Congrats! Congrats!

Congrats to me~~~ *throws confetti all ard* But tis is no happy post.

Ive finally survived the 3 mths agency bond in my current job. 18 Nov was my official 3 mth, and i cancelled my OT on tt sat coz i knew i couldnt take it anymore.

It might haf been a very short time for most of u, but not so for me. Its been a long haul. It felt more like 6 mths.

Nevertheless, i am proud to haf endured through tis 3 mths of torment. *GIVES MYSELF A BIG PAT ON MY BACK (LUCKY I CAN STILL REACH.)*

I had on so many occasions when i just wanted to disappear from work, reach home, type my resignation and throw it on my manager's desk. Though its nothing to do wif her. But the frustration made me lost my mind on so many occasions.

I became more n more nasty. Having to deal with horrible and nasty ppl every day... If i continue in tis job for any longer. I would most prob becum cold, sian and heartless. Which in a way is wat i wan and dun wan to becum. Dun get it? Nvm. Tts jus me.

I intended to quit end of tis mth, coz i already had advanced pay, if i leave now i haf to retn them alot of money. But it would be quite silly at tis pt coz to endure another mth, i would get pro-rated bonus, which is like abt 300+... I dun really care abt e money, wats 300+ for another mth of mental torture, but its jus dumb to leave now...

I noe i haf not blogged for so long, blogger prompted me for my user id and i forgot wats tt. Lol.

Cross my heart, I had really genuinely wanted to stay in tis job for 1-2 yrs. At least to make it more stable coz none of my jobs ive held previously for the past 3 yrs lasted more than 3 mths... Sounds like a useless, spoilt person toking, but who cares. If i explained in details which i wun, u noe its not my fault and i am not procrastinating nor am i in self denial mode.

Being in the job itself got tougher each day. Recently, it became so boring. I narrowed from 2 yrs plan to 1 yr, to jus cross my confirmation which is 6 mths, to after dec, to tis mth.

It wasnt easy.

I am abit stubborn though, i wan to leave, but i feel fucked up to pay them back my mcs. Coz our mcs are unpaid leave. I took one in oct, and i paid back. Tis mth though they changed the system, i took 2 mcs which is like 160 bucks. So if i leave before 6 mths, i would haf to pay alot of money back... And in a way, i am not willing to do so.

However, its not easy to survive till 18 feb 07 which happen to my chinese new yr which also happened to be my gd fren, SZ's bday.

But watever, they might even jus fire me before the end. And hire a bunch of newbies. Its already 12 new ppl after my batch, and abt the same no. of ppl left & fired as well during tis period of time.

If i strangely, magically managed to survive till feb, i would most prob jus stay till end of next yr. Though its going to be very lonely coz everyone i knew will be gone by jan. But i highly doubt so as well, since the last time they cfm someone is like 2 yrs back. And unless i stumbled upon some numbing potion, its unimaginable to even think tt i will stay till then.

Sigh. But i am trying my best u noe. I gave my best le. It took me alot of strength to tahan tis 3 mths u noe.

My prev company wanted me back, but its hard for me to retn u noe. But tts even harder to start everything all over again. And seriously i haf no idea wat to look for or rather i haf lost the confidence in looking for another one, fearing all the jobs would end up like the ones ive had for the past yrs again.

I of coz understand tt jobs r jobs, most of the time, they r fucked up and we had to endure it and we at the end of the day still haf to earn a living, especially when we all haf so much commitmts.

But if i forever think tis way, and stick to watever shit im facing. I will nv be able to break away fr tis.

Though i haf no idea how much time ive left in tis world, but i noe i shdnt jus stop here. At least its still easier for me to continue searching in hope of finding where i wan to go then to do it 10 yrs later.

I wan to leave le. But i mus tahan. Must ren till jan... But if i can ren till next jan i might as well cross my confirmation right, or wait till they fire me (fire u = ask u to leave = no compensatn btw).

I very scared to go work tmr... I haf 1 big shitty case, caused by one dumb counter staff who screwed tis cust. And now i got to clear tt stupid girl's shit. I hope she gets wat she deserved. Coz i am so going to complain abt her after hopefully i managed to resolve e case tmr.

I haf 2 small shit cases to follow up also.

Sian sian sian sian...

Oh and i am kinda broke until the next pay which is 4 weeks away. Urgh.

See how lor, maybe for next 2 weeks or so, i go supermarket buy bread and make sandwich everyday to eat.

And i shall not go drinking nor eat at fancy restaurants. But see how lah. Lol.

I plan to come back straight after work for next 2 weeks, to save money and eat maggie mee. But 1st i would need to go and buy maggie mee 1st... Lol.

But if i dun go out haf fun hor, i would feel even worst lor. Hmmmmmmmmm...

Ok lah, i blog another time le. Soon, i hope.