call mushroom, shrooms, dun ask me y i also duno)
Alot of wine is used, i think i better buy red & white wine next time...
I looked at it and thot, Y e hell i cooked e porridge!!! Can eat lidat liao mah!!!
The dish doesnt look appetising on photo, so i started to play wif it...
Trying to be funny...
Trying to be funny again...
But very ugly leh, i lost my touch liao after a mth... Urrgghhh... Nvm it'll come back...
Look at the huge shroom, my fav!!!! Oyster Shroom!!! (Dun think about e spider)
Mmmmmm, yummy!!!
Yummy yummy!!!
I played wif it so long till my food turned cold, lol... Then i went to reheat the fish again...
Tmr i am cooking White Raddish Chicken Soup!!! Heh, cant wait!!!
I wan to post a pic of my bruise, so tt in April be4 i donate my blood again, i will prepare myself and not move my right arm at all...
I duno whether it turns u off, but i will compensate it wif food pics later...
Tada! Can see? 2 holes, one small one by the painkiller injection, bigger more obvious one by tt huge blood sucker needle... 3 CM LE!!! But not really painful (unless u press on it hard) liao and my arm is free to go... Except it felt more restricted n pains faster compared to e left when i do exercises jus now... I felt the right vein aches when i do stretching...
Anyways, i went to the market... Oh it turned out there was no tt Korean Drama tt i was waiting for... Damn it...
So i ended up bringin my dog down walk walk 1st... And he was so happy... Later on in the night, my big sis came wif Bondie, and he was soooooooooo happy... I think besides his bday, yest can easily be one of his happiest days alive... Tt is only if he can actually remembers, but i doubt so...
I gave him some bak gua to eat too, wah, so gd life eh... So many humans dun even get the chance to eat bak gua... I dun like it though, its too hard for me...
Then i went to e supermarket, i didnt loiter long coz the basket was too heavy and i cant switch 2 arms... I was also worried tt i would pack more n more stuffs into it... I seriously thot of grabbing everything, coz i wan to cook everything... All kinds of dishes floated in my mind...
I broke my umbrella on e way back... Damn, now i need to get a new one...
I bought these, and some personal female stuffs, lol... Nothing paiseh to show, jus tt food n personally things shd never be put together for me, it turns me off...
White raddish, cherry tomatoes, celery, oyster mushroom, red cabbage, lettuce, cholesterol margarine (for cookin), drumsticks, and dory fillet!
Speaking of e oyster mushroom hor... I saw something creepy there...
The 1st pack of mushroom i picked up, i saw something tt looked like twicks... With a closer look, i realised its a GOD DAMN BROWN DEAD SPIDER WHICH IS LIKE E SIZE OF MY PALM!!!
GROSS!!! It nearly grossed me out to exclude mushrooms in my menu... Then again, i love osyter mushrooms... I jus need to be more careful... I always thot tt its quite clean, now it changed my mind totally! I didnt complain, i jus took another pack...
I cooked white porridge to go wif e dory, vege n shrooms... I wanted to buy shark meat ut dun haf, then i saw dory so cheap! (SZ, no need eat Dory outside, cheat money!!!!) So i bought to try, i haven tried cooking dory be4...
But becoz of e dory, it changed my receipe... I decided to keep it western, lol...
Grilled Black Pepper Dory, Vege (some green vege, celery, carrots, garlic, onions), Grilled Shrooms!!! (I like to call mushroom, shrooms, dun ask me y i also duno)
Alot of wine is used, i think i better buy red & white wine next time...
I looked at it and thot, Y e hell i cooked e porridge!!! Can eat lidat liao mah!!!
The dish doesnt look appetising on photo, so i started to play wif it...
Trying to be funny...
Trying to be funny again...
But very ugly leh, i lost my touch liao after a mth... Urrgghhh... Nvm it'll come back...
Look at the huge shroom, my fav!!!! Oyster Shroom!!! (Dun think about e spider)
Mmmmmm, yummy!!!
Yummy yummy!!!
I played wif it so long till my food turned cold, lol... Then i went to reheat the fish again...
Tmr i am cooking White Raddish Chicken Soup!!! Heh, cant wait!!!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Like Mother Like Son
I dun haf much time coz i need to catch a Korean Drama at 3 and then i need to hurry off to the supermarket, and then buy my groceries for the next 5 days and then hurry back to prepare dinner...
But i can always miss the drama though... hahaha...
Anyways, i was very bz the whole day of yest...
I was doing Spring Cleaning, and of coz, tolerating the fact tt someone didnt wan to help... Nvm... I brought my sis to Courts under the craziest sunlight... It was so hot and scorching... I took my umbrella and she wore her aviator sunglasses... She nearly died on the entrance of Courts... Lol, for walking too much and also under a too hot weather...
She wanted to get a vacuum cleaner... Coz the amt of fur ard e house was unbearable... She told the sales person she wan something under $100, and there were only 3 models... 2 $99, 1 $89... The sales person rolled his eyeball when he realised she duno wat she wans and only wan it cheap... And he even chose to ignore us.. Bloody hell!!!
We went back to another sales ppl, and we bought one $99 vacuum from him, (gd, give e commission to him), e vacuum has a bigger bag compared to the rest, and it can take in wet or dry, the suction was powerful too... It was on offer...
Even though its only less than 10 mins walk back, but coz e stupid cleaner is like 5 kg, my sis decided to hail a cab... Cabfare of only $2.80...
Think i will miss my drama abit, coz i jus stopped to do some smsing...
Then we cleaned our room, mum's room, and living room... Very happy at the end of e day... Very clean... Even e air is different... But becoz of tt, my bruise got from 1 cm to 3 cm...
We packed our shoes, and the area where we stacked our shoe boxes... Me n sis threw away half of the pile... I only threw away 2 boxes, 1 pair of working shoes (which i never wear be4 and doubt i will), and i gave my sis another 2 gd shoe boxes... She on the other hand, threw away 2 big bags of boxes...
I counted the shoes, i haf 16 shoes (7 slippers/flipflops, 4 close toed workin heels, 4 open toe casual heels, 1 track shoes) in all, she haf 25 shoes, my mum got about 7 shoes and her bf's got 4...
My room is going to haf facelift again... Coz my sis's fren is moving house, and so my sis went to select some unwanted furnitures... She is going to get 2 bigger wardrobes (but no drawers), i like my drawer though, and where the hell am i going to put up my pictures? Nvm, will jus keep it... But her wardrobe is coming apart and its bursting...
She is also getting a queen size bed for herself, and of coz, i will still be sleeping on my single mattress... She said too bad cannot put 2... My com table n drawer will haf to be shifted coz theres no space...
The things are coming in tmr... Gosh!!!
Yest, my mum's frenz came... And i was so bekcek... They rattled on to AGAIN N AGAIN say tt i was the most beautiful among the children tt my mum haf, and duno y, grow up becum so ugly... And ugliest somemore... And my sis who was ugliest becum prettiest...
So bek cek leh... So demoralising... Every time say i ugly... Wan to feel confident also cannot liao lah!
Then after they left, my mum continued on the topic and say duno y ur face becum like tt, tis n tt... Like machiam i am a monster... So bekcek... Bekcek Bekcek Bekcek BekcekBekcek v Bekcek Bekcek v v Bekcek Bekcek Bekcekv !!!!!!!!!
Ugly ugly lor, but still ur daughter mah!
Then they commented my son looked damn ugly too!!!! Even more angry... They mus be thinking like mother like son literally, ugly ppl keep ugly dogs... But he cute mah!!! And its not like i chose him one wat...
Sigh sigh...
Ugly ugly, no face see ppl liao lah, hide myself at home... And even more bekcek, i smsed Shuzhen about tis yest and she didnt reply to console me... Lol... Deceiving myself eh? Aiyah... Dun like tt lah!
I am not tt bad mah!!!! At least my double eyelids grew liao mah (okok, one eye)... Sheesh... Lol...
But i can always miss the drama though... hahaha...
Anyways, i was very bz the whole day of yest...
I was doing Spring Cleaning, and of coz, tolerating the fact tt someone didnt wan to help... Nvm... I brought my sis to Courts under the craziest sunlight... It was so hot and scorching... I took my umbrella and she wore her aviator sunglasses... She nearly died on the entrance of Courts... Lol, for walking too much and also under a too hot weather...
She wanted to get a vacuum cleaner... Coz the amt of fur ard e house was unbearable... She told the sales person she wan something under $100, and there were only 3 models... 2 $99, 1 $89... The sales person rolled his eyeball when he realised she duno wat she wans and only wan it cheap... And he even chose to ignore us.. Bloody hell!!!
We went back to another sales ppl, and we bought one $99 vacuum from him, (gd, give e commission to him), e vacuum has a bigger bag compared to the rest, and it can take in wet or dry, the suction was powerful too... It was on offer...
Even though its only less than 10 mins walk back, but coz e stupid cleaner is like 5 kg, my sis decided to hail a cab... Cabfare of only $2.80...
Think i will miss my drama abit, coz i jus stopped to do some smsing...
Then we cleaned our room, mum's room, and living room... Very happy at the end of e day... Very clean... Even e air is different... But becoz of tt, my bruise got from 1 cm to 3 cm...
We packed our shoes, and the area where we stacked our shoe boxes... Me n sis threw away half of the pile... I only threw away 2 boxes, 1 pair of working shoes (which i never wear be4 and doubt i will), and i gave my sis another 2 gd shoe boxes... She on the other hand, threw away 2 big bags of boxes...
I counted the shoes, i haf 16 shoes (7 slippers/flipflops, 4 close toed workin heels, 4 open toe casual heels, 1 track shoes) in all, she haf 25 shoes, my mum got about 7 shoes and her bf's got 4...
My room is going to haf facelift again... Coz my sis's fren is moving house, and so my sis went to select some unwanted furnitures... She is going to get 2 bigger wardrobes (but no drawers), i like my drawer though, and where the hell am i going to put up my pictures? Nvm, will jus keep it... But her wardrobe is coming apart and its bursting...
She is also getting a queen size bed for herself, and of coz, i will still be sleeping on my single mattress... She said too bad cannot put 2... My com table n drawer will haf to be shifted coz theres no space...
The things are coming in tmr... Gosh!!!
Yest, my mum's frenz came... And i was so bekcek... They rattled on to AGAIN N AGAIN say tt i was the most beautiful among the children tt my mum haf, and duno y, grow up becum so ugly... And ugliest somemore... And my sis who was ugliest becum prettiest...
So bek cek leh... So demoralising... Every time say i ugly... Wan to feel confident also cannot liao lah!
Then after they left, my mum continued on the topic and say duno y ur face becum like tt, tis n tt... Like machiam i am a monster... So bekcek... Bekcek Bekcek Bekcek BekcekBekcek v Bekcek Bekcek v v Bekcek Bekcek Bekcekv !!!!!!!!!
Ugly ugly lor, but still ur daughter mah!
Then they commented my son looked damn ugly too!!!! Even more angry... They mus be thinking like mother like son literally, ugly ppl keep ugly dogs... But he cute mah!!! And its not like i chose him one wat...
Sigh sigh...
Ugly ugly, no face see ppl liao lah, hide myself at home... And even more bekcek, i smsed Shuzhen about tis yest and she didnt reply to console me... Lol... Deceiving myself eh? Aiyah... Dun like tt lah!
