HAPPY BELATED 21ST BDAY TO CELESTINE!

Yeah, to myself...

Its over now. Finally... It was on Sunday btw... I cant explain whether it was happy or not, coz i myself, am bloody hell confused... I haf mixed feelings...

Guess wat SHuzhen gave me? LOTR EXT DVD RETURN OF THE KING! Original leh, mind u!!!!

SO nice, im going to buy the other 2 when i get my tis mth's pay.

I love their packaging, i like!!!

............................

I didnt noe wat happy things to blog here... Coz im feeling damn fuck up right now, and i cant let it all out...

Sigh...

I need some time to get over my issues. I need a new avenue...

.............................

Ive decided to start another blog. A confidential one... This time, it will be the real me wif real thots...

Who the hell will genuinely wan to know the real me, my real thots...

YES! NO ONE!!! None at all...

Come on lah, lets face it, ppl will only be concerned with their own troubles... Who the hell go all the way for one another in these days... They only wan others to hear them out, accompany them, but when e table turn ard, they will run away...

When my fren was down, i spent nights n nights sleepless to tok tt person over, spent so many days going out, accompany tt person even till late nights till i take midnight cabs home even when i was broke...

But when i needed someone, tt person made up some excuse and ended my call...

Bloody hell...

More examples? I have so many, and many often which i cant even say it here...

???: Hey, how haf u been?

Me: Not very gd.

???: Oh ok.

???: So anyways, wat did u do today?

Me: .............

Another one.

!!!: How have u been?

Me: Not gd.

!!!: Hmm, cheer up.

!!!: So how was ur weekend? Had fun?

Me: -______________________-"

.................................................................

I'll still blog here... Everything will be the same, just like some decisions i have to make, i will still appear the same on the outside... But not anymore the old self...

Of coz, ppl are always only concerned superficially, who the hell would even bother wat i really write... Ppl only wan to read happy things, see happening entries...

And when at times i write more serious stuffs, they complain its too long lah, say i too boring lah... Tis n tt... Worst, say i so negative... Like Wat THE????

When u depressed, u write sad stuff, ppl say u negative... When u happy write happy stuffs, ppl say u so gd life... Bloody hell...

Nvm...

I noe, no matter how much effort i make, nobody will see the real me, ppl always misunderstand me, even when i never do anything...

Since even the closest can misunderstand and can still misjudge, i dun see any reason y i shd make my life so miserable by trying so hard...

I am trying so hard for ppl to see ME... But unfortunately, ppl only sees wat they pressumed... If i dun even try, ppl either see me as a fucked up bitch and spread crazy rumours about me, if not a tough and extremely difficult to get along wif coz i never compromise, if not, they will see me as a damn rich spoilt girl... DAMN, where e hell they pressume all these fr???

2 WORDS:

GIVEN UP...