Untitled

(This entry is not gonna make any sense. I am jus voicing out my thots.

Things arent gonna be resolved or explained thru mere words, so dun ask...)



How long do you intend to keep this going on?



How long do you expect me to guess your thots?



How many times do you want hear ,"im ok"?



And how many times do i have to hear you say the same thing?



When we know its fucking not.



Sometimes i do wonder, y do ppl change along the way. Y does the past equals to dust when you reach saturation.

Lost my hp~ So sms me with ur name if u have my no.

I kept wanting to post this but never did. Wanted to blog on actual day but never did, waited and wanted to blog, and nv did again. It was saved as draft with only a few lines on 19 Oct i think, and now its 1st of Nov already.

I really hate to come in every other 3 mths or so, jus to post a damn long crazy entry. But then, wat to do, no time sia. I am busy, no time or no mood. And then when i finally sit down and type. I lose the feeling already. -_-" No feeling = No Power

These are the lines...

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Sometimes i truly wonder if heaven/god or whoever up there overseeing us is testing me or simply, playing a joke on me.


Maybe its jus fate/destiny that's playing me out.


More often than not,
-----------------------------

More often than not wat? Wat sia? Lol.

I lost my hp weeks back.

Aiya, im so distracted now. I'll continue another time. 30 mins left only.

HAPPY BDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YATI!!!!!!!!!

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I had wanted to blog, but just after i managed to type that line, i was caught up heavily with work... Lol. And now i have no time. Haha.

So yea Yati, ur bday deserves a whole entry itself!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!!!

Fallen

I had fallen. Into my never ending pit, or so it seems.
I tried to pick myself up, but ive never managed to climb out of the hole.

I did try, many a times when i was at rock bottom, i pushed myself. Like wat ppl say, when u are at the bottom, theres no where to go but upwards.

However, just when i saw that ray of light, i had to take the wrong step and fall deeper but fortunately i still managed to get a grip. And the cycle just repeats over n over again.

But I am so tired climbin.

There were times when i lost my grip, or when my energy was totally drained, i simply gave up and climbed back down to the bottom. I stayed quiet and took a long break to recharge myself. Some times i just live there coz i cant even be bothered trying the never ending climb.

Often, there were people who passed by. I was out of reach and they couldnt help me. Other times, it was too risky for them to endanger their lives, trying to help.

These ppl asked me, "Its been so many years, you might not even make it, y dun u just give up? Let yourself go."

Seriously, the thot crossed my mind too many times. I wanted to just simply let everything go and fall to my death. End this struggle once and for all.

But i didnt. Perhaps i did try once. But it was just a trial, so the fall didnt kill me.

I bled, cut and bruised myself countlessly. But it cannot be compared to the wounds that were inflicted on my heart. The chasing of hope, and losing it each time.

Some times i feed myself with goals and dreams just to carry on trying.

I tell the passerbys myself, "U dun need a reason to carry on trying. U jus need to ensure u carry on breathing.".

But for myself, I need the moltivation.

I am strong enuff to carry on, but i am not strong enuff to face the next fall.
The traces of each fall were bone deep. And each wound never recovered.

Even so, however long it takes, u cant stay in darkness forever, especially when seemingly, u do see a speckle ray of light from the top. However, i do wonder if thats my own imagination. Your mind plays tricks on u when u r down. It could just be a fragment of ur wishes, and it was never there to begin with.

The goals and dreams never last. The armours tt i wore werent strong enuff to shield the rain, which constantly, makes me fall back.

I build one dream after another, but they were all broken. I am not strong enuff to build a good protection and thus i had to endure the crap humans throw at me, and start over.

Maybe I shd jus stop trying n spend the rest of my days at the bottom. Wat if i never make it, even if i continue trying. So wat if i made it to the top? Wat is the world out there for me?

I had never belong, wat makes me so sure i will be happier out there? Will i be pushed back in jus after i spent all my life climbing?

There was no hope to begin with, only a fool's hope.

I wished there is someone out there who will help me, who is there for me, encouraging me, lending me a hand, giving me strength. The person never ask me for anything in return, but jus stayed with the dream of seeing me out of it.

I waited n waited.

Often, i come across treasures along my climb. Ive never been rich, i only carry wats enuff to keep me ahead, otherwise, they will be too heavy a burden to carry.

To some people along the way, i pitched to them wat i can offer, jus so people will stop.

Some told me, "Dun worry, i will definately save you. And i dun need ur treasures.".

Lies, they are all lies.

It all started well, but as times go by. People gets weaker, not bearing them to go thru the pain i did, i offered them my treasure. So that they can heal and continue.

Some nv came back, some came back but asked for more and some came back and told me, "I am rich now, i dun need u anymore."

Many times i gave out more than i should as some ppl were strong. I needed more treasures n time to seek their help. However at times, my treasures ran out. And u noe that these ppl werent there to begin with.

They simply moved on to seek their next treasures holder.

Ive only asked for help and strength, was it too much?

At the end of the day, we are both of different worlds. I grew up in the hole, whereas u grew up from the outside world. Perhaps it was a mistake that we met.

It was never there to begin with.

I was just dreaming. You were never there.

And i ended with nothing once again.

Make Do

No idea wat happened to the skin.

Guess i'll make do with the minimal ugly default ones 1st...

Wait till i find better templates.

Blood Donated 8 Sep 07, FTT 20 Nov 07 8PM

Need to document the date for my own reference, i always haf prob remembering when i donated. Especially when they rarely update my online blood donation database... Especially when they take ages to send me back my donation card, which is jus a lousy piece of crappy paper.

Next donation will be 1 Dec onwards, this is easy to remember. Anyways, i can search my blog now.

I literally fainted when i went on sat. Coz i did not had any food or more water and i was also having menses. So i basically fainted at home, after making a trip to Raffles City for some shopping, and after making a trip to Cineleisure for a smoke with Marvin.

My sis said after waking me n asking me wats wrong, "u wan to faint go faint on ur own bed, i wan to watch shows". -____-"

Anyways, this time was fast n quiet too, i now know wat time to donate liao. Lol. It was interesting as well. One cute guy was 2 beds away from me, and then came in a hoard of students from NTU, led by a oso quite cute guy wearing suit from HSA explaining to them all abt blood donation, the procedure etc.

And then they used the cute guy to show them the whole process. It was quite fun listening to the other cute guy. I certainly learnt more, though i still wanted to ask tis qns, "Y do they take 4 tubes of samples from each donor, whereas they need to take 6 for me?"

The other cutie said, they take 4 samples, 1 to test HIV AIDS, 1 to test SYPHILLIS, 1 to test MALARIA, and other one i cant remember. Then my other 2 leh? For wat one?

There were a few male students who were quite irritating though. They kept scaring the female beside me, lol. But i dun like her either.

Due to lack of water, and the overloaded red wine the previous night, my blood was super thick. And strangely, it was smoother this time... My blood flowed for the fastest ever, the nurse was so shock. Lol. She kept sayin, "So fast!".

I mus be broken a record. I was pretty amazed too at how fast it ended. Lol. It was like, eh, over liao?

Usually it will take abt 3-7 mins, often from wat i saw its like 5-10 mins.

U do see those poor fellas whose blood couldnt flow, having a hard time.

Mine came under 3 mins tis time. Lol.

Did the cuties gave me the adrenaline rush, and made my heart pump faster?

Lol. K la, enuff abt blood.

Having alittle stroke of luck, i managed to book my final theory test date online a moment ago. Lol, i tried once yest, no slots, today i went in to see see look look but not hoping much and i saw tt bloody 8pm slot... Muahaha...

No need to head down liao... Though its jus 20mins from my place. And i paid 80cents more to do it online. Lol.

This is so boring.

Be back later or something.

Driving

My private driving course expired in oct. Just extended for 6 mths but i couldnt book a date for the final theory. Got to head down to SSDC for more nite slots.

I didnt go to the test on last fri. Kinda forgotten abt it and went for the movie with SZ. I didnt study again so no loss, however wasted 12 bucks obviously.

Next slot is Nov. Think i die die got to force myself to study bah. And go for it oso. Sian.

My course will expire 10 Apr... Hopefully done by then. But i doubt so obviously...

...

Too long, CUT!!!!

You know your nails are waaayyy too long when...

• u no longer type on ur keyboard with ur fingers, u r typing with ur nails, except the space bar
• when u try to use ur finger tip to type one key, ur nail types the letter above it together
• u feel slight tingly discomfort typin with ur nails
• u have zero finger tip contact when pressing the lift storey buttons, u bend ur finger and use ur finger joint
• ur finger tips no longer touch any flat surface areas
• u try to turn the knob of your office cabinets, only ur nails got in
• u press the top nozzle of ur air fresherner, u spray into ur own nail

I need to cut them... But im lazy coz it takes a long time to cut, trim, file, or even buff...

Sucks to be female...