I am not tt bad mah!!!! At least my double eyelids grew liao mah (okok, one eye)... Sheesh... Lol...
Saturday, January 21, 2006
My 1st Time !
Wan to hear about it? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ? Wan ?
Ok, before tt, 2 pics of the workers @ cabling yest noon, though small...
WARNING: LONG ENTRY AHEAD!!!!
E rusty old cables tt looked like twicks... Think u can click n enlarge to see...
The foreman in his mini bull-dozer... He kept shouting and scolding the 2 poor workers... E left one is practically submerged, and he was on the verge on being drowned, as the rain started to fill up the long hols they dug...
Okok, enuff of tt...
CONGRATS TO MYSELF FOR DONATING MY BLOOD FOR THE 1ST TIME TODAY!!!
Funny thing was, Shuzhen was rejected and so only i donated... I will tok about it later and bring u thru e process...
I forced myself to eat breakfast and ended up wif a terrble stomachache... Then i met up wif her at Outram Mrt... Went over to HSA Building, jus opp the station... Health Sciences Authority.
And then i went to e toilet and i cant get anything out... (Coz i am not comfortable wif public toilets, so my body jus shuts down itself, even though i was in great pain)...
And then we practically didnt noe wat to do... We headed to Customer Service Counter and we were directed over to the registration counter... Next time, if u r going... Jus head straight to the registration counter and tell them u r donating whole blood, 1st time or not... If u haf an appointment, pls pls let them noe... We didnt tell them, so we ended waiting wif e rest...
There were alot of ppl, which was a great sign, though i doubt its enuff according to e articles... But i jus checked out the blood stock indicator and i am so glad the other 3 has gone up!!! Especially O!!!! Tts mine!!! But A has gone down... Oi! A PPL, mus donate also leh!!!
Like my sis lah, i told her A is enuff currently and so she said, "Ok, then i no need donate liao..." Anyways she cant coz her vein too small... She was scolded by e nurse coz of tt, and she didnt wan to go back anymore... And was told to exercise more...
So anyways, they will give u some forms n brochures and a cute little pen tt i kept... Fill up the form according, including ur weight... Its basically more of qns for the past 12 mths...
It would be better if u dun haf sex for 12 mths, otherwise i believed tt e Doc will prompt u more qns... Unless of coz if u r married, or u n ur gf/bf never had sex wif anyone else... No medicatin within e past 1 week as well, not even panadol... I read a lady was rejected due to panadol intake...
I also found out tis, which i do not noe... After a HIV infectn, it will take 1-3 mths before it can be detected, so if u haf casual sex regularly and even though tested tt u r not infected, u shd not donate, coz it doesnt mean u dun haf, and it will still pass thru ur donation..
Fill up e forms, put back on e trays at the registration, and wait for them to call ur name... Then when they do, give them ur IC for data entering... Coz it was my 1st time, they gave me a big sticker to paste on myself, stating, "This is my 1st time! Pls be nice to me!"... Lol, which is bloody funny...
Then wait again, and some lady will call ur name, then u go to a corridor, and wait for a empty Doc room... Then e Doc will ask u some qns to confirm, etc... He said many many things... But he was toking too fast i couldnt catch him... Coz it was a busy day, i think they are used to e speed... He did mentioned that it was a pity coz alot of patients died due to lack of blood or postpone of threatments.. Sobs...
Then u bring ur form n all tt, to a Blood Test counter, and put on e tray... An english speaking stranger man (donor too) guided me... He was so nice, i didnt even thank him, e whole thing was so chaotic... Then u wait again...
The 2 ladies will call ur name and then u sit there and get ur blood tested... Ur finger is pricked (more painful than my home prick tool, SHuzhen complained its very painful, but im kind of used to it, coz i check myself too... But it is more painful, so be prepared), and then she will squeeze ur finger like mad to fill up e whole tube (same experience during Pri 6 when they test for my blood type), and then she will dropped e blood into a beaker of blue solution to test for ur haemoglobin level...
I thought HB level is tested thru some device of meansurement, much like a glucose level indicator.. But no leh... I saw the blood turn into a donut in e beaker, and u see many more donuts at the bottom... Then i am ok... So i headed to e donation room wif my form, but it was full, so i waited outside...
And then it started... They started testing my vein... And said i got deep vein, (i knew coz doc n nurses told me be4), but they did find my vein though... Just tt, they left me on e bed for so long, i didnt noe y... Every now n then, some doc or head nurse, (no idea) came n check on me... I even witnessed a lady came after me, done n left...
They gave me so much time to think, and it was only me... I became more scared... Lol... Just get it over n done wif, i thot... I was wearing mini skirt, i shd wear jeans next time, coz a guy was looking at me across, even though i had blanket to cover later...
The duno indonesian or phillipino nurses gave me brouchures to read, and an orange ball, she said "A gift for u!"... But i couldnt understand her other english and she couldnt converse normally... They do not understand full english, only e basic ones, so i didnt ask her qns... I did ask one, but she dun understand, so i dropped it...
Then i saw Shuzhen (whos after me supposedly) left... I was like, i haven even started!
Then finally it started... SO SCARY... She swipped the iodine ( i assumed), slowly n very meticulously... And then came e long syringe of painkiller... She poked into my skin, it didnt hurt, but it hurt when she pulled it out, braising my inner skin... Yes, i was looking, i wan to noe wat they r doing...
Then e thing came, and she asked me to look other side if im scared... I didnt initially but turned back coz i wan to see... The tubes n bag was ready... Of coz, before tt, they will give u some intructions on wat to do wif e ball... And then e huge ass needle came...
I tell u arh, not pain is bluff ppl one... Its is not extremely painful, but tolerable...
The insertion was painful, but i didnt cringe... The lady beside me cringed like mad and told e doc or head nurse tt its very painful... She also said, "Ouch"... Now u noe how painful for kidney dialysis, coz the needle is many time bigger...
And then when e blood flows out, u can feel it... Its painful too... U can feel coming out of your body, like ur soul is being sucked out... But then, after awhile when e blood flow is constant, u feel nothing liao... Then when e blood bag is full, it will go TI TI TI TI TI TI TI, and then someone will remove e things for u.. And u press on the wound and rest awhile and they bandaged u wif a smiley face bandage...
I was supposed to let it remain for 4-6 hrs, but it came off about 1 hr plus later... I was at home and it came off... There were many colors too, purple, pink, yellow, etc... I got e ugliest color i thot, i dun like orange...
When i came out, i realised Shuzhen wasnt bandaged... We saw one old secondary classmate though he was rather unfriendly... Anyways, Shuzhen was rejected coz her vein was too small... They couldnt get it from her left hand and her right one was too small...
She was disappointed and said she went thru e pain for nothing (pricking of finger)... She also mentioned tt she thot tt she didnt wan to go anymore... I said, "Cannot! Mus think of the patients!"... Anyways, i told her she need not feel disappointed coz becoz of her, my O blood was donated... Otherwise, i wouldnt... My O can cover one of her B patients, i said...
Then i went for e free refreshments, i had warm soya bean milk and raspberry muffin...
Then i accompanied Shuzhen to get her moto phone (which still haf e prob, she gave up, and shes not going to get moto phones ever!), then i went home...
My bandage in full...
Jus alittle blood, i am O blood, so my blood is darker than e rest...
The things i got from them...
My next earliest donation date... 15 April 2006... Anyone wan to go wif me again?
My Bruise... It is said tt, if i use tis hand to carry heavy things, the bruise will enlarged...
I wanted to cook initially, then i realised i couldnt carry the groceries...
So i came home to cook maggie mee... Shuzhen said, "U donate blood liao eat maggie mee!", I then said, "If not then i eat wat?"... "Cook white porridge!" (SZ), "No condiments!" (Me), "Put soya sauce lor!" (SZ), "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (ME)...
I made a mistake... I bent down to take my dog's stuff... And when i got up, my head spun and i almost black out...
Then while i was cookin, i wanted to vomit, at the sight of food... And then i lost my feeling of my head, it went numbed... My eyes were clouded, i couldnt see... I thot to myself, "Oh shit", and i offed the stove n sat down, but it got worst, so i hurried to lay on my bed...
I thot i was going to die... Lol... Further more, nobody was at home... I knew i had to take in some food or sugar... But i couldnt get up... I then called SZ .. But while i was lying down, the fog started to clear, and i regained my senses... But i was slow in thinking and couldnt tok fast enuff...
At last, my mum was back, and i asked her to help me finish cooking my mee... She also bought me some sweet things coz she knew i will faint... lol... Coz i always seem to be on low blood n sugar...
I recovered and then ate and slept... Now i am good...
Forgot to mention, my arm hurts alittle alittle while i was on the way home, jus dun strain ur arm...
Lol, i hope it doesnt turn u off... I am not going to tell u its not painful, jus tt e pain is not too much a deal...
Like i said, not painful is bluff one, but its not painful like hell though... Jus abit numbing pain afterwards... Jus prepare urself for the pricking finger pain, (some said its more painful than e actual donation), and e insertion of e huge ass needle n a few minutes of pain there after...
Try to go to HSA, coz the staff there are extremely helpful, and friendly... Unlike other mobile donation drive (especially those at schs)...
Pls donate, u can save a life too...
Ok, before tt, 2 pics of the workers @ cabling yest noon, though small...
WARNING: LONG ENTRY AHEAD!!!!
E rusty old cables tt looked like twicks... Think u can click n enlarge to see...
The foreman in his mini bull-dozer... He kept shouting and scolding the 2 poor workers... E left one is practically submerged, and he was on the verge on being drowned, as the rain started to fill up the long hols they dug...
Okok, enuff of tt...
CONGRATS TO MYSELF FOR DONATING MY BLOOD FOR THE 1ST TIME TODAY!!!
Funny thing was, Shuzhen was rejected and so only i donated... I will tok about it later and bring u thru e process...
I forced myself to eat breakfast and ended up wif a terrble stomachache... Then i met up wif her at Outram Mrt... Went over to HSA Building, jus opp the station... Health Sciences Authority.
And then i went to e toilet and i cant get anything out... (Coz i am not comfortable wif public toilets, so my body jus shuts down itself, even though i was in great pain)...
And then we practically didnt noe wat to do... We headed to Customer Service Counter and we were directed over to the registration counter... Next time, if u r going... Jus head straight to the registration counter and tell them u r donating whole blood, 1st time or not... If u haf an appointment, pls pls let them noe... We didnt tell them, so we ended waiting wif e rest...
There were alot of ppl, which was a great sign, though i doubt its enuff according to e articles... But i jus checked out the blood stock indicator and i am so glad the other 3 has gone up!!! Especially O!!!! Tts mine!!! But A has gone down... Oi! A PPL, mus donate also leh!!!
Like my sis lah, i told her A is enuff currently and so she said, "Ok, then i no need donate liao..." Anyways she cant coz her vein too small... She was scolded by e nurse coz of tt, and she didnt wan to go back anymore... And was told to exercise more...
So anyways, they will give u some forms n brochures and a cute little pen tt i kept... Fill up the form according, including ur weight... Its basically more of qns for the past 12 mths...
It would be better if u dun haf sex for 12 mths, otherwise i believed tt e Doc will prompt u more qns... Unless of coz if u r married, or u n ur gf/bf never had sex wif anyone else... No medicatin within e past 1 week as well, not even panadol... I read a lady was rejected due to panadol intake...
