It's weird to start off my 2008 entries with this title. Should have said something like Happy New Year, my resolutions or something nice.
But i jus cant do that.
Anyways, i hope 2008's been great so far for the rest of you. And yes, even though its already 18 Jan, but still, Happy New Year.
I duno wats wrong with me. I feel my life energy being drained.
Granted i was very sick for about a mth and i still went Batam last week end. I was overwhelmed with tiredness. And somehow i never seemed to recover.
I totally did not enjoy my batam retreat a single bit. It was supposed to be fun, relaxing, enjoyable. While the other 2 had a fantastic time. I for one reason or another, felt very sick, pressurized and tired. It was as though nothing went my way then. I was frowning all the way, in a fucked up mood. Sigh...
And it followed me all the way.
Im not sure if its psychological. But it felt as though im under a curse or voodoo trick or i brought "something" back.
I've rested, i slept but I could not sleep properly at all. I feel tired all the time. I cannot focus, concentrate or speak properly I have no energy at all. When i try to work or watch tv or eat (putting in more energy than usual in other words), i get this enormous sharp pain across my head. If u look at my face now, i cant even open my eyes fully.
Ive got to exert alot of mental strength and energy jus to prop my eyes open when its only natural during normal days. You have no idea how much energy ive got to exert jus to type these. Sigh.
And its not abt lack of sleep, Celestine always function without sleep. But tis time it jus feels so different. My neck and shoulders are aching badly (i jus had a massage last week for goodness sake), my muscles are all collapsing. I feel like tearing my body apart.
I duno if its the added work responsiblities or the financial pressure, or wat.
I think im jus going mad. And i jus have to tok to people to keep my sanity in check.