Your Score: 6 - the Questioner

Edit: I jus went to see the other 4 options they gave... I am pretty much everything combined... Lol. So im posting everything but i'll highlight those points tt describe me.

I didnt copy the pics coz i duno how to... Lol...

Anyways, the pics will dictate im not a six... But the results are true though.


you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX (aka "The Loyalist").


"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

Be direct and clear.
Listen to me carefully.
Don't judge me for my anxiety.
Work things through with me.
Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
Laugh and make jokes with me.
Gently push me toward new experiences.
Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a SIX - I dun like all these... They are weaknesses of which affects my living... Lol

being committed and faithful to family and friends
being responsible and hardworking
being compassionate toward others
having intellect and wit
being a nonconformist
confronting danger bravely
being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a SIX

the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

SIXes as Children Often

are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

SIXes as Parents

are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
worry more than most that their children will get hurt
sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries


you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").


"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

Stand up for yourself... and me.
Be confident, strong, and direct.
Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
Give me space to be alone.
Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

being independent and self-reliant
being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
being courageous, straightforward, and honest
getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
never forgetting injuries or injustices
putting too much pressure on myself
getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often

are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
are sometimes loners
seize control so they won't be controlled
fugure out others' weaknesses
attack verbally or physically when provoked
take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents

are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
are sometimes overprotective
can be demanding, controlling, and rigid


you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").


"I must help others"

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a TWO

being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a TWO

not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
feeling drained from overdoing for others
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often

are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
are outwardly compliant
are popular or try to be popular with other children
act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents

are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
are often playful with their children
wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
can become fiercely protective


you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE (aka "The Reformer").


"I do everything the right way"

Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me

Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.
Acknowledge my achievements.
I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.
Tell me that you value my advice.
Be fair and considerate, as I am.
Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.
Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a ONE

being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal
working hard to make the world a better place
having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself
being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do
being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions
being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a ONE

being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met
feeling burdened by too much responsibility
thinking that what I do is never good enough
not being appreciated for what I do for people
being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am
obsessing about what I did or what I should do
being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

ONEs as Children Often

criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others
refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect
focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers
are very responsible; may assume the role of parent
hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")

ONEs as Parents

teach their children responsibility and strong moral values
are consistent and fair
discipline firmly

Frustration

Although i did not go cut and rebond my hair. I still chalked up my aug credit bill...
KNS, coz tt bloody ktv rejected my debit card... Duno y oso, i always use de lor... I had no cash so i LL got to sign my credit... Coz my other debit card no money... KNN...

And then leh, i see my hair more n more like crap... Dun even bother abt my mum who always say i look like shit... Even my buddy oso said the same thing... He initially said its fine, then later its been an eye sore... He asked me to dye black, DIY, he help me... Sigh, duno leh... Also duno DIY can cover all or not.

I still feel like rebonding it lor.... But i dun wan to cut short le... Just rebond n trim... Sigh... Maybe next mth bah.... And then wait another mth go dye dark brown...

Anyways, to prevent further misunderstandings... The "he", "buddy" tt i always talked abt is Marvin... I mean like crap lor, those who knoes me sure noe who im toking abt one wat... For those pathetic female losers who are double guessing, screw u la...

Tis is my blog ok... U saw my name, go google search or watever (damn KPO u, so free nothing better to do isit?), chance upon my blog, tts ur own prob.... I do not need to answer to anyone here lo....

Marvin's not even complaining abt wat i wrote, y shd the rest be....

Names names... So impt meh...

U all oso duno who wat, even if i write out their names... Those who r close noe already mah... KNS leh u all... I mean all the strangers....

Then mus i repeat their names all over? Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin.... Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen...

U got anything to say, say to me directly lah... Dun go one big round or tell 3rd party can or not? If u wan to play games, dun let me knoe... Fucking angry can! Piss me off lor... Speaking of which jus reminded me of someone else... Sigh, but i guess i shall not go into details...

I have not been updating coz i am so sick of my life, i am so down, i am so depressed, frustrated with everyone, and everthing else...

Alot had happened, lots to tok abt, but i jus aint got the mood to blog abt them...

And now im sick again, which jus pulled everything into rock bottom... I DO NOT LIKE TO BE SICK, coz when im sick, ppl ard me gets more selfish (dun allow me to rest, tok loud loud, disturb me wif nonsense), and then i will feel lonely... KNS...

LONELINESS is a taboo in my dictionary ok?

I am lonely-tolerant coz i am alone! I am not supposed to feel otherwise, if not tts slapping myself for having walked tis far...

If only im not female... If only im not emotional...

I will jus let everyone go, give everything up, without any burden, and leave this place forever...

Sigh... KNN!!!

I feel like cursing n swearing to all the bitches and fuckers....

Except tt i am now so miserable, i cant tok, i cant pronounce properly and i cant breath properly too... Plus im hungry!

Lol.

Sian sian sian...

Seriously i duno wat ive becum lately...

Either i step out of it or i continue but make it work better for me, as in towards my own advantage not to others... Otherwise im nv crawling back out again until someone threw the fully injured, useless me off the hole....

U mus be thinking wat e hell im toking abt... Well, tts for me to noe... It doesnt matter u get it or not, coz tis is MY blog , geddit?

If i wan U to understand, i will... If i dun i will jus speak in riddles...

My brain's not working properly again...

TBC tmr...

Dun Cut Le

After much consideration and hesitation, ive decided not to cut my hair or go to the salon on 10 Aug. Sigh... On one hand, i am kinda enjoying my hair length when its not giving me probs and i kinda do feel its not really tt neccessary to chop it off, on the other, i guess its more practical to save that money for other uses at the moment.

Alright. So i guess that would tentatively mean my credit bill for sep will be lesser.

Then again, who noes. Lol.

Then lidat 10 Aug i will be so sabishii... Everyone working/schling... Sobz... And then my house upgrading haven finish somemore... Cant even slp in lor... Sianz...

Shall see how bah...

Good Company

Yest US stock market crashed... Sigh.
Fortunately, i cashed out before that. But some ppl ard me were badly burnt.

I hope it doesnt affect the rest of you.

Its a risky game, i guess we have to accept the wins and losses. Not trying to sound preachy or anything, but its jus tt no matter wat the experts say abt trading being investments, sure wins n sorts, to me, its still gambling lor.

Stocks and shares, no matter how experienced n gd u r, sometimes, things are jus unpredictable.
So when you gamble, you have to accept you might lose oso.

You are happy when you earn big time, then when you lose, u blame the whole world and throw your temper ard ur loved ones.

We must be ready on both ends lo. I am not prepared to lose, thus i won't be doing it for a long time. No money mah.

Traders hate it when we say sometimes its luck as well, coz to them, everything is analytical, and you will definately make it big if you have a good mind. But like i said, nothing is forever, nothing is predictable forever. Things jus happen at times u noe.

Otherwise, there wun be so many tragedies ard le.

Ppl say those who burnt themselves are simply stupid and they haf poor judgement. Then again, you will nv be 100% right forever eh?

Thats my belief la... (Can already feel them shooting me looks, luffing at my ignorance -___-" Watever!)

Anyways, i went out yest. Sigh... Haha, it meant i spent money lah... Sobz, now left $650 only nia. Lol. & $40 cash.

Sushi Tei for dinner - $50
Cigs - $30
Acid Bar - $70
Bought Hoegarden at Cheers - $30

Damage: $180
Good Company: Priceless

Actually quite fun to list out... Lol, i can refer to these for expenses. Had been refering to my acc post alot... Haha.

It was good company yest though. I thot the vibe was good. Shared some more stuffs and thots and conversation was pretty good. Though tt jerk freaked me out abit yest on the bed, and i kept imagining a woman hanging on his ceiling fan, coz of tt stupid horror movie 4 of us watched prev sat, ALONE. Lol. And i couldnt sleep for the rest of the night, not becoz of the ghost but more like i couldnt get to sleep, like always.

I guess when you are very close to your fren, its inevitable to have conflicts at times. Jus hope it doesnt happen too often. Like he said, impt thing is jus dun keep going back to it.

Theres no perfection in all relationships. So part n parcel. It happened, u cant turn back time, so get over it and move on ahead.

Oh ya.

Watch this speech for Steve Jobs, very moltivating.



Lunching le... Later

Some Goals

Update more since i got the mood. More like reminders for myself bah...
Will tok abt the sat gathering after i get my pc reformatted and upload the photos.