I also found out tis, which i do not noe... After a HIV infectn, it will take 1-3 mths before it can be detected, so if u haf casual sex regularly and even though tested tt u r not infected, u shd not donate, coz it doesnt mean u dun haf, and it will still pass thru ur donation..
Fill up e forms, put back on e trays at the registration, and wait for them to call ur name... Then when they do, give them ur IC for data entering... Coz it was my 1st time, they gave me a big sticker to paste on myself, stating, "This is my 1st time! Pls be nice to me!"... Lol, which is bloody funny...
Then wait again, and some lady will call ur name, then u go to a corridor, and wait for a empty Doc room... Then e Doc will ask u some qns to confirm, etc... He said many many things... But he was toking too fast i couldnt catch him... Coz it was a busy day, i think they are used to e speed... He did mentioned that it was a pity coz alot of patients died due to lack of blood or postpone of threatments.. Sobs...
Then u bring ur form n all tt, to a Blood Test counter, and put on e tray... An english speaking stranger man (donor too) guided me... He was so nice, i didnt even thank him, e whole thing was so chaotic... Then u wait again...
The 2 ladies will call ur name and then u sit there and get ur blood tested... Ur finger is pricked (more painful than my home prick tool, SHuzhen complained its very painful, but im kind of used to it, coz i check myself too... But it is more painful, so be prepared), and then she will squeeze ur finger like mad to fill up e whole tube (same experience during Pri 6 when they test for my blood type), and then she will dropped e blood into a beaker of blue solution to test for ur haemoglobin level...
I thought HB level is tested thru some device of meansurement, much like a glucose level indicator.. But no leh... I saw the blood turn into a donut in e beaker, and u see many more donuts at the bottom... Then i am ok... So i headed to e donation room wif my form, but it was full, so i waited outside...
And then it started... They started testing my vein... And said i got deep vein, (i knew coz doc n nurses told me be4), but they did find my vein though... Just tt, they left me on e bed for so long, i didnt noe y... Every now n then, some doc or head nurse, (no idea) came n check on me... I even witnessed a lady came after me, done n left...
They gave me so much time to think, and it was only me... I became more scared... Lol... Just get it over n done wif, i thot... I was wearing mini skirt, i shd wear jeans next time, coz a guy was looking at me across, even though i had blanket to cover later...
The duno indonesian or phillipino nurses gave me brouchures to read, and an orange ball, she said "A gift for u!"... But i couldnt understand her other english and she couldnt converse normally... They do not understand full english, only e basic ones, so i didnt ask her qns... I did ask one, but she dun understand, so i dropped it...
Then i saw Shuzhen (whos after me supposedly) left... I was like, i haven even started!
Then finally it started... SO SCARY... She swipped the iodine ( i assumed), slowly n very meticulously... And then came e long syringe of painkiller... She poked into my skin, it didnt hurt, but it hurt when she pulled it out, braising my inner skin... Yes, i was looking, i wan to noe wat they r doing...
Then e thing came, and she asked me to look other side if im scared... I didnt initially but turned back coz i wan to see... The tubes n bag was ready... Of coz, before tt, they will give u some intructions on wat to do wif e ball... And then e huge ass needle came...
I tell u arh, not pain is bluff ppl one... Its is not extremely painful, but tolerable...
The insertion was painful, but i didnt cringe... The lady beside me cringed like mad and told e doc or head nurse tt its very painful... She also said, "Ouch"... Now u noe how painful for kidney dialysis, coz the needle is many time bigger...
And then when e blood flows out, u can feel it... Its painful too... U can feel coming out of your body, like ur soul is being sucked out... But then, after awhile when e blood flow is constant, u feel nothing liao... Then when e blood bag is full, it will go TI TI TI TI TI TI TI, and then someone will remove e things for u.. And u press on the wound and rest awhile and they bandaged u wif a smiley face bandage...
I was supposed to let it remain for 4-6 hrs, but it came off about 1 hr plus later... I was at home and it came off... There were many colors too, purple, pink, yellow, etc... I got e ugliest color i thot, i dun like orange...
When i came out, i realised Shuzhen wasnt bandaged... We saw one old secondary classmate though he was rather unfriendly... Anyways, Shuzhen was rejected coz her vein was too small... They couldnt get it from her left hand and her right one was too small...
She was disappointed and said she went thru e pain for nothing (pricking of finger)... She also mentioned tt she thot tt she didnt wan to go anymore... I said, "Cannot! Mus think of the patients!"... Anyways, i told her she need not feel disappointed coz becoz of her, my O blood was donated... Otherwise, i wouldnt... My O can cover one of her B patients, i said...
Then i went for e free refreshments, i had warm soya bean milk and raspberry muffin...
Then i accompanied Shuzhen to get her moto phone (which still haf e prob, she gave up, and shes not going to get moto phones ever!), then i went home...
My bandage in full...
Jus alittle blood, i am O blood, so my blood is darker than e rest...
The things i got from them...
My next earliest donation date... 15 April 2006... Anyone wan to go wif me again?
My Bruise... It is said tt, if i use tis hand to carry heavy things, the bruise will enlarged...
I wanted to cook initially, then i realised i couldnt carry the groceries...
So i came home to cook maggie mee... Shuzhen said, "U donate blood liao eat maggie mee!", I then said, "If not then i eat wat?"... "Cook white porridge!" (SZ), "No condiments!" (Me), "Put soya sauce lor!" (SZ), "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (ME)...
I made a mistake... I bent down to take my dog's stuff... And when i got up, my head spun and i almost black out...
Then while i was cookin, i wanted to vomit, at the sight of food... And then i lost my feeling of my head, it went numbed... My eyes were clouded, i couldnt see... I thot to myself, "Oh shit", and i offed the stove n sat down, but it got worst, so i hurried to lay on my bed...
I thot i was going to die... Lol... Further more, nobody was at home... I knew i had to take in some food or sugar... But i couldnt get up... I then called SZ .. But while i was lying down, the fog started to clear, and i regained my senses... But i was slow in thinking and couldnt tok fast enuff...
At last, my mum was back, and i asked her to help me finish cooking my mee... She also bought me some sweet things coz she knew i will faint... lol... Coz i always seem to be on low blood n sugar...
I recovered and then ate and slept... Now i am good...
Forgot to mention, my arm hurts alittle alittle while i was on the way home, jus dun strain ur arm...
Lol, i hope it doesnt turn u off... I am not going to tell u its not painful, jus tt e pain is not too much a deal...
Like i said, not painful is bluff one, but its not painful like hell though... Jus abit numbing pain afterwards... Jus prepare urself for the pricking finger pain, (some said its more painful than e actual donation), and e insertion of e huge ass needle n a few minutes of pain there after...
Try to go to HSA, coz the staff there are extremely helpful, and friendly... Unlike other mobile donation drive (especially those at schs)...
Pls donate, u can save a life too...
Friday, January 20, 2006
Pls Donate Ur Blood!
I realised i wasnt serious enuff in my prev entry... Coz simply, i didnt noe it is tt bad, unless i saw so many blood donation articles...
Yes, i saw that the blood bank stock is at its low and warning stage for B, AB and O... But i automatically assumed, tt its more or less always low, coz singaporeans are either selfish, selfcentered, cant be bothered, or simply weaklings (like me)... So usually the blood bank doesnt haf substantial amt of blood, therefore resulting in constant calling for donations...
My bad, my bad... I feel terrible...
Apparently, it has gotten so low tt, many surgeries were postponed... Imagine tt... How those patients are suffering...
My mum jus told me tt theres only 500 packs of blood left... And i believed A is about 80%...
Sigh... I am so bad...
To think i even wanted to postpone my appointment due to my menses...
Screw e menses... Who cares right? I am jus gonna go and try my luck... If i dun get rejected, that tt great... If i do, but at least i tried...
I jus checked my blood pressure, its 105/70, and then i aso checked my glucose level... But i haven tested my glucose level in a mth, so i abit scared even though i do it to my mum so often... Lol... I pricked my finger but theres not enuff, so i had to prick again... 2 holes but still not enuff blood... Damn, i didnt wan to prick the 3rd hole, so i squeezed my finger like mad to get 2 miserable small drop...
Lucky, i got my reading... 107 after food... Very gd!
Our Blk's electricity was cut off from 2pm... Damn, i was so hot... My mum read wrongly, she told me tele line... Then ended up its e electricity... I was very hot, and its so stuffy... I did not get enuff oxygen and had to stand at my windows... My dog is very hot too... He will get rashes when hes hot... Especially at his armpit area... Can tell he was also very bekcek coz he had a confused look... Like wantin to ask me y no fan!
So i cant do anything except to read... So i continued to read my lotr book, which i stopped for awhile coz i was doing other things... May be a blessing in disguise, coz i finally picked up where i left off again...
I saw e workers changin e elect cable pipes from my kitchen window... The old pipes looked so crooked and rusted... The new ones were thinner, and bronzy looking... It even sparkles under the sun... Then it started to rain, I felt pity for them working in e rain but at the same time, i am also afraid tt the electricity will not come back... I even took pics of them... May upload soon... My wind and oxygen finally came back all thks to their great efforts near 5 pm...
The foreman kept shouting the foreign workers... Sigh... And he was in e shade...
Oh well, tmr's e day... I hope i can wake up though... Its so early.. But i mus lah, and mus force myself to take breakfast...
Donate if you can, too... Please call them and make an appointment...
Yes, i saw that the blood bank stock is at its low and warning stage for B, AB and O... But i automatically assumed, tt its more or less always low, coz singaporeans are either selfish, selfcentered, cant be bothered, or simply weaklings (like me)... So usually the blood bank doesnt haf substantial amt of blood, therefore resulting in constant calling for donations...
My bad, my bad... I feel terrible...
Apparently, it has gotten so low tt, many surgeries were postponed... Imagine tt... How those patients are suffering...
My mum jus told me tt theres only 500 packs of blood left... And i believed A is about 80%...
Sigh... I am so bad...
To think i even wanted to postpone my appointment due to my menses...
Screw e menses... Who cares right? I am jus gonna go and try my luck... If i dun get rejected, that tt great... If i do, but at least i tried...
I jus checked my blood pressure, its 105/70, and then i aso checked my glucose level... But i haven tested my glucose level in a mth, so i abit scared even though i do it to my mum so often... Lol... I pricked my finger but theres not enuff, so i had to prick again... 2 holes but still not enuff blood... Damn, i didnt wan to prick the 3rd hole, so i squeezed my finger like mad to get 2 miserable small drop...
Lucky, i got my reading... 107 after food... Very gd!
Our Blk's electricity was cut off from 2pm... Damn, i was so hot... My mum read wrongly, she told me tele line... Then ended up its e electricity... I was very hot, and its so stuffy... I did not get enuff oxygen and had to stand at my windows... My dog is very hot too... He will get rashes when hes hot... Especially at his armpit area... Can tell he was also very bekcek coz he had a confused look... Like wantin to ask me y no fan!
So i cant do anything except to read... So i continued to read my lotr book, which i stopped for awhile coz i was doing other things... May be a blessing in disguise, coz i finally picked up where i left off again...
I saw e workers changin e elect cable pipes from my kitchen window... The old pipes looked so crooked and rusted... The new ones were thinner, and bronzy looking... It even sparkles under the sun... Then it started to rain, I felt pity for them working in e rain but at the same time, i am also afraid tt the electricity will not come back... I even took pics of them... May upload soon... My wind and oxygen finally came back all thks to their great efforts near 5 pm...
