I Myself Wonder Too

While i am still on the topic... Astra's new short entry caught my attention... And it evoked certain thots n memories about myself...

For me, i started taking photos since very young, wif lousy $100+ film camera of coz... Photos are sort of a rare thing in my house, we do haf a few albums of our family when i was small, but the family break up ruined most of them by my heart broken mother... Luckily some were saved and i managed to still haf some gd deal of them, though i haf no idea where are they now, after moving houses for more than 10 times... lol... Some where in e storeroom, yah, shd be...

I haf this thing about seeing photos (those tt haf ppl inside, not those pro pro landscape, artistic kind, i young time cannot appreciate, lol)... I like to see photos, when i was young, whenever i go to ppl's houses, e 1st thing i will ask them was whether they haf any photos tt they can show me...

Thinking of tis, brings back a nostalgic feel... Then u will see ur frenz dig out from storerooms, or deep into their drawers... Often, coated wif jus a little dust, they carried these huge, old, abit ugly (e trend then) photos albums, tt contains photos of their little family... More so often, the photos would haf turned yellow, but still not enuff to taint away the smiles on their faces...

And then we would jus sit there and browse thru each one in details, while e fren would explain enthusiastically wat happened in e photo, etc... And then e fren might snatch e album away for unflattering pics of themselves... Lol...

To me, photos are memories trigger tool... More often nowadays, if u ask ur fren to tell u about his/her childhood over a cup of mocha at coffeebean, he/she will usually say, "y leh? aiyah so long liao cannot remember le lah! like tt lor!"...

But now, everything's changed...

I also realised tt i take better private photos then compared to now... Lol, i think becoz negatives/film are expensive, and each photo will haf to be developed for e 1st time, and each costs 20cents even if its overexposed, or ugly... So taking photos then need alot of heart n feel... Otherwise, its wasting my hard saved money...

I used to be so passionante about it, whenever i am out, for outings especially, i make sure i carry my big ugly black lousy film cam, and buy tonnes of film, to capture every moment... Later i would rush to studios and get them developed, while waiting anxiously at home... Sometimes, i couldnt even wait, i would go for 1 hr express service... Lol...

Then when i got the pictures, i will look thru them carefully, checking... Throwing away all those cannot make it ones or problematic ones... Sometimes it can skip a frame i even haf photos in darkness... Lol... The studios then will develop everything, but now their services better of coz, those cannot ones, usually they wun charge u... And then i will choose a few pics for the free enlargements given by the studios, and wait for them 3 weeks later...

And then i will go buy lovely (now childish to me) huge photo albums for them... Then i will stick every photo according to sequence painstakingly...

Then came e digital cams... It was so convenient (supposedly)! I can view the picture be4 i take n i haf e POWER to delete them if i dun like them, or even take multiple shots of the same thing, jus as i wish, without worring about e ex films... Hahahah... Best of all, i dun even need to develop them, i jus transfer to my com, and TADA, i can view them any time i wan, and the photos wouldnt even turn yellow... Unless of coz if i wan them to, wif photoshop... Yah, i can also remove all e pimples on my face... Haha... Sounds so great!!!

Of coz, u can still develop photos if u like at a crazy 50 cents then (now its 30 cents), of coz, u can choose not to print it too since u can view them on ur com anyways, and heavy albums jus take up alot of space... Maybe jus print a few special ones will do...

Sounds like a great deal...

As the yrs passed... I realised i take more unneccessary photos... Lol, mainly photos of myself... Hahahah, i haf tonnes of them... Coz ugly ones i can deleted and then i can pose anyway i wan, in the privacy of my room (when my sis's not ard)...

But gradually, i stopped everything all together...

I stopped looking at my photos (com), i stopped taking photos of outings... If u asks me to specially take pictures for outings i also no heart liao... So much so tt, even if i went for a trip, i didnt even bother to take out my cam from my bag... Somehow, i dun do wat i used to love so much about anymore...

Occasionally i will take some pics, like when i wan to show ppl how my son looks like... Even though i was quited appalled when the 1st thing ppl said instead of e usual ur son so cute, "Y ur photo so exposed, y ur son blurry one!"...

Like how one fren of mine showed her funny pic (i still laugh at it even till now) to her fren, and fren replied, "Y u pose until lidat? Ur resolution never set enuff isit? U shd pose pretty mah!"

So much for sharing photos... So much for sharing moments...

I went to a place where i left off when i took pictures wif my film cam in e past... I went back again wif my digital cam tis time, thinking tt i wan t recapture all those moments, and tt i shd get slightly better photos since i can view them now... Instead of trial n errors then...

Then when i compared them... Its jus world's apart...

A 20 yrs old couldnt even take even 10% of the quality of photos tt a mere 13 yr old did...

Tt was then when i realised i lost it... It was wasnt e same anymore, even though, digitally i can make the photos, visually better... But the essence was lost...

Same place, same taker, same brain (if not more matured), but different soul...

To me it was a pity, its seemes so tough now even to pick up the old pieces... I cant imagine myself getting back a film camera, and doing the same as in e past, developin, buying, choosing, sticking, and sharing... It is ok if ppl said im crazy, when e rest r looking thru e pics thru their digi cams... And ive got to mail them e pics at a cost, or scan them at least, in order to email like e rest... I am ok wif wat ppl say... Just tt, i thot, its not e same anymore...

Anyways, do keep shooting pics ok? U will be so glad tt u did in ur older days... Though i cant imagine me as a wrinkled old woman using e mouse, shaking, viewing pictures of myself when i was 21 yrs old... Lol...

I believe i will pick it up again... Maybe jus not now... When i am financially stable... I shouldnt jus let something i was so once passionate about, disappear... I wan to be piled wif albums again... I wan to complain tt i got no space for them... And i will force my frenz to see them whe they come to my house... Lol...

At least, if i haf children, i would like them see wat happened... Even though there might be a missing gap... At least i can tell them stories and they haf pictures to relate to... Before they throw them away after i die... Lol...

Sharing wif them my precious moments...

I would like to share wif u a link of tis photographer...

From his blog, i can see Singapore through a different eye... His photos are very urban which i like, i dun like futuristic artistic modern photography, i prefer eu urban feel coz it brings back alot of memories, his each picture also evoke a theme or emotion...

Although his photos are digitally enhanced... I also said i haf nothing against digital effects... But it is the feel i got from his pictures tt made me follow his blog for a long time... I got the link thru a recommendation by a famous blogger long long ago... Who also appreciates e kind of pictures he take of Singapore n its ppl...

Though his skills are not great or perfect so to speak... But i enjoy them... Maybe not e recent one, its creepy to me... I haf tis thing about creepy n scary things, so do not ever send me those kind of things... Unless u hate me... Lol...

Oh and i like the wedding pictures he took... Got the feel leh, see liao i very touched...

http://l-inc.blogspot.com/