This week's tasks after work:

• Mon - Pack Wardrobe, Iron/Sew Shirts, Finish my drama series, Catch more sleep
• Tues - Plan Pot Luck Gathering, Reformat PC, Re-install everything
  -______-"
• Wed - Go buy the toiletries at central, Transfer Files from Lap Top to PC
• Thurs - Slack & Rest
• Fri - Stay at home
• Sat - Meet SZ, Buy eldest sis bday gift, Maybe head to tamp drop toiletries/installers at Marv's place and visit him n Elfie
• Sun - Free & Easy, maybe cook

August:

• Donate Blood
• Study Hard for Driving Final Theory Test

September:

• Pass my Final Theory
• Start my practical driving lessons

October:

• New Working Wardrobe - Heels, Bottoms, Shirts, etc
• Dye Hair

November - December:

• New Wardrobe - Total Revamp - Work/Non Work

2008

• Stick to my job
• Buy a Mac Book
• Buy a Video Cam
• Buy a Gucci Wallet
• Get my driving liscense
• Pack all things, throw all unneccessary, be prepared for moving out plans
• Holiday Trip - TAIWAN
• Plan to get car (Most prob 2009)
• Do not get into any relationships

Think thats abt it for now...

August Account

Breakdown of my own August Accounts for my own reference:

After paying all the bills and transfering money here and there.
Plus the money others returned me, I'm left with $800 in my bank, and $80 bucks cash, lol...
You think alot arh? U see my list of fixed expenses for this mth!

• - $80 for this week and next week working expenses (cigs & lunch $)
• - $100 for M1 HP bill on 27 Aug + Internet Bill
• - $90 for last 2 weeks of working expenses (till i get next pay)
• - $50 for toileties (Shampoo, Conditioner, Hair Serum, Moisturizer)
• - $100 expenses for the my bday Sentosa Stay (meals and others, excluding hotel)
• - $50 for my bday gathering (pot luck - still planning though)
• - $50 for my eldest sis bday gift (8th Aug, got chalet)
• - $200 Emergency Money (I haf to do tis, if not sure die one! If nothing crops up then it will becum my savings lor!)

And so i am left with $160. Haven deduct for transportation somemore. Lol. But nvm can leave tis part out.

Ok, i've decided to be thick skin n stay at home to eat dinner for weekdays for the whole month. If not i'll jus eat bread or instant noodles.

So i have $160 to cover my whole aug weekend spending! Which will be 3 weekends, since my bday weekend i think more or less will be covered in the above listing. So i ended up having like $50 for fri-sun each weekend. Sigh.

So it means no more cab rides! Ok, shall die die stick to bus. But u noe travel from amk to tamp is soooooooooooo far n journey is sooooooo long by bus or train lo... Sigh, nvm, i'll ENDURE!!!

I shall not drink for this mth... Hmm, try lor... No ktvs this mth... Try oso lah... I shall not watch any movies... Sigh... Ke sian leh, then whole mth i nothing to do... Lol. Nvm, i'll jus watch online anime, my vcds and go visit Elfie can liao...

But then i got something i wan to do on the day i took leave when everyone is working so nobody can accompany me thus i might as well go do it and take up my whole day... Lol. Uber long sentence said in one breath.

I wan to go do my hair during my bday week, with the 50% discount it shd be like around $250. Thinking of rebonding my hair and snipping my hair off... Then 1.5 mths - 2 mths later go change my hair color. No more ulti bleaching this time. Normal 2-color dye, or i might even go single color.

So ironic i tell u... It took me so many yrs (hmm, like 8 yrs? Meanwhile on off on off trim n grow trim n grow)to finally grow so long, and almost to the length that i wan and now i feel like snipping it off. I think its the bday mood, new hair, new change. And im oso sick of maintaining my hair... My hair was bleached 3 times n rebonded 2 times across 2.5 yrs, i think.

And so am thinking of jus snipping most parts off and start anew. Grow again. Sick of taking care of the lower ends to prevent disasters.

But as much as i wan to cut short my hair, i cannot bear to cut away my long hair too. Sobz, dun laugh, this is woman for u lor... Lol

Something tells me i definately must do it for myself though. Hmmmm....

But use my credit card mah?

I just cleared my aug credit bill, but scary thing will be my credit bill for Sep. Lol. Even if i dun sign anything now till 20 Aug, this is the amount already. Lol.

• $215 - KTV (I think, forgot how much le oso)
• $504 - Sentosa Bday Overnight Stay (But of coz SZ will pay me back $250)
• $250 - Hairdo

Siao liao lah, Lol. $700+ liao lor... Hahahah. Lets take it as $750. Minus $750 and family allowance, $200 working expenses for sep, $100 for HP + Internet bills, $100 for other toiletries plus cosmetics (predict some items will run out during early sep), $200 emergency $. Left only $250 nia.

Luckily sep nobody close to me bday... Or so i remembered. Dun tell me u sep bday! Lol.

Then same thing liao, cannot ktv, drink, etc... Hahahah.

But as long as i tahan aug n sep. Oct i will not be so tight already. Lol. I wanted a bday spa trip, so ok lah... I need the break and celebration. Sacrifice abit lor... Once a year only nia. Not in the condition to go overseas oso. So jus make do lor.

Can go shopping le... Lol.

Stress sia... Kekekek... Scared i bored to death... Haha.

Too much HP

Heyo...

Ive got so many things to say.... Wanted to blog so many times last week, but jus cant find the suitable time.

I die die have to format my home pc, yes it died... But then, its jus so sian to re-install everything. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT! Sigh... Been dragging it on for like wat, weeks?

My sis asked me to share a new cpu, but no money leh.

I need to pack my wardrobe oso, dun wanna go thru the mountain packing like the previous packing time. I oso need to iron my shirts, haf been wearing LC clothes to work lately. I oso need to sew additional metals butts to my shirts... Sigh...

I shd do this, tonight after work: Pack Wardrobe, sew buttons, watch campus superstar, and concuss. Tues night: Re-format PC. Sat go buy bday gift for my big sis and some toiletries to put at Marv's place. I need to get some cosmetics oso... Sian...

Its monday again. It was so hard to wake up tis morning... I couldnt sleep last nite, it was so uncomfortable. The temperature isnt right though ive adjusted it, i jus couldnt find any suitable position to fall asleep in. And the shoulder/neck aches arent helping.

Worst, when i finally fall asleep. I had a disturbing dream. Too much Harry Potter talk over the weekend. I dreamt that Lord Voldemort was after my life on my bday -_-" Too much bday tok as well. My acquaintances from different world dimensions i made (perhaps from previous adventures) all came over trying to so called wish me happy bday -_-". But they were trying to protect me as well.

I cant tell u the exact story. Its jus u noe, getting keys and answers that link to some dimension portals to find some ppl, etc. Some ppl close to me betrayed me as usual. And of coz having the demon trying to kill me meanwhile.

Apparently, he need to cast a magic spell on me in order to kill me. And it had to be a ritual or something. He cant kill me like with a dagger or something,. God knows y. So as long as i keep escaping with my magic, i am safe. U have no idea how many spells ive casted in the process.

Short sleep, long dream. As usual, hate tt. It jus seem like eternity, i dun like tt, coz i will feel super tired the next morning.

I go eat 1st, later then continue.

HAPPIFYING 2

This sat ive arranged a gathering with SZ, Marvin and Wendy...

Wah, 1st time SZ and Marvin meet, duno how its gonna turn out... Lol... But high time to meet le lor, kns... My 2 close frenz, die die oso mus pair them up see how isit...

Will be watching movie, Alone, in the noon, then early dinner at newton, i wanna eat STINGRAY, SAMBAL KANG KONG, (damn long no eat, e last time at tamp 85 coffeeshop not counted, sucks lor) then duno wat liao... I sick of eating Lala, Cockles, Squid, dun feel like eating Tsuk Tsuk, Gong Gong... Then like nothing liao lor... Oh ya, think i will order satay (oso very long no eat), then the oyster omelette, i dun fancy chicken wings... Hmm, then like nothing liao. Lol.

Then KTV. Gonna drink alot alot... I will prepare more $$$. I hope the 2 girls are prepared though, one thing is i want them to get drunk, then again im afraid of the aftermath of drunk ppl oso... Lol.

Then after that go Boon Tong Kee eat supper...

But like so dumb travel back n forth back n forth lidat... Lol, but nvm lah, 4 person cab not so ex.

Pls dun stalk me arh! U roughly can guess all my locations. Lol...

I am so excited lor, duno wat im excited for... But sian leh, 5 more days!!!

If all these dun work out, i duno wat to say man... But then got ME wat, sure work de lah...

I wan to see Marvin, SZ, 5-10... It will be so interesting...

I am so amazed at myself this mth...

1. I managed to survive under such limited moolah.
2. I did not borrow any moolah. Wanted to lor, but i am a stubborn bitch!
3. I still managed to eat my usual (sort of) and bought so many things for others
4. But coz of the above points, now i have a credit of 500 moolah to clear next mth. Lol. But still within my budget lah, didnt i already mentioned I have high expenses!

But last mth credit bill of 3K (consists of the 2.4k Puppy) was really really crazy. 600 moolah was my shopping which i by right expected it to roll over this mth, coz of the cut off date but i FORGOT i CHANGED credit card, so the cut off date was changed too.