The foreman kept shouting the foreign workers... Sigh... And he was in e shade...
Oh well, tmr's e day... I hope i can wake up though... Its so early.. But i mus lah, and mus force myself to take breakfast...
Donate if you can, too... Please call them and make an appointment...
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Blood Donation
I am going for a blood donation this coming sat at Outram (so far), very early in the morning...
I am both excited and scared... Lol... Its moi 1st time, i always wanted to do it in poly but nobody wan to accompany me... They said i crazy every time i saw the mobile donation drive... I wan to do it coz i am O+, but at the same time i also scared... Hahahah...
Then again, i am more worried i am rejected... Coz i am having menses now, and this mth happen to be strangely heavy for me... Due to this, i am afraid tt my HB level will not be high enough... I read their requirements, and it stated the last point out of the tonnes of pts, "FEMALES SHD NOT DONATE WHEN THEY ARE HAVING HEAVY MENSTRATION OR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS"...
Then again, i'll just go, and get it tested, if fail then too bad lor... Then i'll jus wait for SHuzhen for about 30 mins... The whole thing take about average of 45 mins... The donation will be 20 mins, of coz depending on the blood flow rate tt they set on u...
Shuzhen jioed me... But she confirm can one lah, unless her weight falls under 45 kg... She is a damn healthy gal... She doesnt get sick...
The weight reminded me, its means so many girls cannot donate liao lor... Especially those uber skinny ones (which is e trend now), then again, those who are so conscious of their weight, i doubt they donate blood too... My weight of coz is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy higher... Hahahah, so no need to worry lah...
I made the mistake and went to sg blood donation forums to read... I read so many scary incidents tt rather put me off... So scary!!!
Nvm nvm, mus make sure i go do it... See it for myself...
I do haf my insecurities... But i noe i cannot be selfish too... If everyone dun donate due to one reason or another, then its so unfair to the patients... Shuzhen told me to not force myself... But i felt it mus be forced in a way... I mus go at least for the 1st time no matter wat...
Besides, my insecurities are jus lame and weak on my part... There isnt more valid a reason to donate than not to...
Hopefully theres nothing wrong wif my blood (as in no disease or anything, choy!), otherwise i am really glad to be of help...
I am both excited and scared... Lol... Its moi 1st time, i always wanted to do it in poly but nobody wan to accompany me... They said i crazy every time i saw the mobile donation drive... I wan to do it coz i am O+, but at the same time i also scared... Hahahah...
Then again, i am more worried i am rejected... Coz i am having menses now, and this mth happen to be strangely heavy for me... Due to this, i am afraid tt my HB level will not be high enough... I read their requirements, and it stated the last point out of the tonnes of pts, "FEMALES SHD NOT DONATE WHEN THEY ARE HAVING HEAVY MENSTRATION OR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS"...
Then again, i'll just go, and get it tested, if fail then too bad lor... Then i'll jus wait for SHuzhen for about 30 mins... The whole thing take about average of 45 mins... The donation will be 20 mins, of coz depending on the blood flow rate tt they set on u...
Shuzhen jioed me... But she confirm can one lah, unless her weight falls under 45 kg... She is a damn healthy gal... She doesnt get sick...
The weight reminded me, its means so many girls cannot donate liao lor... Especially those uber skinny ones (which is e trend now), then again, those who are so conscious of their weight, i doubt they donate blood too... My weight of coz is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy higher... Hahahah, so no need to worry lah...
I made the mistake and went to sg blood donation forums to read... I read so many scary incidents tt rather put me off... So scary!!!
Nvm nvm, mus make sure i go do it... See it for myself...
I do haf my insecurities... But i noe i cannot be selfish too... If everyone dun donate due to one reason or another, then its so unfair to the patients... Shuzhen told me to not force myself... But i felt it mus be forced in a way... I mus go at least for the 1st time no matter wat...
Besides, my insecurities are jus lame and weak on my part... There isnt more valid a reason to donate than not to...
Hopefully theres nothing wrong wif my blood (as in no disease or anything, choy!), otherwise i am really glad to be of help...
Man Or Woman?
I watched TAB TV jus now, and tis was e issue then...
I am pretty surprised at the 2 stories of 2 singaporean females (or males)...
Female 1
She was a popular girl since young, and once when she was having PE when she was primary 6, she had a severe adominal pain... She was admitted to the hospital shortly.
Then the doctor told e mum tt her daughter had a tumour in one of her ovaries, and she needed to go into surgery, if not she would die... Then while the doctor was in the middle of the surgery, the doc was shock to realise e patient doesnt haf a uretrus/uritreus/watever (spelled something lidat, cant be bothered to check spelling), or wat u called a womb... But anyways, doc removed her ovary and operation was successful...
Doc told mum and mum couldnt understand... Mum was only concerned tt her daughter is still alive... Then e girl went to secondary, she grew up very pretty and popular... Her frenz started toking about their 1st time menses incidents... And she wondered y she didnt haf it still... Her frenz consoled her tt it may be due to her cancer... Coz she is still treating it...
And then, later on, her other ovary was taken away and then she cured her cancer...
But becoz shes not havin menses, she always felt tt there was something strange about her body... And felt tt she wasnt a completed woman...
When she turned 21, and was comfortable enuff... She went to tok to her Doc and asked her about it... Then the Doc told her she doesnt haf a womb... And had to run further tests...
And then the news came... Her chromosome was tested and shes a XY... Which means she isnt female, she is a male, genentically... E Y chromosome which defines a male gender was defective... Thus, she was having a female body, but without a womb...
She fell into depression and till today, her mum still didnt understand...
But fortunately for her, when she turned 24, she met the man of her dreams... She told him e truth tt genetically shes a male, and her bf accepted her as who she is and they got married...
Female 2 (E unfortunate case, to me)
Female 2 grew up as a female...
But she started having mustache when she reaches puberty... She had to shave them everyday... Even though she has boobs, she started to grow male genitals... And she is basically like a tom boy... She doesnt act feminine unlike other girls do... So she was bullied, ostracized due to her tom boyness...
Cut things short... Her mum brought her to doc, and again she was diagnoised wif e same prob as e above female... She is not a female, genectically, she is a guy... But her male chromosome was defective, and thus she had a female body...
She had to go thru numerous surgery... To remove her male genitals, remove her ovaries, to remove e source (i cant remember medical terms) tt produces e male hormones... But when they do tt, she loses her source of female hormones as well... And thus she would need to take constant medication (for her female hormones) till she menopause...
She also had to go thru conselling, and to attend courses to become a so called proper female... Basically, they mentioned, to start learning to becum a female from scratch...
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The 2nd one was so much more unfortunate compared to e 1st... At least the 1st managed to find a husband who loves her for e way she is... Though i believed her beauty was a gift to tide her thru her unfortunate life... I do hope that the 2nd can be as lucky as her...
Evelyn (e host for e show) asked a stupid qns in my opinion... She asked, isit possible for a guy who grew up as having a guy's body, actually be female genetically?...
How is tt even possible!!!
For chromosomes (e thing which defines ur gender), females are XX, guys are XY... U cannot develop any male parts or watever if u r a XX (f)... If somehow u do, it means u r a XY (m), tts y it happens... Y is e element for male anyways... So, if u r a XY (m), there will be chances (1 out of 10,000 e doc said), tt Y is defective, and thus, ur X developed and u haf a female (XX) body...
So genetically, it is impossible for a male to haf a male body, grew up as a male, being XX... Becoz if u r XX (f), u do not haf to element to even develop any male reproductive systems...
In e cases tt when u haf both when u r born... It is birth defect... A body defect... Tis is a whole different issue altogether and its more serious and haf to be treated immediately for e baby to survive...
No matter, its kinda scary... Imagine 20 yrs later, u lived ur life as a female and suddenly u realised u r a guy... But i also admired e 1st girl's husband, who compromised on tt fact and also that they wouldnt be able to conceive... He is so ... I duno how to describe him... Other man would simply run away...
I do hope that life is smoother for the 2 ladies now...
I am pretty surprised at the 2 stories of 2 singaporean females (or males)...
Female 1
She was a popular girl since young, and once when she was having PE when she was primary 6, she had a severe adominal pain... She was admitted to the hospital shortly.
Then the doctor told e mum tt her daughter had a tumour in one of her ovaries, and she needed to go into surgery, if not she would die... Then while the doctor was in the middle of the surgery, the doc was shock to realise e patient doesnt haf a uretrus/uritreus/watever (spelled something lidat, cant be bothered to check spelling), or wat u called a womb... But anyways, doc removed her ovary and operation was successful...
Doc told mum and mum couldnt understand... Mum was only concerned tt her daughter is still alive... Then e girl went to secondary, she grew up very pretty and popular... Her frenz started toking about their 1st time menses incidents... And she wondered y she didnt haf it still... Her frenz consoled her tt it may be due to her cancer... Coz she is still treating it...
And then, later on, her other ovary was taken away and then she cured her cancer...
But becoz shes not havin menses, she always felt tt there was something strange about her body... And felt tt she wasnt a completed woman...
When she turned 21, and was comfortable enuff... She went to tok to her Doc and asked her about it... Then the Doc told her she doesnt haf a womb... And had to run further tests...
And then the news came... Her chromosome was tested and shes a XY... Which means she isnt female, she is a male, genentically... E Y chromosome which defines a male gender was defective... Thus, she was having a female body, but without a womb...
She fell into depression and till today, her mum still didnt understand...
But fortunately for her, when she turned 24, she met the man of her dreams... She told him e truth tt genetically shes a male, and her bf accepted her as who she is and they got married...
Female 2 (E unfortunate case, to me)
Female 2 grew up as a female...
But she started having mustache when she reaches puberty... She had to shave them everyday... Even though she has boobs, she started to grow male genitals... And she is basically like a tom boy... She doesnt act feminine unlike other girls do... So she was bullied, ostracized due to her tom boyness...
Cut things short... Her mum brought her to doc, and again she was diagnoised wif e same prob as e above female... She is not a female, genectically, she is a guy... But her male chromosome was defective, and thus she had a female body...
She had to go thru numerous surgery... To remove her male genitals, remove her ovaries, to remove e source (i cant remember medical terms) tt produces e male hormones... But when they do tt, she loses her source of female hormones as well... And thus she would need to take constant medication (for her female hormones) till she menopause...
She also had to go thru conselling, and to attend courses to become a so called proper female... Basically, they mentioned, to start learning to becum a female from scratch...
--------------------------------------------------------------
The 2nd one was so much more unfortunate compared to e 1st... At least the 1st managed to find a husband who loves her for e way she is... Though i believed her beauty was a gift to tide her thru her unfortunate life... I do hope that the 2nd can be as lucky as her...
Evelyn (e host for e show) asked a stupid qns in my opinion... She asked, isit possible for a guy who grew up as having a guy's body, actually be female genetically?...
How is tt even possible!!!
For chromosomes (e thing which defines ur gender), females are XX, guys are XY... U cannot develop any male parts or watever if u r a XX (f)... If somehow u do, it means u r a XY (m), tts y it happens... Y is e element for male anyways... So, if u r a XY (m), there will be chances (1 out of 10,000 e doc said), tt Y is defective, and thus, ur X developed and u haf a female (XX) body...
So genetically, it is impossible for a male to haf a male body, grew up as a male, being XX... Becoz if u r XX (f), u do not haf to element to even develop any male reproductive systems...
