Bad Person

Had a very bad dream last fri night.

I was and still am quite affected by it. But i guess i managed to say to that person wat i really felt that time, even though it was only in the dream. I didnt wake up in tears, but i felt broken once more.

I knew that i will dream of it again, thanks to somebody who kept brining it up though i had already been trying to put it behind me. -_-"

For the sake of many individuals, I twist my words all the time. To make them feel better and to feed their egos. Often due to tis, I have alot of regrets.

Ppl will never know the truth. To cover up for their mistakes, i jus bit wat i suffered in silence and put them in better light.

I know wat really happened. And i cant say it out. Sigh.

Perhaps i shd jus stop being nice altogether.

It doesnt pay u noe. To take in everything urself. To suffer alone. Its plain dumb n stupid.

They will never know what you had done for them, would they? Will they get it one day when they think back?

In the end, they only remembers u as the bad person. And thats the return you get.

I remembered i wrote tis statement during one of my film n video project during poly days. It was a review for our own project, team, etc.

I wrote, "It's not easy to be a bad person, let alone all the time. But someone's got to do it. And so, who's more ideal than me? Since I've been doing it so much, that others had already embedded the bad being in myself. I can't bear to let others do it. I have to make the move, so that the rest dun haf to suffer wat i did."

I seriously wondered wat my lecturer thot when i wrote that. Then again, thats provided he got read thoroughly.

I didnt write the exact same words, but that was wat i meant though.

Perhaps i should really change... I feel torn.