Although i encountered tt big floop, all these still under my control lor...

It feels so gd to be in control again.

But i did suffer one setback which was tt my drinking was cut down tremendously. This is partly due to the fact that my drinking khaki oso broke, lol. So we die die oso cannot drink, for now... But not anymore, i will be back next mth. Lol.

Then again, u will say dun drink so much la, not gd to health tis n tt... U think i duno meh... U think ppl who smoke who drink duno meh.... I am alcholic, i enjoy drinking. So?

I am now super super gien so sat i will drink alot alot... I dun care wat u think of drinkers... I love to drink, much more than smoke.

But having said all tt, i still drank... It wasnt like a whole mth of no alcohol. So its still cool.

I was just about to snap coz of another mistake yest. They dun accept my type of credit card - smart chip kind, and i was forced to use up all my spare cash, lol. But all i had to sacrifice was a pack of cig, some food, and enduring a long long long bus journey of rowdy ppl and motion sickness.

But all things jus fell into place again.

If i get my petty cash (23 moolah) from Boss - he retn to office this week, i will have enuff moolah to eat lunch for the rest of the week.

My sis cashed out my shares, so i have abit of money for saturday!

Just when i was counting down to dreadful pay check clear day, everything fastwarded and i jus need to sit and wait till mid of this week...

But i do feel abit guilty though... Had not been saving for some time, coz of all the gifts and all... The shares were my pathetic saving and im touching that money for sat. But then I do not mind paying lor. This kind of thing is the companionship de mah. Money can still be earned de.

As long as enjoyable i dun mind paying de la... But if not enjoyable of coz i will grumble. Lol... Tts y i say die die ok de lah... Got me mah!

Although i dun earn alot of money, but at least still self sufficient.
I still pay for bills, i still give my family money. Isnt it all that matters? I no money or wat is my own prob wat... I buy gifts, i drink, i give treats, i happy, others oso happy mah...

I dun affect others nor owe ppl money... Isnt tt gd enuff?

I am not going for degree anymore, so i need not save up big time for it...

Aiyah, in the end...

I jus wan to say... I jus wan to give as much as i can do, while i still can.

Happifying

I donated blood just in may... Kns, their system nv update... Can only go again after 19 august.

I am happifying now... Duno y... Feel so so so happy and excited.

No monday blues (erm, coz i usually haf tuesday blues - yaya, stop laughing for those who noe).

I bought 2 movies - 300 (hope its not censored), and take the lead. Of coz i've watched them in the theatres. But i buy movies tt i like or love to keep. Coz i am the kind who can watch a movie over n over.

Wasnt expecting to buy 300, wanted to buy Dirty Dancing: Havana Night, but they dun haf.

I bought 3 pairs of shoes from Charles n Keith yest... I saw 2 pairs on the website tt i fell for, i noe i had to get them. Lol.

I am not afraid to say this but I love C&C shoes.

Coz they have great size range and they are affordable. They now have size 41, thats size 10. Now i can hear lesser females complain already. Amazing right? Most shops stop at 39 one lor... VNC goes up to size 11 though, i think C&C is trying to compete with the M'sian brand.

Who cares if they dun last, VNC shoes dun last either... In fact, my C&C shoes last longer than my VNC shoes. Actually their shoes kinda last longer already or at least those tt i've picked. And the quality has improved tremendously, at least i dun get bloody blisters now or so for those tt i've picked. And their heels are more stable now, not as wobly as compared to when they just started. Balance is good too, my feet dun ache wearing their 4 inch heels as compared to the past.

And i love some of their designs too, though not original but who cares. I am always spoilt with choices. And i had to die die restrict myself from not more than 3 pairs each time. Though i have to admit i love VNC design collection too, but then VNC limited branches, i dun wan to go city hall jus for tt.

Best of all, to me lah... Their shoes super cheap lor... I never bother to check the prices before i buy... To me lah, 30+ per pair is cheap lor... 30+ wear at least 6 mths, ok wat...

Actually, its jus kinda recent tt i realised wat type of shoes fits me so that i dun get the blisters or spoil the shoes easily... For example, i cannot buy strappy heels though its super sexy, coz sure wear few times break one. So i dun get lor... Then i cannot buy fully covered or rather back covered heels though i love them, coz the back sure blister one. Then wear one time throw aside le so i dun buy lor... Then front covered, my nails sure spoil the shoes one then the front gets dirty n smelly more easily, so i try not to get tis type oso lor... But i sometimes still get tis type though.

I bought one red heels, one beige heels and one blue wedge... I now got 3 colors to wear go out, i like! I think tts y im happy.

Next time i will get working shoes, coz i wan to change my current batch. So many yrs le, some so worn out le. I need new batch of working clothes too... Wearing the same things for ages... Lol.
I must be patient... New wardrobe in October! See i save enuff or not 1st lah... haha...

Upload tis 1st...

I cant remember when was the last time i donated blood... Kns...

I checked online its says feb, so means i missed out one appointment in may already... But then e last i went with wendy was so long ago meh? Think i better check my card later when i reach home. Thats if i can still remember. Lol.

I think shd be bah, think quite some time already oso... And time flew by lately.

Will head down this sat for donation if im eligible.

Guess i will be headin down alone again this time, so sick of meeting up with ppl and arranging all the nonsense.

I am not refering to Wendy, she was the one who woke me up that time coz i was zz, and we were late for the appt. I wanted to give it a miss already, but she was my moltivation and i got my lazy arse off the bed. Lol.

Luckily late ar, coz when we reached, so few ppl there tt it took a breeze to go thru it. It was almost zero waiting time at all stations!

Aiya, cant blog le... Lunching.

Missing June~

I cant believe i left out the whole of june's posting. KNN~

So much happened, yet i didnt blog. I was busy but i was more tired.

After 4 mths of preparation, finally my exhibition came and left. And i didnt even take photos and note watever down.

Not only that, the new puppy, marvin's bday, the puppy, the puppy, the puppy...
Haha.

I am now officially a mother of 1 and a half son, or is it 1 and 1/3 son? Lol.

Unfortunately but as usual, life is never a sunny side up. While some things were good, its only good while it last.

Where the hell was i man?

I felt i kinda lost myself lately. Where's my celesbaby?

No idea wat the hell im doing.

I definately was kinda escaping from certain issues. I spent lesser time at home, I hacked care some of the things i shd be doing, i threw aside my priorities, and i placed some ppl on the shelve lately.

I have my final theory test tonight! And i didnt even study at all. Took a few glances at the qns samples and i haf no idea wat they r toking abt. Much had been bothering me of late, i haf no mood at all to study for some test.

I am so screwed.

Though its only 6 bucks, but its a waiting period of 2-3 mths each test.

Anyways, its too late now, gd luck for my next trial i guess.

I took half day leave tmr for my son's vet appt.

My family had agreed to split the bill, i hope its not too high. Im on a very tight budget for the whole of July.

Gd gracious for the gst money, though little but it ensured i do not haf to eat grass for this mth. Lol.

Ok, more later.

Finally

I love the lyrics~ Sobz...

明知留不住更不想结束 努力记住你此刻的眉目
记住这拥抱的温度 对抗快来临的孤独
为什么幸福它总是仓促

不在乎付出因为我在乎 但让你哭我就无可宽恕
年轻的我们太低估 世界该有的冷酷
在多的爱也没帮助

My Finally
一个也是有吻 Finally
我最终的恋人别哭泣

用力用力忘你在哪里
我的心中不曾离开你 永远的
当我想起你会得到 爱的离奇

我要退出 也为你祝福
别为我哭我会嫁给无助
年轻的我们太低估 世界该有的冷酷
在多的爱也没帮助

My Finally 一个也是有吻 Finally
我最终的恋人别哭泣用力用力忘你在哪里
我的心中不曾离开你 永远的
当我想起你会得到爱的离奇

忘记一步一切就荒芜 希望爱复燃吧!

But tis lyrics got alot of errors, but i cant edit. Bek cek.

Bad Person

Had a very bad dream last fri night.

I was and still am quite affected by it. But i guess i managed to say to that person wat i really felt that time, even though it was only in the dream. I didnt wake up in tears, but i felt broken once more.

I knew that i will dream of it again, thanks to somebody who kept brining it up though i had already been trying to put it behind me. -_-"

For the sake of many individuals, I twist my words all the time. To make them feel better and to feed their egos. Often due to tis, I have alot of regrets.

Ppl will never know the truth. To cover up for their mistakes, i jus bit wat i suffered in silence and put them in better light.

I know wat really happened. And i cant say it out. Sigh.

Perhaps i shd jus stop being nice altogether.

It doesnt pay u noe. To take in everything urself. To suffer alone. Its plain dumb n stupid.

They will never know what you had done for them, would they? Will they get it one day when they think back?