In e cases tt when u haf both when u r born... It is birth defect... A body defect... Tis is a whole different issue altogether and its more serious and haf to be treated immediately for e baby to survive...
No matter, its kinda scary... Imagine 20 yrs later, u lived ur life as a female and suddenly u realised u r a guy... But i also admired e 1st girl's husband, who compromised on tt fact and also that they wouldnt be able to conceive... He is so ... I duno how to describe him... Other man would simply run away...
I do hope that life is smoother for the 2 ladies now...
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
I Myself Wonder Too
While i am still on the topic... Astra's new short entry caught my attention... And it evoked certain thots n memories about myself...
For me, i started taking photos since very young, wif lousy $100+ film camera of coz... Photos are sort of a rare thing in my house, we do haf a few albums of our family when i was small, but the family break up ruined most of them by my heart broken mother... Luckily some were saved and i managed to still haf some gd deal of them, though i haf no idea where are they now, after moving houses for more than 10 times... lol... Some where in e storeroom, yah, shd be...
I haf this thing about seeing photos (those tt haf ppl inside, not those pro pro landscape, artistic kind, i young time cannot appreciate, lol)... I like to see photos, when i was young, whenever i go to ppl's houses, e 1st thing i will ask them was whether they haf any photos tt they can show me...
Thinking of tis, brings back a nostalgic feel... Then u will see ur frenz dig out from storerooms, or deep into their drawers... Often, coated wif jus a little dust, they carried these huge, old, abit ugly (e trend then) photos albums, tt contains photos of their little family... More so often, the photos would haf turned yellow, but still not enuff to taint away the smiles on their faces...
And then we would jus sit there and browse thru each one in details, while e fren would explain enthusiastically wat happened in e photo, etc... And then e fren might snatch e album away for unflattering pics of themselves... Lol...
To me, photos are memories trigger tool... More often nowadays, if u ask ur fren to tell u about his/her childhood over a cup of mocha at coffeebean, he/she will usually say, "y leh? aiyah so long liao cannot remember le lah! like tt lor!"...
But now, everything's changed...
I also realised tt i take better private photos then compared to now... Lol, i think becoz negatives/film are expensive, and each photo will haf to be developed for e 1st time, and each costs 20cents even if its overexposed, or ugly... So taking photos then need alot of heart n feel... Otherwise, its wasting my hard saved money...
I used to be so passionante about it, whenever i am out, for outings especially, i make sure i carry my big ugly black lousy film cam, and buy tonnes of film, to capture every moment... Later i would rush to studios and get them developed, while waiting anxiously at home... Sometimes, i couldnt even wait, i would go for 1 hr express service... Lol...
Then when i got the pictures, i will look thru them carefully, checking... Throwing away all those cannot make it ones or problematic ones... Sometimes it can skip a frame i even haf photos in darkness... Lol... The studios then will develop everything, but now their services better of coz, those cannot ones, usually they wun charge u... And then i will choose a few pics for the free enlargements given by the studios, and wait for them 3 weeks later...
And then i will go buy lovely (now childish to me) huge photo albums for them... Then i will stick every photo according to sequence painstakingly...
Then came e digital cams... It was so convenient (supposedly)! I can view the picture be4 i take n i haf e POWER to delete them if i dun like them, or even take multiple shots of the same thing, jus as i wish, without worring about e ex films... Hahahah... Best of all, i dun even need to develop them, i jus transfer to my com, and TADA, i can view them any time i wan, and the photos wouldnt even turn yellow... Unless of coz if i wan them to, wif photoshop... Yah, i can also remove all e pimples on my face... Haha... Sounds so great!!!
Of coz, u can still develop photos if u like at a crazy 50 cents then (now its 30 cents), of coz, u can choose not to print it too since u can view them on ur com anyways, and heavy albums jus take up alot of space... Maybe jus print a few special ones will do...
Sounds like a great deal...
As the yrs passed... I realised i take more unneccessary photos... Lol, mainly photos of myself... Hahahah, i haf tonnes of them... Coz ugly ones i can deleted and then i can pose anyway i wan, in the privacy of my room (when my sis's not ard)...
But gradually, i stopped everything all together...
I stopped looking at my photos (com), i stopped taking photos of outings... If u asks me to specially take pictures for outings i also no heart liao... So much so tt, even if i went for a trip, i didnt even bother to take out my cam from my bag... Somehow, i dun do wat i used to love so much about anymore...
Occasionally i will take some pics, like when i wan to show ppl how my son looks like... Even though i was quited appalled when the 1st thing ppl said instead of e usual ur son so cute, "Y ur photo so exposed, y ur son blurry one!"...
Like how one fren of mine showed her funny pic (i still laugh at it even till now) to her fren, and fren replied, "Y u pose until lidat? Ur resolution never set enuff isit? U shd pose pretty mah!"
So much for sharing photos... So much for sharing moments...
I went to a place where i left off when i took pictures wif my film cam in e past... I went back again wif my digital cam tis time, thinking tt i wan t recapture all those moments, and tt i shd get slightly better photos since i can view them now... Instead of trial n errors then...
Then when i compared them... Its jus world's apart...
A 20 yrs old couldnt even take even 10% of the quality of photos tt a mere 13 yr old did...
Tt was then when i realised i lost it... It was wasnt e same anymore, even though, digitally i can make the photos, visually better... But the essence was lost...
Same place, same taker, same brain (if not more matured), but different soul...
To me it was a pity, its seemes so tough now even to pick up the old pieces... I cant imagine myself getting back a film camera, and doing the same as in e past, developin, buying, choosing, sticking, and sharing... It is ok if ppl said im crazy, when e rest r looking thru e pics thru their digi cams... And ive got to mail them e pics at a cost, or scan them at least, in order to email like e rest... I am ok wif wat ppl say... Just tt, i thot, its not e same anymore...
Anyways, do keep shooting pics ok? U will be so glad tt u did in ur older days... Though i cant imagine me as a wrinkled old woman using e mouse, shaking, viewing pictures of myself when i was 21 yrs old... Lol...
I believe i will pick it up again... Maybe jus not now... When i am financially stable... I shouldnt jus let something i was so once passionate about, disappear... I wan to be piled wif albums again... I wan to complain tt i got no space for them... And i will force my frenz to see them whe they come to my house... Lol...
At least, if i haf children, i would like them see wat happened... Even though there might be a missing gap... At least i can tell them stories and they haf pictures to relate to... Before they throw them away after i die... Lol...
Sharing wif them my precious moments...
I would like to share wif u a link of tis photographer...
From his blog, i can see Singapore through a different eye... His photos are very urban which i like, i dun like futuristic artistic modern photography, i prefer eu urban feel coz it brings back alot of memories, his each picture also evoke a theme or emotion...
Although his photos are digitally enhanced... I also said i haf nothing against digital effects... But it is the feel i got from his pictures tt made me follow his blog for a long time... I got the link thru a recommendation by a famous blogger long long ago... Who also appreciates e kind of pictures he take of Singapore n its ppl...
Though his skills are not great or perfect so to speak... But i enjoy them... Maybe not e recent one, its creepy to me... I haf tis thing about creepy n scary things, so do not ever send me those kind of things... Unless u hate me... Lol...
Oh and i like the wedding pictures he took... Got the feel leh, see liao i very touched...
http://l-inc.blogspot.com/
For me, i started taking photos since very young, wif lousy $100+ film camera of coz... Photos are sort of a rare thing in my house, we do haf a few albums of our family when i was small, but the family break up ruined most of them by my heart broken mother... Luckily some were saved and i managed to still haf some gd deal of them, though i haf no idea where are they now, after moving houses for more than 10 times... lol... Some where in e storeroom, yah, shd be...
I haf this thing about seeing photos (those tt haf ppl inside, not those pro pro landscape, artistic kind, i young time cannot appreciate, lol)... I like to see photos, when i was young, whenever i go to ppl's houses, e 1st thing i will ask them was whether they haf any photos tt they can show me...
Thinking of tis, brings back a nostalgic feel... Then u will see ur frenz dig out from storerooms, or deep into their drawers... Often, coated wif jus a little dust, they carried these huge, old, abit ugly (e trend then) photos albums, tt contains photos of their little family... More so often, the photos would haf turned yellow, but still not enuff to taint away the smiles on their faces...
And then we would jus sit there and browse thru each one in details, while e fren would explain enthusiastically wat happened in e photo, etc... And then e fren might snatch e album away for unflattering pics of themselves... Lol...
To me, photos are memories trigger tool... More often nowadays, if u ask ur fren to tell u about his/her childhood over a cup of mocha at coffeebean, he/she will usually say, "y leh? aiyah so long liao cannot remember le lah! like tt lor!"...
But now, everything's changed...
I also realised tt i take better private photos then compared to now... Lol, i think becoz negatives/film are expensive, and each photo will haf to be developed for e 1st time, and each costs 20cents even if its overexposed, or ugly... So taking photos then need alot of heart n feel... Otherwise, its wasting my hard saved money...
I used to be so passionante about it, whenever i am out, for outings especially, i make sure i carry my big ugly black lousy film cam, and buy tonnes of film, to capture every moment... Later i would rush to studios and get them developed, while waiting anxiously at home... Sometimes, i couldnt even wait, i would go for 1 hr express service... Lol...
Then when i got the pictures, i will look thru them carefully, checking... Throwing away all those cannot make it ones or problematic ones... Sometimes it can skip a frame i even haf photos in darkness... Lol... The studios then will develop everything, but now their services better of coz, those cannot ones, usually they wun charge u... And then i will choose a few pics for the free enlargements given by the studios, and wait for them 3 weeks later...
And then i will go buy lovely (now childish to me) huge photo albums for them... Then i will stick every photo according to sequence painstakingly...
Then came e digital cams... It was so convenient (supposedly)! I can view the picture be4 i take n i haf e POWER to delete them if i dun like them, or even take multiple shots of the same thing, jus as i wish, without worring about e ex films... Hahahah... Best of all, i dun even need to develop them, i jus transfer to my com, and TADA, i can view them any time i wan, and the photos wouldnt even turn yellow... Unless of coz if i wan them to, wif photoshop... Yah, i can also remove all e pimples on my face... Haha... Sounds so great!!!
Of coz, u can still develop photos if u like at a crazy 50 cents then (now its 30 cents), of coz, u can choose not to print it too since u can view them on ur com anyways, and heavy albums jus take up alot of space... Maybe jus print a few special ones will do...
Sounds like a great deal...
As the yrs passed... I realised i take more unneccessary photos... Lol, mainly photos of myself... Hahahah, i haf tonnes of them... Coz ugly ones i can deleted and then i can pose anyway i wan, in the privacy of my room (when my sis's not ard)...
But gradually, i stopped everything all together...
I stopped looking at my photos (com), i stopped taking photos of outings... If u asks me to specially take pictures for outings i also no heart liao... So much so tt, even if i went for a trip, i didnt even bother to take out my cam from my bag... Somehow, i dun do wat i used to love so much about anymore...
Occasionally i will take some pics, like when i wan to show ppl how my son looks like... Even though i was quited appalled when the 1st thing ppl said instead of e usual ur son so cute, "Y ur photo so exposed, y ur son blurry one!"...
Like how one fren of mine showed her funny pic (i still laugh at it even till now) to her fren, and fren replied, "Y u pose until lidat? Ur resolution never set enuff isit? U shd pose pretty mah!"
