Friday, March 11, 2005

Am I Right or Wrong?

Ooooo... First of all, gd news, i can continue to blog liao, coz wif the help of Shuzhen n her fren, i had managed to keep the spyws under control. Though the prob is still there, however, its still manageable, at least they left my blog alone liao... Heh, am satisfied...

Hmm... Right or wrong...

Ok, as u know i had decided to leave my industry... However, about one mth ago, i saw one job opening at one company(still within my animation industry), which i was interested in. The position is different tis time, so i applied...

However, the thing is actually i haf frenz workin there, and they had asked me to work there be4, but i rejected the offer then coz i was workin at my prev company...

But tis time i had decided to send in my cv as a public... But after waiting for some time, i guess they r not going to call me for an interview, how sad...

The thing is, if i had called up my fren, the very least im sure i would at least haf granted the interview thru my fren... However, i chose not to...

Yah, i noe some of u will say tt im stupid... But then, i really cant do such things lor... I do not like to play things thru connections... I really dun, i prefer to let things take a more natural course... Ya, u r right, which is y i can barely survive in tis country. Coz u noe, its all about connection to climb ahead...

Jus like when i was in poly, when some classmates/cozmates achieve their grade A thru gifts, sweet talkin to lecturers, i chose the hard way and gave double effort of my work...

Im not saying i dun experience favourtism or something... Coz sometimes, surprisingly, i do haf lecturers who like me, and then, i do get the grades easier than those who r not so likable, even wif lesser efforts... It is tis practical... However, i dun sweet tok the lecturers, i cant be bothered, so sometimes i wonder y they like me also... Ha, but dun get me wrong i am appreciative...

But for lecturers who dun even bother to remember my name, i got to work my ass off to get gd grades, well, not literally of coz... For me, its always the case of LOVE or HATE, i never seem to haf neutral parties ard me... Weird...

Maybe tis is y, im not cut out to do sales, coz u haf to act so nice n frenly to customers u feel like screaming to. U haf to establish alot of small talks, but for me, i cant coz im more honest to my feelings nowadays...Establishin small toks or obliging conversations will kill me. Especially to those i dun feel comfortable wif or very very rude ppl.

Y am i so hard on myself? Sometimes i ask myself... Sometimes i would be able to get something if i jus request or ask... However, i chose the tougher way...For the so called dignity or principle, i chose not to haf the something at all, and take it as a bonus if eventually i get it in the end thru the longer route...

Well, i dun regret not callin my fren, i considered tat its jus not meant to be... Coz i always believe if its meant to be, it will come... No, im not self consoling, tis is honest feelings. =)

Be4 i applied, i told myself tat tis is the last chance of stayin in tis industry but as a different position, but if im not offered the job, i would move on wif my plans... Looks like, the ans is out now...

Current Balance : 4,627,944 NP
Amt left to reach 5 Million: 372,056 NP

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