In the end, they only remembers u as the bad person. And thats the return you get.

I remembered i wrote tis statement during one of my film n video project during poly days. It was a review for our own project, team, etc.

I wrote, "It's not easy to be a bad person, let alone all the time. But someone's got to do it. And so, who's more ideal than me? Since I've been doing it so much, that others had already embedded the bad being in myself. I can't bear to let others do it. I have to make the move, so that the rest dun haf to suffer wat i did."

I seriously wondered wat my lecturer thot when i wrote that. Then again, thats provided he got read thoroughly.

I didnt write the exact same words, but that was wat i meant though.

Perhaps i should really change... I feel torn.

Last sat was Keith's bday, so me and marvin treated him dinner at Marriot Hotel on sunday (mother's day). It was crazily ex lor... The food wasnt bad though it wasnt fantastic. Service is good as well, since Marvin got the ice cream he wanted though it wasnt part of the buffet line.

Wonder were we charged for that? If so, how much?

Before that, i accompanied Marvin to Four Seasons Hotel's Club21 to shop. Nothing interesting, and the tabs are like @@. Lol. Then we walked back to Orchard and melted. So hot, can? Though no sun but it was so hot.

Theres tis nice good boy gay looking thin sweater that he love at Forum's Blackjack, but its 300+ lor, so not worth it. Discouraged him against it. I saw a jacket that i really really like, think it was 100 or 200+. And i love the top that used the same design pattern too. SO nice!!!! But no money cannot buy.

Headed to Zara and he bought 2 tops and a cute superman boxer. Haha, cant imagine him wearing it. Mus ask him to show liao. Kekekeke...

Wonder wat i did over the last weekend? Hmm...

Oh ya, had dinner at Waraku (my fav) after work on fri then headed for ktv, so it was soooo boring. Can die inside breathin the guys' sianness. Then watched drama for whole night, zz till next evening, then had dinner at Tamp's Crystal Jade. Not bad leh tt branch, surprisingly.

My impression of CJ totally changed.

Then it was back to more watching to complete the series, while Marvin, his sis Gina, husband Victor and their fren mahjonging noisily behind me.

Sun i went to my Boss's Baby Shower then met Marvin and Keith up for the shoppin n dinner.

I then caught SpiderMan 3 with Keith, while Marvin headed back home for preparation to club which didnt happen in the end, coz Kavan played him out, lol. Spiderman 3 wasnt that bad a movie as wat ppl said. Wasnt great but i wasnt expecting it to be anyways, jus a sequel in the storyline lor...

Tonight i should be catching 28 weeks later, cant wait. But then tts unless someone dun play me out.

Tues was my sis's bday, still haven got his gift, think i'll get something later. Provided i got go out lah... Tmr im going for blood donation with wendy. Evening got steamboat dinner with my family (mum's early bday celebration).

Kavan's bday next tues... Y so many ppl bday one!!!!

Haha.

Yest met Benjamin for dinner at Pasta Cafe. Been one yr plus ever since he went to Taiwan to work in tt games company. Now hes back for good, haf not seen him for so long le... Hes not changed abit. Sigh.

My exhibition is coming up one mth's time, both looking forward and dreading it. Its so far and hours are so long somemore. But then after tt, i would have time to plan many other things in my schedule.

Ive passed my basic theory test, and my final theory will be early July. I hope i can pass it one shot, then i can start my practical lessons. Then hopefully by end of the yr or latest early next yr i would be able to get my liscense.

Ive oso decided to take up jap, from basic, to intermediate to advance, which will take about 1.5yrs, tts if i dun fail la. Lol. And then depending on situation i might take up more papers on tt.

But i cannot take the most recent intake. it starts in june, clashes with my exhibition, so i will enrol during dec and start jan... So far away. Sad, but gd lah, hopefully i can settle my license 1st.

I no mood to write le. Another time bah, so sian.

Hurt So Bad

I absolutely love this song now.

I just got the song today. Coz i duno the title. I dun like the original though but the version sung by one fren,Kavan. I love the way he sings it...


哭了才发现自己真的受伤了
你曾对我说你永远是我的
为了爱情我把自己的幸福都忘了
你快乐我就快乐
也许是我们彼此都太年轻了
总是特别容易沉溺在爱情里
每当我再次看到身边美丽的花火
你也离开我我还是想对你说

Baby I love You So Much…
你走了我的心在淌血
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad…
想要你回到我的世界
Baby I love You So Much…
你给我的诺言已经瓦解
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad…
只要我们都爱着无论多苦都值得
说好的你怎么忘记了

Nuff said...

Isnt it?

Back & Thank You All

I am fine liao.

I guess so.

It seemed like i got over it within 18hrs. Ya, i jus looked at the clock and calculated...

At least im still alive, still able to smile & joke.

I'm alright & I got over the worst moments. And made myself go to work, though my fren insisted on calling my boss on my behalf to explain to him to allow me to take fri off.

I cannot do that one lor. And i am not the kind of person who does that.

Anyways, gonna have to thank some of u sweet little darlings.

I panicked and called the whole world around 1+am that night. Nobody picked up except Keith, although he was already asleep.

Though he wasnt able to keep up coz he was too tired. But i was really glad someone answered. He did joked and said luckily he wasnt dreamin about ghosts the next day. Coz if he did, then hearing a female crying over the phone and not saying anything at that hr is very creepy. Haha.

Also, gotta have to thank Ben, who called me back and stayed with me till 4+am.

These are the times when u will find out who really cares (though they always act tough and say they hack care abt u)even though you may not be particularly close with that person.

I am always reachable for others, ppl called me at crazy hours but never once i complained. Coz i understand how it feels when you really need someone to talk to or need someone by ur side, but you just cant get anybody, be it the hour.

I understand coz it had always been the case for me. When i say i will be there for you, anytime, i truly mean it. Unless seriously i did not managed to hear the ringing. I knoe sometimes how a phone call can change a person's fate. U never noe wat will happen to that person.

So as much as i can, i would never wan anybody i noe to go thru the same thing as i did.

Ppl always look for me when something happened, but never once have i found anyone like that until this time. This is the 1st time i actually felt i have frenz. Not those who can go out, chat, have fun with you.

But those whom stayed with you in times of need. Like me, they sacrificed their sleep, work, coz they know as a human, you are more important at that moment.

Its an irony that those who proclaimed, "I'll always be here whenever u really need me, U can always call me if u r down, i will definately get ur call or call u back asap" are never the ones who are there. Even if you happened to get them, they wouldnt really be bothered to hear you out. They will sound impatient, coz they didnt wan to get affected themselves, so they would tell u things like, "just go n slp, dun think so much, jus let it be, tok to u again".

I duno if its jus me or wat. If i noe a fren who is going thru hard times lately. I will definately and automatically, without a doubt stay closer to my phone. I will be on standby mode, just in case when things really go bad. I guess tis is only when u truly care about someone bah.

Wendy who called me in the morning. She did not ask me anything (that was bein very sensitive, thank you. Coz i did not wan to cry jus before i work for my eyes were already very swollen and its hard to put on e make up), i knew she was jus checking if im alright. I told her i will call her during lunch time. I didnt. And without even asking, she called me back again after work, she did not even ask y i didnt call her or anything lidat (u noe how some ppl will say until like ur fault again). Thank you.

Yati, who accompanied my fri morning over msn. Thank you. With you around, time passes easier during work when its all hectic and stressful. Although you are the one who is the furthest away from knowing my story, ive realised i told u more than wat most of them noe. Coz u really read n digest my words. I am really glad you chatted with me that morning. It wasnt easy.

Jensen who smsed me from morning. Who offered to treat me to something good tmr, after he heard i lost my appetite and tt im broke. Thank you.

Dave, who smsed me from noon onwards. I smsed a few but as expected not everyone replied though. Dave is very sweet, he made me feel so much better. Although sadly, he jus went through a heartache himself. He understood wat i needed. Thanks.

Keith, who called me from work. And without asking again, he offered to meet me for dinner. Even though i had no idea wat to eat or where to go. He still met me. Even though he already had plans (i only found out about tt later in the night), he cancelled it to accompany me.

Its jus so sad when it comes to situations whereby ur close fren or frenz who knew you r upset, did not bother to say anything or do anything and u even had to ask if they can accompany u. I jus find tt so sad. Coz such things shd come naturally. U shdnt expect a depressed person to ask, coz that jus make them feel worst.

And u shdnt even think along the line of, "I shd jus let him/her calm down for awhile 1st be4 contacting him/her". Screw all of us who think tis way. U wan ur frenz to die isit? U duno how to read ppl one ar, ppl who r depressed always in denial mode one. Even if you really dun haf e time to meet, at least check out ur frenz lor... So hard meh?

I never allow them to ask. I will just do it, abeit forcefully at times. Lol. I will be like, i dun care. I jus wan to meet u. Haha. No matter how cold or strong u r as a person. I noe deep down, u will still need company.