So much for sharing photos... So much for sharing moments...
I went to a place where i left off when i took pictures wif my film cam in e past... I went back again wif my digital cam tis time, thinking tt i wan t recapture all those moments, and tt i shd get slightly better photos since i can view them now... Instead of trial n errors then...
Then when i compared them... Its jus world's apart...
A 20 yrs old couldnt even take even 10% of the quality of photos tt a mere 13 yr old did...
Tt was then when i realised i lost it... It was wasnt e same anymore, even though, digitally i can make the photos, visually better... But the essence was lost...
Same place, same taker, same brain (if not more matured), but different soul...
To me it was a pity, its seemes so tough now even to pick up the old pieces... I cant imagine myself getting back a film camera, and doing the same as in e past, developin, buying, choosing, sticking, and sharing... It is ok if ppl said im crazy, when e rest r looking thru e pics thru their digi cams... And ive got to mail them e pics at a cost, or scan them at least, in order to email like e rest... I am ok wif wat ppl say... Just tt, i thot, its not e same anymore...
Anyways, do keep shooting pics ok? U will be so glad tt u did in ur older days... Though i cant imagine me as a wrinkled old woman using e mouse, shaking, viewing pictures of myself when i was 21 yrs old... Lol...
I believe i will pick it up again... Maybe jus not now... When i am financially stable... I shouldnt jus let something i was so once passionate about, disappear... I wan to be piled wif albums again... I wan to complain tt i got no space for them... And i will force my frenz to see them whe they come to my house... Lol...
At least, if i haf children, i would like them see wat happened... Even though there might be a missing gap... At least i can tell them stories and they haf pictures to relate to... Before they throw them away after i die... Lol...
Sharing wif them my precious moments...
I would like to share wif u a link of tis photographer...
From his blog, i can see Singapore through a different eye... His photos are very urban which i like, i dun like futuristic artistic modern photography, i prefer eu urban feel coz it brings back alot of memories, his each picture also evoke a theme or emotion...
Although his photos are digitally enhanced... I also said i haf nothing against digital effects... But it is the feel i got from his pictures tt made me follow his blog for a long time... I got the link thru a recommendation by a famous blogger long long ago... Who also appreciates e kind of pictures he take of Singapore n its ppl...
Though his skills are not great or perfect so to speak... But i enjoy them... Maybe not e recent one, its creepy to me... I haf tis thing about creepy n scary things, so do not ever send me those kind of things... Unless u hate me... Lol...
Oh and i like the wedding pictures he took... Got the feel leh, see liao i very touched...
http://l-inc.blogspot.com/
Violent Son
My son is so violent... Hes like to play it rough...
Just yest, while he was sleeping wif me... He kicked me at my rib cage, and while i got up, cringing in pain, he jumped and his head knocked e bottom of my lower jaw and thrusted it upwards to my upper jaw, as hard as he could!
I was so glad my tongue wasnt bitten off by the sudden action! I swore if hes any bigger, i would haf been dead...
And then u can say byebye to tis blog...
So if i disappeared, just treat it as i was murdered by my son... Tt ungrateful!!! LOL...
Then again, i wonder wats going to happen to him if im not ard anymore... Hmm, aiyah, crazy... Choi!
Just yest, while he was sleeping wif me... He kicked me at my rib cage, and while i got up, cringing in pain, he jumped and his head knocked e bottom of my lower jaw and thrusted it upwards to my upper jaw, as hard as he could!
I was so glad my tongue wasnt bitten off by the sudden action! I swore if hes any bigger, i would haf been dead...
And then u can say byebye to tis blog...
So if i disappeared, just treat it as i was murdered by my son... Tt ungrateful!!! LOL...
Then again, i wonder wats going to happen to him if im not ard anymore... Hmm, aiyah, crazy... Choi!
This Is What I Meant
I was sorting out my loads of messy pictures in com... And i happen to spot 2 photos in one of my others others misc or watsoever folder...
I reacted quite greatly coz i dun remember having them or how they got into my com, then again i seem to haf tonnes of photos like "these"... But the moment i saw it, and while i was organising them, tt 2 photos happen to land up side by side... And i actually let out a snobbish chucker...
Very bitchy of me... Lol...
Anyways, those who noe me or those who read my entries from beginning... I haf been very grouchy about the current photography mentality most of the times ya? About how i am disgusted with ppl of e current trend jus becoz digital cameras becum such a common thing and so those ppl claim tt they r DAMN GOOD PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS?
This is wat i called "A PICTURE SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS", though i think i will still speak more words than the picture... Lol...
This is e photo i saw initially, and i dissed it off immediately, thinkin wat a lousily taken photo which serves no other meaning unless tis is the taker's (i call them takers, ppl who take photo, not shoot) BLK... I almost deleted it...
This is the kind of result u get when u TAKE a photo...
I find it extremely familiar though, i seemed to haf seen it somewhere...
Then i remembered... I knew actually who was the taker, and where ive seen it...
And afterwards, i saw tis...
Holy crap!!!
2 photos of the same thing... Oops, am i supposed to be impressed? ( I am so nasty!)
And tis photo was in tt taker's portfolio under the PHOTOGRAHY SECTION...
This is wat i mean by DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY and how digital photos are not by times a million similar to PHOTOGRAPHY! And tt "takers" should never hao lian, show off and booast how gd how gd their skills are, how gd how gd their photos are! How skillful does one need to view tt bloody PREVIEW MONITOR SCREEN on ur cam?
Any tom, dick or harry, can open the before photo in PHOTOSHOP, and then adjust overall levels, contrast and saturation... TADA!!! U get exactly e same thing as the after!!! To prove my pt, i actually tried it, and i didnt even need to get to e saturation to get exactly e same thing...
it is no big deal editing digital photos anyways, since digital photos are meant to be edited... I read in a book about photography tt stated, "ALL DIGITALLY TAKEN PHOTOGRAPHS WILL ALWAYS NEED SOME FORM OF EDITING DUE TO THE LIMITATIONS OF PIXEL ART, IN OTHER WORDS, DIGITAL PHOTOS ARE NEVER PERFECT AND CAN NEVER REPLACE TRADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY."
I myself do enhance my photos, especially photos of ppl, coz i only haf one lousy digital camera now... I will remove flaws, color correct etc... However, i do not show off those pics and tell ppl, "Hey look, tis is my work, my photography skills are excellent, dun u think my photos look gorgeous?"... I above all, do not put photos like tt into my portfolio and bloody hell so proud about it...
Tis is like cheating!!! Unless u r trying to showcase ur photoshop editing skills, which are crap anyways since like i said, anyone can do it...
U can enhance ur photos with the best design software ard, but u can never insert the essence into ur photo... Reals gd photos will evoke emotions, not impressions like, "Wah, the colors so vibrant! So cool! So Nice!"
On e gd side of some, i've seen excellent digital photos, wif true essence and enhanced effects... Overall, those pictures are overwhelming, and of coz, their editing skills are not jus about levels, contrast n saturation... Those are wat I called true photography... Though i still prefer enhanced tradditional photography...
U may noe who the "taker" is, but i feel there is no need for any names here...
However, do not get me wrong... I haf nothing against ppl who edit their photos, coz like i said, i do it too, though its inevitable... I also know tradditional photography involves editing as well, though seldom in the older days except for prints n publishing... Both haf merged nowadays...
But i haf something against ppl, who take mediocre photos, then use basic photoshop to enhance it, put in their portfolio, and then claim tt its not edited, or edited to minimum, and then booast about how gd their skills are... How they themselves claim to love photography and how professional looking their pictures turn out...
Some also like to go to gardens n shoot close ups of beautiful flowers using micro function... Of coz, the pictures are going to be visually stunning, coz the flowers are already beautiful with or without saturation increase... And then funny thing about ppl is, outsiders see liao will say, "Wah, so pretty, u take great pictures!"...
It wasnt like tis in the past... But of coz, like i always say, technology advancement taints certain aspects of culture, practise, morals, spirits, etc... And certain true elements of beings would be sacrificed along e way until it becums history to those who haf never seen them...
Digital cams were invented for convenience... Not a shortcut to becum egoistic show offies!!!
Lol, i think alot of young ppl r going to be mad at me...
Now, off to look at some REAL PHOTOS!~!!
I reacted quite greatly coz i dun remember having them or how they got into my com, then again i seem to haf tonnes of photos like "these"... But the moment i saw it, and while i was organising them, tt 2 photos happen to land up side by side... And i actually let out a snobbish chucker...
Very bitchy of me... Lol...
Anyways, those who noe me or those who read my entries from beginning... I haf been very grouchy about the current photography mentality most of the times ya? About how i am disgusted with ppl of e current trend jus becoz digital cameras becum such a common thing and so those ppl claim tt they r DAMN GOOD PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS?
This is wat i called "A PICTURE SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS", though i think i will still speak more words than the picture... Lol...
This is e photo i saw initially, and i dissed it off immediately, thinkin wat a lousily taken photo which serves no other meaning unless tis is the taker's (i call them takers, ppl who take photo, not shoot) BLK... I almost deleted it...
This is the kind of result u get when u TAKE a photo...
I find it extremely familiar though, i seemed to haf seen it somewhere...
Then i remembered... I knew actually who was the taker, and where ive seen it...
And afterwards, i saw tis...
Holy crap!!!
2 photos of the same thing... Oops, am i supposed to be impressed? ( I am so nasty!)
And tis photo was in tt taker's portfolio under the PHOTOGRAHY SECTION...
This is wat i mean by DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY and how digital photos are not by times a million similar to PHOTOGRAPHY! And tt "takers" should never hao lian, show off and booast how gd how gd their skills are, how gd how gd their photos are! How skillful does one need to view tt bloody PREVIEW MONITOR SCREEN on ur cam?
Any tom, dick or harry, can open the before photo in PHOTOSHOP, and then adjust overall levels, contrast and saturation... TADA!!! U get exactly e same thing as the after!!! To prove my pt, i actually tried it, and i didnt even need to get to e saturation to get exactly e same thing...
it is no big deal editing digital photos anyways, since digital photos are meant to be edited... I read in a book about photography tt stated, "ALL DIGITALLY TAKEN PHOTOGRAPHS WILL ALWAYS NEED SOME FORM OF EDITING DUE TO THE LIMITATIONS OF PIXEL ART, IN OTHER WORDS, DIGITAL PHOTOS ARE NEVER PERFECT AND CAN NEVER REPLACE TRADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY."
I myself do enhance my photos, especially photos of ppl, coz i only haf one lousy digital camera now... I will remove flaws, color correct etc... However, i do not show off those pics and tell ppl, "Hey look, tis is my work, my photography skills are excellent, dun u think my photos look gorgeous?"... I above all, do not put photos like tt into my portfolio and bloody hell so proud about it...
Tis is like cheating!!! Unless u r trying to showcase ur photoshop editing skills, which are crap anyways since like i said, anyone can do it...
U can enhance ur photos with the best design software ard, but u can never insert the essence into ur photo... Reals gd photos will evoke emotions, not impressions like, "Wah, the colors so vibrant! So cool! So Nice!"
On e gd side of some, i've seen excellent digital photos, wif true essence and enhanced effects... Overall, those pictures are overwhelming, and of coz, their editing skills are not jus about levels, contrast n saturation... Those are wat I called true photography... Though i still prefer enhanced tradditional photography...
