A Msg For U

A message for u noe who u r:
I AM HOME SAFE & SOUND... I took the route u always complained about and i got wat u meant... However, it was a total different experience for me (i actually wrote experiment initially, think i am tired, plus the stupid headache)...

Its been some time since i took those routes... And watching the places go by, it was nostalgic but saddening at the same time... Tonnes of memories appeared on the surface of my memory bank all of a sudden...

It was overwhelming... And it brought tears to my eyes... Perhaps it was also due to a dosage of tireness and my mood and my headaches...

The memories were very sad... Those were the dark days, on the paths of sorrow, as i called them in the past...

Of coz, i do noe... I haven let them go... How can i ever?

U can call me a failure... It seems no matter how far i escape from that place, i can never let it go completely... Coz a part of me, hidden, still wishes to go back, and still wishes that things can go right... But we both noe it happened, and history cannot be rewritten...

Perhaps tis is one of the things about the old me, tt i cant seem to change...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My mood jus took a total turn... I am jus angered by u noe who (i mean the person who tis msg intended for will noe) ... Sigh... I am in no condition to continue tis msg... Stupid...

Suddenly depressed, and now angered... Damn...

Wat a wonderful life i have...

I shd haf known, ppl jus dun change... The ultimate core of the prob will forever be there, resurfacing every time when their problems diminished... Benefits of doubts are jus mere words of waste given by stupid ppl like me, who never learn and continue to believe naively in the gd of this very earth...

...................

I take back wat i said in some of my old entries... Ppl change only when they are in deep shit, and when all's well again, they forget everything and becum the old them...

Ppl step all over me coz they noe i dun blow up on them, and i bear all the nonsense and bullshit silently, coz i sincerely do not wish to make a fuss... I am very tired, i am in no state of challenging egoistic ppl to the death jus to prove tt i am right... And becoz of tt, i sometimes haf to tolerate the world's worst bullshit theory and listen in...

But i am jus a mere human made of flesh and blood, when i reach my limit and explode, they blamed e fault of e matter to me... Like they shared no responsibility... Saying tt i shd haf been more understanding, patient, receptive or watever crap they can think of...

Yaya, all my fault lah... U all right in everything lah... Like tt, u all happy right? (Damn, i sound so childish, but let me be...)

Sigh, i am jus so sick of tis world...

Having said all tt, i noe its nasty, (ok my fault again, duhz), but pls give me the space to rant for once... Sigh, i will get over it, like u all do... So dun get all defensive about wat i wrote, especially if u do not even noe wats going on...

I read wat i wrote, i noe its abit harsh... Of coz, its jus a spur of the moment... I sounded scary and evil... Maybe i am... Which is y things never worked... I noe i am not a 100% gd natured person, i noe i haf my temper, my shortcomings, my insincerity to some, my sinful deceits to some (in e past, i think, as far as i can remember)... Damn, i am still blaming myself!!!

I seemed to be falling into depression... Or maybe its pms... I duno... But i certainly feel something, coz its getting worst everyday tis week and i get emo and go thru drastic rollercoster rides (of coz, not wifout any eternal catalyst)... Myabe i am jus crashing n burning... Maybe i am jus giving in tis time...

Maybe i jus wan to scream and cry... Maybe i jus wan to let all out...

Sigh...

Like wat we always tell others, " TMR WILL BE A BETTER DAY!!! "

Perhaps...

I will try to sleep off it... I hate all bad things happening together...

And tmr when the sun rises, and when i slept enuff, i will put in "happy entries"... And 2 movie reviews... Elizabethtown & Memoirs of a Geisha...

I am sorry for those i had offended, as it is not my intent... The writings may be disgusting, and it may be late night n the headaches tt drove my fingers... Maybe i'll regret wat i said tmr...

It is 430am now, and i think i shd get some sleep...

TMR WILL BE A BETTER DAY!