Wendy again, who oso came down to meet me and Keith later in the night. She was so tired and she still needed to work the following day. Both of them stayed with me outside till about 2+am. We jus sat there and chatted about everything, mostly about SP Services though. Lol.

And lastly, SZ, who came down to amk to meet me for dinner on sat, ktv to drink with me (she let me sing most of the time, i did realise tt), and came over to sleep with me till sun night. Thanks for the company.

I guess, without all these ppl, it would be tougher, alot tougher.

While most made me feel better, one or two or three made me feel worst. Some got me back on smiles, some provoked me and made me almost cry again. Sigh. Then again, u cant blame them. Not everyone can handle people. Some are jus not the sensitive n considerate sort.

But bottom line is, i am so glad to have the rest of u guys around. I love you all so much.

I got back up pretty quick this time. I guess it jus wasnt long enuff for me to start loving him. And i am glad i dun haf to try anymore.

Im oso not saying i am 100% ok now, lest u see me sian sian or depressed again... But manageable though. It doesnt ache anymore. But at times when i think about it, its still there, jus a alittle.

I am jus getting used to the idea of losing a person who was once there for u. Even though he doesnt accompany me and practically wasnt there at all most of the time, but its jus e feeling of noeing someone is still there. Get e idea?

But im happier now. Though i cant really go back to the state before it all started coz things have changed. Ive given up and let go some things and i noe i won't be getting them back. Such are inevitable sacrifices.

But at least im not bothered by things in tis area anymore. I am so glad i am out of it.

So its time to continue movin on. Like wat Keith said, "Just start afresh again lor, from tis moment onwards, its jus like back to the usual days".

However, a few door ways are opened coz of him (my ex). Whether i will change or not, is up to me now.

SZ asked me if i would accept another relationship again, for the 1st time, i answered her "yes". But its different now.

I am playing a different game tis time.

But no more same age liao de wor... 1st and last time, they r jus not strong enuff...

2nd to Nicholas, Keith also said, "i think you shd jus stay single.", coz i will be very tong ku when i am in a relationship.

I oso say! Say so many times le somemore. Haha...

When i was toking to keith tt day, sometimes i will say "my bf ....", then Keith will say, "who ur bf?", i will say, "him lor". Then he will like exclaim, "Wat, that jerk! wat bf! forget him liao lor!".

Haha, i find that very funny.

Tmr is holiday! Think i'll jus slack n rest at home. Very tired leh... Enjoy ur public hol hor?

Broken Up

We broke up yest night.

Let's leave this blog as it is for awhile.

Wait for me to return bah...

Singing Dinosaur

Im so sleepy n tired... Didnt sleep well last night at all... Slept late oso though i was so sleepy... Sigh. Tis morning rain until i cannot wake up lor... Almost MC but cannot!

I dreamt i died twice. One was at genting. The hotel collapsed and i was in the room. It collapsed down the hill and into the valley... Damn scary, confirm die de lor...

Then 2nd dream was the aftermath or something. Going to be end of the world le. So it was before that. Then got tis restaurant tt sells famous da long bao (its huge compared to xiao long bao, think i was hungry). Inside hor, they got those huge ass aquarium where they kept monsters for showcase! Well, more like ugly dinosaurs bah... But tt restaurant damn magnificent! Then got one line of beautiful china waitresses standing in front of the aquarium waiting to serve guests de...

The dinosaurs can sing somemore, or at least tt scary one in the corner who was eyeing me...

But his singing was horrible though... At 1st i thot hes growling, then it became more like trying to tell me something... Very coarse and husky, then i realised hes actually singing, mandarin somemore! Awful voice underwater... It took me so long before i realised hes singing Lee Hom's Di Yi Ge Qing Chen to me... KNS. Duno wat e hell...

Then e corner waitress who was standing in line before the glass, turned around n rolled her eye balls at the monster. And gave me a look as if to say, get used to it... lol... Damn funny.

Needless to say, later they escaped lor, they survive on land oso... The restaurant was at a building that look like suntec tower. Hmm...

But before tt, jus when i heard building collapsing and all, thinking e monsters escaped (was ready to run, coz ive dreamt of such dreams too many times i noe wat to do liao). Ended up was tt ppl were throwing down all the dao long bao from upstairs the restaurant, down for us to eat... Coz we going to end of world le mah... So we were all grabbing the famous dao long bao... Haha... I still remember the taste somemore.

SZ grabbed alot. She took pork, vege and prawns de... But she said the green one (vege) the best. As expected of her!

Then it was more food and more eating. It was so shiok coz everyone knew it was going to be end of the world... We all started eating for free... There were many places (buffets) which were left unattended, so we public just went in to eat n help ourselves...

Gosh i mus be damn hungry...

Yest kept raining wor, how to jog lidat... Marvin n Kavan jio me go gym, said cfm no rain, haha... I dun wan, i still wan go jog outdoor... Then Marvin cursed me say sure rain non stop... Lol

In the end, i went to zz, jus when i was about to doze off, Marvin called... Woke me, chat while he was waiting for Kavan to pick him up. Ask them come pick me they dun wan... So end up 8+ liao, i decided to jog coz rain stopped.

I walk to stadium, closed liao... KNN.

So i ran ard the neighbourhood and started to rain wor... THen i hack care continued to run lor. Finished liao i go buy my fav ginger warm beancurd. Sat down stairs to eat... Damn shiok ok?

Then i went back do some chores, watch tv, study abit then zz le...

Wanted to go club de, coz Marvin jio me accompany him with his coz mates... But then we couldnt find more ppl and i dun wan to be wif all the xiao di dis... Makes me feel so auntie. Ended up i asked him to cancel... Haha...

In the end all healthy living le lor... All go exercise...

But yest didnt jog enuff... Sigh...

Tonight after my thing, maybe i go again. Later see how bah. After work will be so rushed.

Sian

Im so sleepy n tired... Didnt sleep well last night at all... Slept late osom though i was so sleepy... Sigh.

Yest kept raining wor, how to jog lidat... Marvin n Kavan jio me go gym, said cfm no rain, haha... I dun wan, i still wan go jog outdoor... Then Marvin cursed me say sure rain non stop... Lol

In the end, i went to zz, jus when i was about to doze off, Marvin called... Woke me, chat while he was waiting for Kavan to pick him up. Ask them come pick me they dun wan... So end up 8+ liao, i decided to jog coz rain stopped.

I walk to stadium, closed liao... KNN.

So i ran ard the neighbourhood and started to rain wor... THen i hack care continued to run lor. Finished liao i go buy my fav ginger warm beancurd. Sat down stairs to eat... Damn shiok ok?

Then i went back do some chores, watch tv, study abit then zz le...

Wanted to go club de, coz Marvin jio me accompany him with his coz mates... But then we couldnt find more ppl and i dun wan to be wif all the xiao di dis... Makes me feel so auntie. Ended up i asked him to cancel... Haha...

In the end all healthy living le lor... All go exercise...

But yest didnt jog enuff... Sigh...

Tonight after my thing, maybe i go again. Later see how bah. After work will be so rushed.

Not Lost

Thanks Astra.

I have a meeting at 4pm, and i need to prepare some materials. Then again, think i need a short break now thus im here. Muahahahah...

Im not so sure about this relationship though. Its not going well at all, we didnt even have any "honeymoon" period. I wasnt ready, he was ready but not anymore (after he realised how difficult it is). And we sort of neglected one another tis few days, coz its jus not working.

Then again, i guess we have to give it some time.

I can only say time will tell. TIME WILL TELL...

Ive given up too many times in tis. The last i said was the last sunday morning at his place. When he was jus about to sleep, in his gone state.

I whispered:

"Sorry."

"For?"

"Ive given up..."

"Given up wat?"

"You..."

"Sigh... Dun think about it le."

Then he hugged the wide awake me and slept.

Im not sure if he remembers. But i think he did.

Coz we drifted already.

So now im jus getting used to all tis. I guess its jus gd training for me. Makes me a harder person. Ive always wanted to be tough, heartless and hard. So tt i would not get affected by things.

I told my fren i couldnt work now coz i am so affected. And unlike man who can easily throw their thots aside and carry on with their daily routine, women jus take it harder.

But im doing fine now i guess. My mood from rock bottom has gone up. I guess like wat ppl say, when you are at rock bottom, theres no way to go except upwards.

But i think its thanks to the jog yesterday. I totally enjoyed it. My mood immediately picked up 80%. Or isit coz of the choc i took be4 i ran? Hmm... Or isit coz of the music i was listening to when i jogged? Coz i found it easier... I still have not lost my form. And im glad. But my leg injury is still with me. Sigh.

Im doing it again tonight, hoping to make it a routine, but i cant make it tmr coz i got an appointment. Maybe later? See how bah.