U may noe who the "taker" is, but i feel there is no need for any names here...
However, do not get me wrong... I haf nothing against ppl who edit their photos, coz like i said, i do it too, though its inevitable... I also know tradditional photography involves editing as well, though seldom in the older days except for prints n publishing... Both haf merged nowadays...
But i haf something against ppl, who take mediocre photos, then use basic photoshop to enhance it, put in their portfolio, and then claim tt its not edited, or edited to minimum, and then booast about how gd their skills are... How they themselves claim to love photography and how professional looking their pictures turn out...
Some also like to go to gardens n shoot close ups of beautiful flowers using micro function... Of coz, the pictures are going to be visually stunning, coz the flowers are already beautiful with or without saturation increase... And then funny thing about ppl is, outsiders see liao will say, "Wah, so pretty, u take great pictures!"...
It wasnt like tis in the past... But of coz, like i always say, technology advancement taints certain aspects of culture, practise, morals, spirits, etc... And certain true elements of beings would be sacrificed along e way until it becums history to those who haf never seen them...
Digital cams were invented for convenience... Not a shortcut to becum egoistic show offies!!!
Lol, i think alot of young ppl r going to be mad at me...
Now, off to look at some REAL PHOTOS!~!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
All Done
Yea, i went to the company liao...
I very buay paiseh asked them to fetch me there from my house, so that i no need take cab... LOL... I waited at the bus stop in front of my BLK, sweating like hell... Very hot!!!
Then i chatted with some, then started my training wif one of the guys... Did not really take alot of time, coz he doesnt really understand photoshop, and they dun haf dreamweaver so i cant teach verbally...
I basically sat there in the so called conference room, drank Just Tea green tea (though i hate tea, but i didnt cringe, i didnt noe y, maybe i was thirsty n hungry), and then tok n tok...
Then it started to pour like mad!!!
Then i chatted wif the Boss, and then settled the money... Yeah! I am going to sit quietly at home and wait for the money to go into my acc 2 days later...
Then e Boss said, "Its pouring! U wan a lift?"...
Again, i buay paiseh and said, "OK!!!"...
I am so so so glad tt its over... Everything is done!!! And i no need do web anymore!!!
!!! My inuyasha counter still not back yet!!!
I very buay paiseh asked them to fetch me there from my house, so that i no need take cab... LOL... I waited at the bus stop in front of my BLK, sweating like hell... Very hot!!!
Then i chatted with some, then started my training wif one of the guys... Did not really take alot of time, coz he doesnt really understand photoshop, and they dun haf dreamweaver so i cant teach verbally...
I basically sat there in the so called conference room, drank Just Tea green tea (though i hate tea, but i didnt cringe, i didnt noe y, maybe i was thirsty n hungry), and then tok n tok...
Then it started to pour like mad!!!
Then i chatted wif the Boss, and then settled the money... Yeah! I am going to sit quietly at home and wait for the money to go into my acc 2 days later...
Then e Boss said, "Its pouring! U wan a lift?"...
Again, i buay paiseh and said, "OK!!!"...
I am so so so glad tt its over... Everything is done!!! And i no need do web anymore!!!
!!! My inuyasha counter still not back yet!!!
Monday, January 16, 2006
Of Technologies, Mobile, & Brands
Shuzhen smsed me saying her phone got prob, so it means tt they also didnt solve her prob... So i told her, next time, spend alittle more money n get a better phone...
Then she exclaimed, NOKIA NOT LIKE TT!!!
Lol, then i said, NOKIA worst lor!!!, then i continued ur Nokia also spoilt wat!!! Anyways, its heng suay one bah, my fren use ur phone for near 2 yrs liao, no prob... And my phone, other users haf never encountered my prob...
Something like tt... So it prompted me to write tis entry...
I haf problems buying mobiles, coz arh, the more ppl u noe, u'll realised all the brands kena condemned already, which unless its O2 (clean reputation) , or those duno wat brand tt ppl didnt even feel its worth to mention...
I myself started with Panasonic donkey yrs ago... I paid a huge sum for it, (mobiles were rather cheap then, so e amt i paid was huge), i paid near $400 for it (GD 92? 95? 97? Cant remember, the one wif the multi color screens n customised caller id, one of its kind then, e lightest phone then too), jus when it dropped to $200 jus a week later... GOD DAMN IT!!! Plus, i even bought an extra batt ($90 for the lion lithium duno wat, Nokia was using e older kind then, which spoils easily but very cheap)... I haf something about batt too, i wil usually make sure i haf extra batt... Luckily my current one free one more... Lol...
I bought it coz it so cool... Wahahahah, for young ppl actually... During tt time, if u haf tt panasonic phone its like such a cool thing, coz its one of its kind, and Nokia was still ugly and huge... But of coz, i didnt buy it coz of it... I bought it coz i like the phone, its sleek, light, small...
Then of coz, i encountered tonnes of prob wif it... Sent for repair and yet didnt work... But ultimately e prob was solved when they finally changed the whole motherboard inside my mobile...
I then changed to another newer Panasonic phone (e 1st color phone for Pana) then, which was said for Designers!!! Muahahahah... I was in poly yr 1 already then... My 1st color phone anyways, if u dun already noe, i haf tis thing wif colors too... I wanted to buy Samsung's 1st color phone though, which was condemned by ppl like crazy... Telling me dun waste money... And the phone is huge too!!! Coz Samsung was like new in the business in sg...
The phone did not haf any prob, jus abit stiff wif the keypads...
Then i later on got smittened by Samsung T500, which i saw too late and normal hp shops dun sell anymore... So i went to authorised dealers and got it at $800... Very small, got crystals somemore!!! And can put pictures, again, not alot of phones can do tat then...
But of coz, i stood on tt phone for a long time till every phone outdated mine, and ppl kept laughing at my old phone... Lol... I stood by it even though all those cool phones wif cam or watevernot came into e market, n everybody is having a better phone than me... Haha...
Coz simply, i love my phone and i couldnt find any tt beats it... I am not into heavy features coz i think its goin to cause probs...
Even my colleagues complained seeing my phone is an eye sore!!! :(
And then, i stumbled on my current phone... Touch screen phone tts smaller than PDA phones(though huge compared to my prev phones), lesser PDA features, looks gd enuff, coz got white, i got tis thing about white phones (all my phones n cam r white) and touch screen... And best of all, at an affordable crazy price... Duno $400 or 400+ forgot...
Only prob is its MOTOROLA!!! And i dun like motorola... Then again, i also duno wat i liked... Ppl condemned Motorola, Samsung, Sony Errisson, etc... Nokia no need to say, its always at the bottom... I heard Motorola is damn not userfrendly...
Personally, i felt Nokia caused its own death by being so commercialised... Refusing to solve their bugs, (or cant?)... Then again, so are the rest...
Actually before tt, i at many times wanted to stay wif Samsung, i wanted to get one tt i like, but e review was so bad it turned me off... And also, Samsung was a popular brand then, but of coz, everybody complained about it... I also considered back Panasonic, jus tt their phones were ugly until jus recently...
My sis was a Nokia and Sony E user, she changed 8 phones within 2 yrs plus, so i noe the phones...
Then like no choice liao leh, even though O2 was e thing then, and alot of rich chaps all switched to it... But i duno wanna spend 1000 bucks n a PDA phone, simply i dun need all those features, it'll jus go to waste...
Thus, my current phone was e best for me... And i still love it, even though i still haven like Moto yet... It has more than enuff things for me than i needed... Its external slot can hold up to 2GB, a speakers phone, play mp3, got radio, got fancy handwriting features which i love like hell, can view any office files, and its LINUX OS!
Even though it has one prob, but i had already managed to counter it... So i can live wif tt...
E only prob is i cant change phone already... Coz i cannot switch back to a non touch screen phone, I JUST CANT!!! I cant dwngrade anymore... I am pampered!!! Lol... And i dun wanna upgrade to PDA phones... So i am stuck in between, and i dun think they will come out wif any tis kind of range of phones in e market... Bek Cek...
Nvm lah, see how it goes...
Shuzhen was saying she wans a realiable phone, if got sell black n white phone, she dun mind buying... But i said, unfortunately phones nowdays no matter wat brand (even O2 got alot of prob lor) all not reliable anymore... They haf shorter life spans compared to old ones... Coz of all the features they tried to pack into it, more bugs and technology itself will phase out...
Tis is something inevitable so we got to live wif it... Especially in our so called IT ERA... I pity those who hate to spend alot on gadgets, but still got to get it coz its inevitable... Shuzhen is like tt, it will kill her to spend so much on a stupid hp, for me, i dun mind spending alot if i found one tt i really really really like... So i dun mind...
And i am a very easily bored person, i wan to see new things, and i wan to haf new phones after some time, tts if i can find something tt i like...
Same thing wif computers... I always prided myself for using a Pentium Pro and 96 MB Ram, 4GB of hard disk space, no writer, up till the mid of my year 2 in poly... Can u imagine how i used my softwares then? Lol, i can even run 3dsmax...
And its Pentium Pro leh!!! Not Pentium 1!
And its so fast and run all my prgrams smoothly... I haf aBsolutely no prob wif it... Which is of coz, until i cannot forcefully install e new softwares in it anymore... I reluctantly changed to Pentium 4 then... Which gave me so much prob even till today...
Aiyo, so long liao... Anways, going to the company to give some trainin tmr then can get my money le!!!
Ciao~
Then she exclaimed, NOKIA NOT LIKE TT!!!
Lol, then i said, NOKIA worst lor!!!, then i continued ur Nokia also spoilt wat!!! Anyways, its heng suay one bah, my fren use ur phone for near 2 yrs liao, no prob... And my phone, other users haf never encountered my prob...
Something like tt... So it prompted me to write tis entry...
I haf problems buying mobiles, coz arh, the more ppl u noe, u'll realised all the brands kena condemned already, which unless its O2 (clean reputation) , or those duno wat brand tt ppl didnt even feel its worth to mention...
I myself started with Panasonic donkey yrs ago... I paid a huge sum for it, (mobiles were rather cheap then, so e amt i paid was huge), i paid near $400 for it (GD 92? 95? 97? Cant remember, the one wif the multi color screens n customised caller id, one of its kind then, e lightest phone then too), jus when it dropped to $200 jus a week later... GOD DAMN IT!!! Plus, i even bought an extra batt ($90 for the lion lithium duno wat, Nokia was using e older kind then, which spoils easily but very cheap)... I haf something about batt too, i wil usually make sure i haf extra batt... Luckily my current one free one more... Lol...
I bought it coz it so cool... Wahahahah, for young ppl actually... During tt time, if u haf tt panasonic phone its like such a cool thing, coz its one of its kind, and Nokia was still ugly and huge... But of coz, i didnt buy it coz of it... I bought it coz i like the phone, its sleek, light, small...
Then of coz, i encountered tonnes of prob wif it... Sent for repair and yet didnt work... But ultimately e prob was solved when they finally changed the whole motherboard inside my mobile...
I then changed to another newer Panasonic phone (e 1st color phone for Pana) then, which was said for Designers!!! Muahahahah... I was in poly yr 1 already then... My 1st color phone anyways, if u dun already noe, i haf tis thing wif colors too... I wanted to buy Samsung's 1st color phone though, which was condemned by ppl like crazy... Telling me dun waste money... And the phone is huge too!!! Coz Samsung was like new in the business in sg...