I love the mental torture when u had to push urself forward when you cant. I love the beads of sweat pouring down ur body. I love the adrenaline rush in your blood.

I love it when i look in the mirror, i see myself covered in sweat and in a nearly see thru tee (coz of e sweat). And the sweat beads appearing thru my make up, and my make up doesnt smudge, keke. I find it extremely sexy. Lol. Makes me have the urge.

I couldnt sleep last night, not sure isit coz of these things happening or isit coz i slept too much on mon night. I hope its e latter. Or so i consoled myself.

Mons and Tues are always the hardest for me. Coz i will be very caught up with work and i will be damn stressed. Ive always hope there will be someone, be it a close fren to help ease me during early part of weekdays. Then again, ive been going thru these myself. Maybe it shd jus still tis way.

No matter where tis goes. I guess its not at all wasted. Ive changed meanwhile and i think ive become tougher again, not that im not tough enuff for those who knoe me. But i wan to be tougher, like steel. Like cold blooded. I wan to be cold and hard.

I guess we r still trying bah. Or at least trying to let time tell. Perhaps its true that some things arent there anymore. We dun tok about it already, in fact we dun tok already, jus short words of safety only.

Im kinda numb to tis already... Going to the immune stage. But tis is fine. If i can becum immune tts great. Coz if it happens again, at least i can still carry on.

Ironically, today is our one mth.

What a long mth it had been.

Living is already really difficult, y make relationship the same.

My 8th relationship. He took the lucky number away.

Keep smiling, Celestine. Im sure u'll be fine, jus like always~~~

Attached

I was obviously back like wat, 2 weeks ago?

But having gone through alot of issues over the past 2 weeks which left me with no mood to blog at all. I am having prob working, let alone to blog.

U noe wat affects me? Humans, which is y i prefer to be alone. And u noe wat kind of humans tt affect me personally? Frenz and lovers. And u noe who affects me greatly? Enuff to make me lose my zz, mood to work, moltivation and even change me? A Lover.

YES.

I am attached. Coming a mth in a couple of days actually. In wat already seemed like ages. And thats not a positive comment.

Under normal circumstances, i would not have gone into it again. Especially since ive kept myself single for the past 2 yrs. But there was something in tis one, that was different. I had stopped knowing guys since 2 yrs back to prevent myself from gettin attached easily.

I am hard to get, but i am not without weakness.

I noe as long as i close the newer options, i would be safe. Working circle is fine, i am very firm by that. I do not entertain colleague skirt chasers. Work is work, its jus business. But not socially. Socially its hard to stay very firm. Coz ultimately, u are toking social here.

I noe my weaknesses. If the guy noes how to work me, he will get me, definately, for I do not judge looks, height and richness. He will nail it if he knoe how. Even when i do not fall for him, coz my love can be nurtured.

But tis time he came so naturally, i cant even stop it. And god damn it, hes a damn gd mind player. He read me and he got it. But duno he suay or wat lah... Guys with me all no gd ending de lor...

But thats another thing altogether. I'll tok about tis another time.

Will post the genting pics after tis week.

Away For The Long Weekend

Im in the office as usual. Terribly sick, horribly weak... Sigh...

And im going Genting tonight. Good gracious me... Sigh...

Im so sick, so sleepy, think i will finally get to sleep tonight... Guess i might be able to sleep throughout the coach for the 1st time...

Gonna get more medicine to bring over after work.

Meeting Wendy n Marvin for dinner before my departure. Aint them sweet, though Wendy's going with me to Genting of coz. Lol.

I will be back sun night, late at night. Sigh. If only i can get mon leave... But tts impossible.

Tataz...

Take gd care of urself while im gone okie? Must miss me wor...

Colorgenics

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

This is so creepy can... Right, SZ?

Actually i did twice, the 1st was damn accurate as well. But i forgot to save it. Knowing myself in depth, i have 2 sides to my personality. So i knew i had to do it 2 times, coz i haf 2 different flow of mindset...

1st time was damn negative and its right on for all my weaknesses, which ppl always refused to accept in themselves... While it is oso abit hard for me to swallow, i noe its true, jus still kinda hard for ppl to throw it at ur face. Lol.



Results ~

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

The way things are at this time is causing you considerable stress and anxiety. Your friends and acquaintances consider you to be - to say the least - difficult and unapproachable. Now it is because of this that you need to find some sort of solution. By doing nothing and waiting for matters to right themselves will only make things worse, but don't rush into making hasty decisions - make haste slowly.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.

Some Updates, Lol.

Sigh sigh sigh... Sucks right, i always say will blog but oso nothing de...

Wat to do, i so busy one... And when i am not busy, i am so lazy lor...

Im in the office now but this morning, strangely theres nothing much... Maybe oso coz my bosses haven come in yet.

I think i slept at 5+am yest lor... So sleepy can... I one week never really slp le, every night 2-3hrs, i wan to die liao... This weekend all thks to my handsome babe, made me sleep at like wat, 10+am... -_____-" How to slp back normal lidat?

Hopefully i can concuss tonight... Hope only ar... *cross fingers* But then if so easy i last week oso wun lidat le.

My handsome babe, buddy, he finally came back from Europe le... But then i wasnt really sure he came back, lol. Then i didnt call him... Wah, i tell u arh, he cursed me till duno like wat... He tolerated one day, and following day after my work, he called and scolded me upside down... Lol...

The moment i picked up and said "hello" only, he started tis chain of words which i cant even cut in, "U DUN MISS ME ALREADY U DUN MISS ME ALREADY, U CHANGE HEART ALREADY, U BITCH LOR, WAU LAU, I COME BACK ONE DAY ALREADY U NEVER EVEN CALL ME! TO THINK I CALLED U 1ST THING WHEN I REACHED SG, AND I EVEN HELPED U BUY ALCOHOL LOR!", etc etc.

Hahaha...

Anyways, i am glad he n his partner's back safely...

Strangely, the whole world called me on tt night as well to ask me out... I went to meet my ex colleagues for supper at 10pm (my dinner though, so hungry can!). We went to MS's Sakae Sushi supper buffet. After tt i went ktv wif my babe.

My gawd, he changed so much lor... Minusing his sudden 80s look, he suddenly becum a better drinker... Impressed man, it was e 1st time i see him drink faster, n more than me... While i suddenly resisted e idea of drinking tt night thks to the multiple nights of drinking before hand. Lol...

He exclaimed, "Wat happened to u?". "Duno leh, think ive changed while u not ard lor, suddenly like cannot take beer le..." "NVM, i MAKE SURE i bring u back!"...

Lol.

Having said tt, e person who changed my alcohol taste was saying last night, "Drink wat beer, now gd mah, drink Martell, beer like water n soda water lor." "Lidat then y u can get drunk drinking abit only leh" "Aiyah aiyah..." Haha...

Then tis person was complaining last night, "Siao liao le lah, all ur fault, now i drink half a bottle of martell oso no feel le"... "I am a gd trainer mah"...

I love this 2 bitches in my life now. Though they duno each other, and are way different from each other. But somehow, i am the middle point. Kekekek.

My voice is so bad now, coz we laughed for more than an hr yest morn... Sigh, dun even ask me y... But both of us ended up losing our voice and started coughing. Haha...

Marvin's sis getting married on 1st April, sigh, duno wat to wear leh... Time for some shopping le. SZ!!!!!!

Still so tired lor... Tonight i must make sure i go sleep after i reach home straight, if not wait n wait then at night cannot slp again...

Today is mon again... Sobz... Whole week to go...

But im going Genting again, in 3 weeks time... So excited... I noe ive said i will post my 2 last genting trip pics be4... Haha, aiyah, maybe tis time i will post lor... Tts if the pics are nice lah... But shd be nice lah, tis time round got my nice camera mah...

Im going wif Wendy n SZ. Wah lau i tell u, after i booked and bought the ticks, so many ppl scolded me say i never bring them go lah, never ask them lah, tis n tt...

When i asked them in the past, everyone is like, "dun wan lah! so sian one! go there do nothing!" tis n tt... So i go myself now, they all complained, then they said tts in the past mah... Lol...

K lah, i admit its my fault oso, coz i did considered asking another 4 ppl... But the grp will be super mixed and i haf no idea how to split for rooms... Coz its like, u noe, everyone's close to me, so how to split myself into so many pieces... Lol...

K lah, i type till so sian le oso... Till the next tym.

Some Updates

Aiyo, i so no time to blog lor.

When did i last wrote my entry. Wait let me go check 1st...

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Orh, chu 3 movie i watched Ghost Rider, not nice one... Bleah... The ghosts come out i laugh le... Then abit dumb lor, took cab go down tamp, nothing to do there, coz marvin mahjonging, oliver playing game. -__-" Then i use the com lor... So bo liao, then eat liao, same thing again, continued to wait till movie start.

Then after tt think ard 12am, take cab back. So pointless right. Duno y i go down for anyways. So extra.

Then chu 4 i forgot i do wat liao. But think i forced marvin n oliver to eat dinner wif me. Then say after 7 call me. Then no news liao... Then i called them they still slping. Marvin said they fell asleep. Damn it lor. Then Marvin ask me eat myself. So angry lor... But in the end, he woke Oliver and they met me.

But i cant remember its chu 4 or 5 leh... Maybe its chu 5 so means i rot at home on chu 4.

Anyways, we went to WARAKU to eat. I love tt place though their customer service sucks. Love e jap food there. So much better than Sushi Tei. Yucks. Am not going to Sushi Tei for a long long time. Working at SP Services and coz of Marvin made me eat there till i wan to puke le...

I tell u arh, we 2 sure kena cursed de... Some ppl nv even eat lobster and uni in their whole life, but we 2 hor, eat lobster sashimi cannot finish de somemore... 1st few time we eat, after tt we always leave alot behind. *smack myself* Did i blogged abt tis already? Nvm.

Then Oliver dropped us and we went ktv. Then after tt Oliver came to join us hor... He called Marvin but he didnt pick up, so he went to the front desk and said, "Im looking for tis 2 person, e guy always come here one, e female one, although shes a chinese but she look like a malay"...

Bloody hell, and the waiter brought him into our room lor!!!

SO BEK CEK LEH!!!

How can he say tt!!!

Then he still commended he smart... *ah bish* him ar.

Fri i rotted at home i think. Oh i headed to AMK HUB, its so much bigger than i thot. THough now only 2 basement levels opened. Didnt feel like i was in AMK. Cooked dinner and bought 2 vcds to watch.

Sat n sun i headed out as usual lor.

Then mon hor... Aiyo, think liao i oso wan to faint le. So bz can!!!

SO many many things to do, i couldnt even finish... But today all the things died down liao, i got nothing to do now. Sigh.

Tmr night i going for KTV wif Ah Bee, for drinking actually. Oso, its his bday. Bought his pressie le, goin to get SZ's late pressie tis sat.

Marvin and Oliver went to Europe le. They going France, London, Germany, Paris. I asked him get LV Wallet for me, muahahaha... And oso some alcohol at DFS. DUno he will buy or not.

2 weeks later then they come back. SObz... GOnna miss them so much.

K lah, i blog till so long oso sian. Go find some things to do.

Chu 3~

I didnt do any spring cleaning. Lol.

SZ didnt go to our sec frenz gathering, so had asked her to haf dinner wif me and watch movie. Since im alone at home anyways. But then ended up, i headed to Marvin's place for steamboat. Marvin is mahjonging now, and Oliver is playing game beside. Damn bored can.

Will be catching a movie soon as well.

Ok lah, i will leave all the shoppin n cleaning till tmr. Kekekekek.

Hmm.

I expected myself to crash in till abt 3-4 pm...

But damn i woke up so much earlier thks to someone. -_______-"

Surfed e internet till nothing to surf oso, msn oso nobody online. Minus those i blocked lah, oops! But u all sleeping ar? Or still out bai nian? Are the shops opened already today? Shd be right?

Im in a lazing kind of mood, lol. So didnt even intend to do wat i had intended. Muahaha. Aiyah, lazy lah.

My mood is still lousy and abit ruptured. I shd let it go sooonn. Dun wanna get myself affected over matters tt aint worth it at all.

Happy Hols~

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

Watever e occasion, i jus hope u all had a nice break from work and all others. For me, my break will be one week, so i'll be starting work on next mon.

On Fri, it was half day for me, i met a fren for lunch, then shopping (or rather he shop only), then dinner then more shopping, then movie. My sat and sun were pretty packed as well, it was sort of celebrating CNY n SZ's bday altogether.

Sat i went for movie, then shopping... Ooo, i bought a nike jacket which i love to bits. I really really like it, though its like a 100 bucks jacket. Jus wondering when the hell will i have the chance to wear it. Lol.

Its so nice though ex, but i noe i will definately regret if i dun grab it.

I tried it on a few times, not wanting to let it go. And SZ said to me, "Dun bother tryin already, its very nice. Jus a matter of whether u wan to buy or not." And then when i paid at the cashier, the guy said to me, "Tis is a very nice jacket!"... Hee.

Then we went home for reunion dinner, and then headed out again for ktv. I was drunk and i sat at my blk for awhile chatting on the phone, be4 i headed home and was knocked out.

On sun, it was another reunion dinner. SZ came to eat wif us, some ppl came to me place and the whole family of one of my fren as well. SZ and I went to visit my dad and then i bought her a swensen ice cream cake last min to cut and stayed in yishun till abt 2am.

Yest was boring though. I dun haf plans, so i stayed at home. Bought some booze in the evening, coz i wanted to slp the day away. Unfortunately, i got so drunk and puked like mad. Lol. But it did knocked me out.

I got up ard 11+pm, had my dinner (maggi), watched some tv till now. Gonna watch some epis of Naruto, i will be chasing it again, since its gonna follow the manga again from tis week onwards. Now tts such a great news.

Seriously, i wonder wat e hell am i gonna do for the next 6 days. Hmm... Think i shall do some spring cleaning again tmr. Pack and clear my wardrobe, one drawer, and the things on my table in e living room. Guess tts pretty much it, unless i wan to touch the storeroom, which i wun. lol.

Then on wed, i will head out to do some shopping, gonna buy a case for my ipod, track pants, masque. I will need to set a day to do some of my work, and another day perhaps to get some new working clothes. Ive been wearing the same things for yrs. Lol. Sat, i will meet SZ for some senseless shoppin at Vivo. I wan to eat the Korean food!

The entry is soooo meaningless. Lol. Okok, i will blog more tmr.

Celestine's Back

I am back.

Or so i felt.

I felt i went on a journey. Ive changed. I did things that I usually wouldnt,
worked in a place which ive nv intended, did a job which i wouldnt, befriended
some whom i wouldnt as well.

It was quite tough for me the past 3 weeks. I had to deal with the transition,
not only in terms of jobscope. But rather, mentally, physically and
emotionally.

I did not realise what happened until the last saturday late night which i
spent with SZ. While i was sitting facing her (its been some time since i last
did tt) chatting, its like the moment just dawned on me all of a sudden.

The way i tok, the things ive said. I realised ive not done so for a long time.
Its not exactly like i was enlightened or something, but more like "U noe
something, suddenly I realised im back." And i thot it was quite a surreal
feeling then.

SOme things and ppl never change, even if time passes. One example will be her. Though i cant tell u oso whether is tis gd or bad. Lol, she'll get the drift. While i still meet her up these past 6 mths. I just felt our distance drifting apart more n more each time. I noe its not her. It is all just me.

I noe ive drifted away, jus tt ive not intended to tok to her abt it then. And back to tt night. I just realised tt, we are still the same. I came back and i am still me, back to the beginning. Though i couldnt answer her if tis is gd or bad when she asked.

She said i went "exploring" and sort of asked me "so how was it?". I jus felt that i went one big round and came back with nothing, since i am back at the beginning. I experienced and missed some moments and ppl that i noe i shdnt.

Anyways, i am in the office now and i got to go back to my work. But since i am back, i will continue to blog, and maybe even more often than usual for my own good. I miss blogging. While i was alway for the past 6 mths, i came in to blog for the sake of it, without even feeling anything.

So tis time its different.

I am back. And i will continue to blog. NOt just for the sake of it.

I just had abit of regret tt i did not jot down all the things tt had happened within the 6 mths. Fortunately, its jus a gap of 6 mths.

Now tt i am back. Do you miss the old me?

However, some things still changed. If not, i would haf totally gone for a journey for nothing.

Tendered My Resignation

After a long haul, i've tendered my resignation yest.

But wats frustrating thing was tt my deputy director and my supervisor were on leave, so i had to hand it to my assistant manager who doesnt really know abt the situation and therefore i couldnt even make my piece.

It would have been a shocking revelation coz they didnt noe i was leaving and thus i was planning to explain alot of matters. They knew abt the rest of them but they didnt noe i was in it too.

After all the crap of everyone leaving and me struggling to stay on. At the end of the day, i was the 1st of my grp to go. But this time its different, ive gotten a job and will be starting my new job soon. I had agreed on tt end, so even if they wanted to keep me, everything is too late.

Nvm, wat matters is im leaving. Last day will be next fri but still pending the actual confirmation day from HR.

Marvin tendered with me as well. And one week after we leave, it will be Gim Fong's turn. The rest of them had all changed their minds, 2 had decided to stay, the rest of them will be leaving in feb or march. However, my company expected alot more to quit and thus they had hired 8 more newbies to fill up the gaps.

Thing is even with me n marvin gone, they still need ard 5 more seats, wats going to happen i do not noe, i jus wish all the best to those who are staying.

Will blog more abt tis tmr.