The phone did not haf any prob, jus abit stiff wif the keypads...
Then i later on got smittened by Samsung T500, which i saw too late and normal hp shops dun sell anymore... So i went to authorised dealers and got it at $800... Very small, got crystals somemore!!! And can put pictures, again, not alot of phones can do tat then...
But of coz, i stood on tt phone for a long time till every phone outdated mine, and ppl kept laughing at my old phone... Lol... I stood by it even though all those cool phones wif cam or watevernot came into e market, n everybody is having a better phone than me... Haha...
Coz simply, i love my phone and i couldnt find any tt beats it... I am not into heavy features coz i think its goin to cause probs...
Even my colleagues complained seeing my phone is an eye sore!!! :(
And then, i stumbled on my current phone... Touch screen phone tts smaller than PDA phones(though huge compared to my prev phones), lesser PDA features, looks gd enuff, coz got white, i got tis thing about white phones (all my phones n cam r white) and touch screen... And best of all, at an affordable crazy price... Duno $400 or 400+ forgot...
Only prob is its MOTOROLA!!! And i dun like motorola... Then again, i also duno wat i liked... Ppl condemned Motorola, Samsung, Sony Errisson, etc... Nokia no need to say, its always at the bottom... I heard Motorola is damn not userfrendly...
Personally, i felt Nokia caused its own death by being so commercialised... Refusing to solve their bugs, (or cant?)... Then again, so are the rest...
Actually before tt, i at many times wanted to stay wif Samsung, i wanted to get one tt i like, but e review was so bad it turned me off... And also, Samsung was a popular brand then, but of coz, everybody complained about it... I also considered back Panasonic, jus tt their phones were ugly until jus recently...
My sis was a Nokia and Sony E user, she changed 8 phones within 2 yrs plus, so i noe the phones...
Then like no choice liao leh, even though O2 was e thing then, and alot of rich chaps all switched to it... But i duno wanna spend 1000 bucks n a PDA phone, simply i dun need all those features, it'll jus go to waste...
Thus, my current phone was e best for me... And i still love it, even though i still haven like Moto yet... It has more than enuff things for me than i needed... Its external slot can hold up to 2GB, a speakers phone, play mp3, got radio, got fancy handwriting features which i love like hell, can view any office files, and its LINUX OS!
Even though it has one prob, but i had already managed to counter it... So i can live wif tt...
E only prob is i cant change phone already... Coz i cannot switch back to a non touch screen phone, I JUST CANT!!! I cant dwngrade anymore... I am pampered!!! Lol... And i dun wanna upgrade to PDA phones... So i am stuck in between, and i dun think they will come out wif any tis kind of range of phones in e market... Bek Cek...
Nvm lah, see how it goes...
Shuzhen was saying she wans a realiable phone, if got sell black n white phone, she dun mind buying... But i said, unfortunately phones nowdays no matter wat brand (even O2 got alot of prob lor) all not reliable anymore... They haf shorter life spans compared to old ones... Coz of all the features they tried to pack into it, more bugs and technology itself will phase out...
Tis is something inevitable so we got to live wif it... Especially in our so called IT ERA... I pity those who hate to spend alot on gadgets, but still got to get it coz its inevitable... Shuzhen is like tt, it will kill her to spend so much on a stupid hp, for me, i dun mind spending alot if i found one tt i really really really like... So i dun mind...
And i am a very easily bored person, i wan to see new things, and i wan to haf new phones after some time, tts if i can find something tt i like...
Same thing wif computers... I always prided myself for using a Pentium Pro and 96 MB Ram, 4GB of hard disk space, no writer, up till the mid of my year 2 in poly... Can u imagine how i used my softwares then? Lol, i can even run 3dsmax...
And its Pentium Pro leh!!! Not Pentium 1!
And its so fast and run all my prgrams smoothly... I haf aBsolutely no prob wif it... Which is of coz, until i cannot forcefully install e new softwares in it anymore... I reluctantly changed to Pentium 4 then... Which gave me so much prob even till today...
Aiyo, so long liao... Anways, going to the company to give some trainin tmr then can get my money le!!!
Ciao~
Sunday, January 15, 2006
No Money Liao
I am so so so broke... Its my fault actually... I was in a bad mood and i went for a little shopping therapy on last fri...
I bought a white shirt from Iora, a red/white flora mini skirt from WH, a ribbon foam slipper from Project Shop, and watched a movie (geisha, GV Yishun)... And there it goes, 100+ off my bank... And not forgetting i jus paid my M1 HP bill, my broadband, my toiletires, my cosmetics, and of coz, my daily food, and of coz, transport... Which is like crazy money!!!
I went to collect my phone today, i got back my baby... The prob is still not solved, but nvm, i can live wif tt... Was trying my luck anyways... Then i went to change my slipper at Wisma, but they dun haf smaller sizes... So i asked them to call and check and i hopped over to Paragon and got the right size... Even though it is still slightly bigger, but i can also live wif tt...
But I still feel like buying clothes and shoes... I very long never buy shoes le!!! Slipper not counted coz i dun really haf slippers... But i managed to stop myself... I also wan to get some bags...
Theres still some bags i need to buy, i wan a black bag tt can put A4 stuffs inside... I also wanna get white, black, medium size bags for work... Only prob is i am not working yet, so i delayed n delayed...
I also wanna get new sets of working clothes, coz my current clothes like all kinda wear off liao... Its been a long time since i buy new working clothes...
And my $10 only pair of jeans, doesnt fit me anymore, its getting huge till i no need to button also can take off...
But nvm lah, all these not so impt yet... It will come slowly...
I do hope i can get back the remaining money for my project though...
Tmr!!! Tmr!!!
I bought a white shirt from Iora, a red/white flora mini skirt from WH, a ribbon foam slipper from Project Shop, and watched a movie (geisha, GV Yishun)... And there it goes, 100+ off my bank... And not forgetting i jus paid my M1 HP bill, my broadband, my toiletires, my cosmetics, and of coz, my daily food, and of coz, transport... Which is like crazy money!!!
I went to collect my phone today, i got back my baby... The prob is still not solved, but nvm, i can live wif tt... Was trying my luck anyways... Then i went to change my slipper at Wisma, but they dun haf smaller sizes... So i asked them to call and check and i hopped over to Paragon and got the right size... Even though it is still slightly bigger, but i can also live wif tt...
But I still feel like buying clothes and shoes... I very long never buy shoes le!!! Slipper not counted coz i dun really haf slippers... But i managed to stop myself... I also wan to get some bags...
Theres still some bags i need to buy, i wan a black bag tt can put A4 stuffs inside... I also wanna get white, black, medium size bags for work... Only prob is i am not working yet, so i delayed n delayed...
I also wanna get new sets of working clothes, coz my current clothes like all kinda wear off liao... Its been a long time since i buy new working clothes...
And my $10 only pair of jeans, doesnt fit me anymore, its getting huge till i no need to button also can take off...
But nvm lah, all these not so impt yet... It will come slowly...
I do hope i can get back the remaining money for my project though...
Tmr!!! Tmr!!!
Perfect Gentleman
This is funny, i grabbed tis from a teen's blog...
Her sister whos a workin adult, was teaching her how to nab the right guy and apparently toking about guys in sg...
"Guys go through a few stages in their lives. First, it's the Adorable Little Boy stage. Then they go through Bratty Boy stage. Eventually, they enter Perfect Gentleman stage. Of course, when they're in the latter, occasionally they lapse into Egoistic Bastard.
For one, I think many boys take forever to enter Perfect Gentleman stage. (My sister reckons Singaporean men are like that. I wouldn't know!) Sometimes, they even skip Gentleman stage altogether, and immediately prance into Egoistic Bastard."
God damn it!!! Tis is so true... Muahahahaha...
Her sister whos a workin adult, was teaching her how to nab the right guy and apparently toking about guys in sg...
"Guys go through a few stages in their lives. First, it's the Adorable Little Boy stage. Then they go through Bratty Boy stage. Eventually, they enter Perfect Gentleman stage. Of course, when they're in the latter, occasionally they lapse into Egoistic Bastard.
For one, I think many boys take forever to enter Perfect Gentleman stage. (My sister reckons Singaporean men are like that. I wouldn't know!) Sometimes, they even skip Gentleman stage altogether, and immediately prance into Egoistic Bastard."
God damn it!!! Tis is so true... Muahahahaha...
Movie Review: Heirloom
Hmm, the movie is not scary... Which is like HENG ARH!!! Lol...
But i am still affected though... Not becoz its horror or wat, its becoz of the plot... I actually cried... Lol... Think ppl will laugh at me...
The story has a very tragical ending, and there were alot of ppl who suffered... And of coz, some innocent lives taken... Its very sad and emotional especially to the end when the whole plot reviews itself...
But of coz, not knowing wat to expect initially, u scare urself more, but at the end of the day, there were no images of ghosts at all... In fact, the humans imagery were more scary... Coz they made u think tat they are the ghosts...
It toks about keeping and controlling child spirit by feeding blood to it foetus corpse... The idea is rather creepy, as i had known several frenz who kept them (in e past, ive not in contact wif them for yrs)... Who had to rush home periodically to feed their blood... And they had to place toys at home as well, for the xiao gui to play... Which of coz, u can hear them playing at night...
Anyways, keeping them in return gives u fortune... And some are so powerful that you can use them to kill ur rivals, competitors, or enemies...
But dun ask me wat my frenz kept them for, i dun wanna tok about it... Coz its evil, to me...
Im not going to explain e plot to prevent spoilers...
But wat surprises me about e show is tt, i was quite impressed by the quality they put up as a Taiwan movie... I thot Taiwan films are generally sloppy and besides, only Eng Wah is showing tis film, so i thot it would be crap...
But it proved me wrong... E film quality was gd, shots were artistic enuff, characters are natural and they do not speak wif fake chinese accent... Best of all, the story actually managed to move n affect me... And tts more than i had expected...
Overall rating 3 STARS
But i am still affected though... Not becoz its horror or wat, its becoz of the plot... I actually cried... Lol... Think ppl will laugh at me...
The story has a very tragical ending, and there were alot of ppl who suffered... And of coz, some innocent lives taken... Its very sad and emotional especially to the end when the whole plot reviews itself...
But of coz, not knowing wat to expect initially, u scare urself more, but at the end of the day, there were no images of ghosts at all... In fact, the humans imagery were more scary... Coz they made u think tat they are the ghosts...
It toks about keeping and controlling child spirit by feeding blood to it foetus corpse... The idea is rather creepy, as i had known several frenz who kept them (in e past, ive not in contact wif them for yrs)... Who had to rush home periodically to feed their blood... And they had to place toys at home as well, for the xiao gui to play... Which of coz, u can hear them playing at night...
Anyways, keeping them in return gives u fortune... And some are so powerful that you can use them to kill ur rivals, competitors, or enemies...
But dun ask me wat my frenz kept them for, i dun wanna tok about it... Coz its evil, to me...
Im not going to explain e plot to prevent spoilers...
But wat surprises me about e show is tt, i was quite impressed by the quality they put up as a Taiwan movie... I thot Taiwan films are generally sloppy and besides, only Eng Wah is showing tis film, so i thot it would be crap...
But it proved me wrong... E film quality was gd, shots were artistic enuff, characters are natural and they do not speak wif fake chinese accent... Best of all, the story actually managed to move n affect me... And tts more than i had expected...
Overall rating 3 STARS
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